Are there any other Childfree individuals here on EF?

Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I've seen a few other people around who've mentioned being childfree, but how many of us are there on here? I'd like to meet the other childfree individuals of EF. Please introduce yourselves and if you feel like it tell me a little about yourself and perhaps a bit about your choice for those who aren't but are curious about the childfree.
10/16/2011
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Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
I'm child free and plan to stay that way. I would get sterilized tomorrow if I could. Their are plenty of human beings (too many). In a world of over population and consumption we don't need more children, individual people do. This is why I consider reproduction for the majority of people including myself to be immoral; this is why I am an anti-natalist. Their are many other reasons of course why I choose not to have children.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Represent!

My name is Chilipepper, and I've never had my own children nor do I intend to. In fact, I'm having my tubal this week.

I like children, but I've never had the desire to have my own. Genetically I am very bad (most of it skipped me, but knowing my luck my poor kid would get it all) and therefor could never even offer myself as a surrogate or the like. I am also on a roller coaster of lifelong depression and would never want to subject a child to my moods. During my 34 years of life I've only twice wanted to have my own children - and both feelings died within a few weeks ... so I've never had this unwavering feeling of wanting children and that someday I'll have them. I have other things in my life to focus on, and it wouldn't be fair to the child in question.

I kind of figure - why should I have a child if I know I can't be a good parent? I've kept my tubal surgery a semi-secret from people in my everyday life because they would get offended that I'm not doing my duty and giving myself a chance to find out what kind of mother I really am. I'm not suited to motherhood, I wish people would accept that some of us aren't. My Master is also child-free (he doesn't trust himself to treat them well because he grew up in an abusive family), and doesn't expect any future relationship with me to include children.

Incidentally, my parents are fully supportive of my decision to get a tubal. They're deathly afraid of raising children in this day and age, and are relieved concerning my choice.

How about you, AndroAngel? I think you mentioned you had ... circumstances?
10/16/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I'm obviously not child-free. I think everyone should make their own decions about having children. There is no need for everyone to have children, and I think it is a very mature decision to say, "I really don't want kids. I don't feel 'obligated' to have them, and I won't!" I know some crappy parents who probably should have chosen their route, as well as some people who would have made good parents, but simply didn't want to; which is a perfect reason for not breeding.

The only problem I have with the "Child Free Nation" is that some of the members are mean to children and parents. I've seen some message boards that talk about people high fiving each other for insulting pregnant women or mothers with babies, encouraging people to hit or pinch or even KICK other people's children in public (along with strategies for "not getting caught") and other really intolerant, mean, immoral actions and thoughts.

As long as People Without Children are kind to children and are as accepting of MY choice as I am of theirs, I'm cool with it. As soon as someone starts telling me what I should do with my own body I'm going into hyper-bitch drive.

Most people who choose not to have children seem to be kind and tolerant. And, I do respect those who don't have kids just because society "expects" us to have them.

I love my kids, however, but my choice is my and my husband's alone.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I'm child free, and plan on being that way for a while. At least until I get married.
10/16/2011
Contributor: bdvnt bdvnt
No kids, except myself. Never had any desire to have kids.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
*raises hand* child-free here! for now anyway!
10/16/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I'm obviously not child-free. I think everyone should make their own decions about having children. There is no need for everyone to have children, and I think it is a very mature decision to say, "I really don't want kids. I don't ... more
What the... people actually encourage that type of behaviour? I've never heard of anything like this before. That is terrible.
10/16/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
I've seen a few other people around who've mentioned being childfree, but how many of us are there on here? I'd like to meet the other childfree individuals of EF. Please introduce yourselves and if you feel like it tell me a little about ... more
Im 24 next friday and the only way I want a child is if my ex and I get back together. As far as he's concerned I consider him family and married to him even if he walks out the door.

I know what its like to have a parent not there for you for many years then have them in your life for years. I find you are so happy whatever state they were in causing them to be away its the greatest feeling when your loved one comes back into your life. I'm so happy I have such a great relationship with both my parents today.

Im also happy to say my ex and I were getting along so well at work last night it felt as if we were together again and I'm a little scared how things will go today...I hope we patch things up fast my birthday is coming up if we are broken up still I just want to come into work and stay busy and keep my mind off everything...I can't have wheat,dairy,sugar or aclohol anyway so I cant sit around eating cake and ice cream I would probly just clean my room and if I could afford to buy paint or the new office chair I want...
10/16/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
Im childfree. Although many friends and younger kids have babies, Im glad I dont. I'd like mine planned, but am suprised a "suprise" baby hasnt popped up.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I'm obviously not child-free. I think everyone should make their own decions about having children. There is no need for everyone to have children, and I think it is a very mature decision to say, "I really don't want kids. I don't ... more
um, that's just ridiculous. And technically illegal, as it can be considered harassment. I can't believe people condone that sort of behaviour, childless or not.

I'm child free, and plan on staying that way. I'd like my parts taken out. I don't want to bring more children into the world. I'd rather adopt a homeless child, if I ever chose to have kids.

Right now, me and my boyfriend like our "children" together. 4 dogs, a cat, 3 snakes, and a rat
10/16/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Represent!

My name is Chilipepper, and I've never had my own children nor do I intend to. In fact, I'm having my tubal this week.

I like children, but I've never had the desire to have my own. Genetically I am very bad (most ... more
Congrats on your tubal! I'm a little jealous.

I do, in fact, have circumstances, I have a genetic condition, the statistics are not good at all. There's a 25% death rate, 50% chance of a major hemorrhage, and a 50% chance I'd be crippled. That isn't why I choose to be childfree, however. My choice has to more to do with my gender identity (Genderless things don't reproduce) and the fact that frankly the world is already overpopulated. Also, a simple lack of desire. I want to experience as much as I can in my life, and I can only do that if my life is my own to live. There are very few people I'd willingly sacrifice for, and I know them well enough to love them. I wouldn't take a gamble on a child with no guarantee they'd be a tolerable person.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Congrats on your tubal! I'm a little jealous.

I do, in fact, have circumstances, I have a genetic condition, the statistics are not good at all. There's a 25% death rate, 50% chance of a major hemorrhage, and a 50% chance I'd be ... more
*hugs*
10/16/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
I am currently childfree, however my husband and I are working on getting pregnant. We desperatly want to have children and hopefully we will be able too.
10/16/2011
Contributor: kellyg kellyg
Hi there. I am apart of the child-free population of EF, lol. I am 26 and have never really wanted to have children. I felt like that since I can remember but lately I have noticed envying people my age that have a whole family already. I realize that that envy comes from being depressed in my life, and I need to take care of myself before even considering having a child to take care of.

I know I suffer from depression and that's a big thing I gotta work on. The person I am..whatevering with, my lover (?), he has a child from a previous relationship..I prefer to take care of his child (if we are in a relationship) rather than have my own, his would be my own kinda thing you know?

Well that's my situation.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I don't have kids, and I don't think I want any in the near future. I feel like I have a hard enough time just managing myself and two dogs. Taking care of a kid seems too overwhelming.

Maybe someday I will want to have kids, but I am definitely not interested right now.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
I don't have kids. I don't want kids. I am a non-breeder.
10/17/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
I'm childfree but I do want them in the future. My current situation will not allow that so it's a waiting game.
10/17/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
I'm childfree, though that's simply because I'm a little young, and not altogether rich enough to support kids, and my girl is currently in another country. Bit of a problem. My penis may be slightly larger than average, but not long enough to reach around the world.
10/17/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Mm, I think we need to clarify some definitions here.

"Childfree" are those who have decided that children will never enter the picture in their lives.

"Childless" are those who long to have their own children, but currently cannot have them due to temporary circumstances.

Being childfree is still looked down upon, worse than not wanting to get married or not wanting to go to college. Many insecure people attack those who choose to not have children by saying they are 'selfish' and 'don't know any better'. I don't know how many times I've been told "Oh, you'll change you'll mind once you hold it in your arms." Right. My grandmother had four and she didn't like any of them but she had them because she was 'expected to'. My mother and her siblings are still in therapy.

I am not childfree out of hatred for children - I do it out of respect to them. I am not a patient person ... do you want an impatient, hot-tempered person having children? By the time I get my schooling and career and all that done I will be old enough for birth defects to kick in ... is there any reason to put a child's health in danger at that stage? I carry enough genetic problems that would get me a restraining order from fertility clinics so it wouldn't rub off on their clients ... do I really want to torment a child with a family history of gastrointestinal disorders, bipolar mental illness, addictive behavior, etc. just by 'hoping' the genetic crapshoot doesn't deal them a bad hand?

Sorry for rambling. I feel that I have to defend my choice everyday, and that it's a choice of free-will. Many were who born with maternal/paternal instincts just don't seem to understand (or want to).
10/17/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I am childless (childfree brings up negative connotations in my mind). I was raised in an emotionally abusive environment and therefore I do not feel that I have a right to become a parent. I don't feel that I could keep those things from happening in my own home because I grew up without coping skills.

While I am nurturing, I am not maternal. I have no desire to be pregnant. I don't consider it to be an amazing adventure in life and I don't think it's something that I need to do in order to feel good about myself or to feel successful as a woman.

There are too many aspects of my personality that just aren't conducive to raising a child. I like to party. I like to sleep and I like to sleep late. I like to just get up and go at a moment's notice if I feel like it and not have to worry about how many nappies or wipes I packed and if there is enough formula to get through the day.

Times are hard enough as it is and I've always felt like having a child in my life would be more of a burden than a happy and joyous situation. No human being deserves to live life that way and so I choose to be childless. I'm very much looking forward to the day when my husband has a vasectomy.
10/17/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Childfree here! Getting my TL next year. I love kids but I have no desire to carry one of my own, nor do I think I need to bring another one into this crazy world right now. I'm more than open to step-kiddos though, should I meet someone that's already got kids. But me as a biological mother? It's just not in the cards, I've never felt like that would be a part of my life.

And yes, as Chilli said, people do get very harsh when you express this lack of desire, whatever your reasoning is. I have no duty to bring a new child into the world when there are so many that need homes and families as it is. However, for those that have the maternal drive to create a family and have their own kids, that's great - it's just not me.
10/17/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I would be childless, as I do wish to have my own children in the future. However I did want to come in here and thank you all for sharing though, and shedding light on something that's a little less than understood most of the time. You're all fantastic human beings
10/17/2011
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
I've seen a few other people around who've mentioned being childfree, but how many of us are there on here? I'd like to meet the other childfree individuals of EF. Please introduce yourselves and if you feel like it tell me a little about ... more
We don't have any children right now, but our planning for it in the near future (year or two).
10/17/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Breas
What the... people actually encourage that type of behaviour? I've never heard of anything like this before. That is terrible.
I think in most cases it's similar to "I'm so mad right now I could punch a baby". It's the equivalent of puffing your chest to make you look cool to all of your internet friends. It's all generally harmless and I don't think people are running around tormenting children. I'd love to see the cojones on someone who had the nerve to touch a stranger's child in that manner. Even though I don't have children, that's a boundary you just don't cross.
10/17/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I think in most cases it's similar to "I'm so mad right now I could punch a baby". It's the equivalent of puffing your chest to make you look cool to all of your internet friends. It's all generally harmless and I don't ... more
No. There are a small segment of the Child Free "Brat Free" people who DO these things.

Here, buzz around this board a little and see. link One of the worst at the moment is a thread called "Baby stalk, baby stalk its a wonder you can walk" I put a quote from this board, but it was so awful and the spelling and language was so bad, I deleted it. As a result of these few people, for many the term "Child Free" may have some negative connotations. Look at this board.

You'll vomit.

I know many Child Free people are NOT this way. And those people (like Chili, Tori and AndroAngel) don't have to give anyone an explanation about why they simply choose to not have kids! It's a choice, always was, but it's made easier with new technology.

My only issue is with the mean, child-hurting people like those on the board above. These people DO exist. I had my someone, while I was with my two girls and was pregnant with my youngest call me a "Breeder Bitch" in the grocery store. Nice. Huh?
10/17/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
No. There are a small segment of the Child Free "Brat Free" people who DO these things.

Here, buzz around this board a little and see. link One of the worst at the moment is a thread called "Baby stalk, baby stalk its a wonder ... more
Those people don't have the balls to say that shit to someone's face. Hence them taking to an internet forum where they can react and act within a mob mentality. I suspect the average age of that group is 19-21 years old.

People have opinions. Usually when opinions are espoused with hatred and anger, they come from a place of misinformation or ignorance. In either event, it's not worth reacting to in my opinion. Some people love nothing more than to spend their lives offending other people. It's their choice, certainly not the correct choice, but their choice nonetheless.
10/17/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Those people don't have the balls to say that shit to someone's face. Hence them taking to an internet forum where they can react and act within a mob mentality. I suspect the average age of that group is 19-21 years old.

People have ... more
Yeah, they are pretty angry. A woman I knew wrote an expose on them (the type on the boards, and some were all ages, some actually older people in their 50s and 60s) about 12 years ago. She found some very disturbing things. Battery and Assault charges on many of them etc. I've dealt with these people for most of my parenting experience, although most don't have the guts to actually say anything to someone in public (thus the viciousness on their little boards, and there at least 100 boards for these types that I can find on the net), a few do say things to parents, and a few even take action. It's one of the reasons the term "Child Free" sometimes causes looks from some.

I wish the mean ones would use an other word. They co-opted a word that should be able to be used by people who simply don't want children, but don't wish anyone any harm. But, the mean ones have taken the spot light and so the phrase strikes righteous indignation in the hearts of informed parents everywhere.
10/17/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I am childless by choice. My husband has an adult son from a previous marriage, and that's enough for him. He had a vasectomy many years ago. I don't hate children. I simply do not think I am cut out for parenthood. I don't have anything against people who choose to have children generally. The only time I get a little annoyed is when I am around children that are acting like little monsters, and the parents are taking no steps to stop the behavior.
10/17/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
I've seen a few other people around who've mentioned being childfree, but how many of us are there on here? I'd like to meet the other childfree individuals of EF. Please introduce yourselves and if you feel like it tell me a little about ... more
There's nothing wrong with having children if you want them. I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't mind having children of my own, but I'd also like to be a foster parent and I feel more passionately about that than having my own. There's so much abuse in that system and a child deserves a good, happy, stable home.

However, to each their own.
10/17/2011