The New Intimacy

Banning Children in Restaurants

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
AMEN!!!! My kids were usually well behaved in public when they were small, and if they weren't either My Man or I would try to remove them from the environment without causing more ruckus. The thing is, I've seen ADULTS behave badly in ... more
Children are not a protected class.
07/13/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Children are not a protected class.
If children shouldn't be protected, then no one should.
07/13/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
If children shouldn't be protected, then no one should.
Did I say children shouldn't be protected? No, I did not. I simply stated they are not a protected class by law.
07/13/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
Parents should have enough common courtesy and sense to take their child outside when he/she misbehaves , to say "we'll just take it to go", or better yet to not go out at all if they know their child has a disruptive personality. ... more
Quote: Teach them how to behave in the first place and it shouldn't be an issue

If it were only that easy. I don't raise my kids with FEAR as a discipline tactic. I figure it will save me a lot of trouble in the long run, and probably make my kids more adapted as adults to not be afraid of adults. Most of the time, when they were small they "behaved" (which, if you look at it, everyone has a different view of what this means) but sometimes they don't. They are still HUMAN. I chose not to hit, strike, hurt, main or THREATEN my children into submission. I got some good kids out of our tactics, which didn't involve harm or threats.

I was a perfect parent once....then I had kids....

You can't know until you have done it.
07/13/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Did I say children shouldn't be protected? No, I did not. I simply stated they are not a protected class by law.
Old people are? I wasn't aware of that.

There are special laws protecting children from certain things, different sentencing guidelines for crimes committed against children etc.

They sure as hell are protected as they damn well should be.

Children DO need to be protected. However, a healthy minded adult doesn't need to be "protected" from children. They need to learn TOLERANCE, rather than judging something they know nothing about.
07/13/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Old people are? I wasn't aware of that.

There are special laws protecting children from certain things, different sentencing guidelines for crimes committed against children etc.

They sure as hell are protected as they damn well ... more
Indeed, they are. Obviously, there are laws protecting the innocence and physical/emotional well-being of a child.

And while I appreciate your fervor and dedication to your passion, I would really appreciate it if you stop being so aggressive with me. I feel like in all of your responses to any of my comments you are essentially downplaying my opinion and I don't know if you just have a personal problem with me (if you do, I would happily work it out with you via private messages) or what but I just feel like you're yelling at me for no reason.
07/13/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Sorry, I don't mean to come off as aggressive. I did point out in my initial comment that it is a personal topic for me.

I also agreed that it in many cases it is the parent's neglect, but at the same time, I don't think it's ... more
I also agreed that it in many cases it is the parent's neglect, but at the same time, I don't think it's most cases even. I think that there are a lot of parents out there who have had their last nerve tread on hours before you encounter them and their ability to emotionally cope with the situation has been stomped into the ground.

Yep. Again, it comes down to the childless having NO idea what it means to parent. Nieces, nephews, occasionally seen step kids, neighbors kids, little sisters and brothers and "remembering" ones one childhood is NOT a reasonable substitute for actual parenting.

Sorry if I'm being "aggressive" too. But, to those of us who do have kids, this shit is a slap in the face, and from people who plead "Tolerance" for all other types of individuals.

It is making me really really sad.
07/13/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Y'know, I saw this very story as soon as I logged onto my News page this morning. I CHOSE not to post the story here (despite the fact that it turned my stomach and I wanted to talk to someone about it) because I had a feeling we'd see some very intolerant view towards are more precious and vulnerable citizens; children.

07/13/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Papershotglass
I salute you good madam for being so clever with handling your son's tantrums. I wish more people would handle it with such good humor and intelligence instead letting others know what a giant Sisyphean task they have and woe is me, etc. The ... more
Kids says the darndest-and-potential ly-taken-away-to-foste r-care things. My son was 2 or 3 at the time he said that stuff. He is 16 now. I have heard him tell his friends (within the last year) when they complain about the rules at their house or their parents, "You know, anywhere else is most likely gonna be way worse than what you think is bad now."
07/13/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
You said you worked at a grocery store and it made me think of this story from long ago.

When my son was 2-3 years old, I was practically a single mother (my husband was deployed for months on end) and we were newly stationed in a city far, ... more
Hahaha this reminds me of when my daughter was about 8. We were in Walmart and it was right after the woman made in on the news whipping her child in the Walmart parking lot. My daughter was showing her butt and I grabbed her hand and told my husband that I was taking her to the car and for him to finish shopping. Whereupon she screamed out "MOM, DON"T BEAT ME, THEY HAVE CAMERAS HERE!!!" Omg, I though I was going to die then and there.
07/13/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Quote: Teach them how to behave in the first place and it shouldn't be an issue

If it were only that easy. I don't raise my kids with FEAR as a discipline tactic. I figure it will save me a lot of trouble in the long run, and probably ... more
I love that...I was the perfect parent once...then I had kids!
07/13/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
I really dislike noisy kids, but I think it should be handled on an individual basis rather than a sweeping ban on ALL children.
07/13/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
I really dislike noisy kids, but I think it should be handled on an individual basis rather than a sweeping ban on ALL children.
Hell, I'm a parent and I don't like noisy kids. No one LIKES noisy kids.
07/13/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Hell, I'm a parent and I don't like noisy kids. No one LIKES noisy kids.
I guess I should have said "I really dislike kids", but I was trying to seem like less of a "not nice person".
07/13/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Did I say children shouldn't be protected? No, I did not. I simply stated they are not a protected class by law.
actually they are, age discrimination knows no minimum or maximum age
07/13/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
I love that...I was the perfect parent once...then I had kids!
totally, I was supermom before I had my son lol having any child kicks you in the butt but having a special needs child knocks that ego of perfection right out of you. My kid was NEVER going to eat that horrible processed baby food or be on *gasp* formula! ..... without medically needed formula he wouldn't be alive right now, it is the only thing sustaining him nutritionally right now.
07/13/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Hell, I'm a parent and I don't like noisy kids. No one LIKES noisy kids.
I wish for the days when my son didn't talk yet, since he began communicating I can't get him to shut up lol it is non stop chatter from his room talking to himself and his toys, then he comes out to tell us EVERYTHING! and you have to pay attention because he still has issues with not talking in almost gibberish because of his delays. Like as I type this, I'm being told all about how hes "playing westwing (wrestling) with magic friend (imaginary) but its ok cause magic friend has a helmet"
07/13/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
Hahaha this reminds me of when my daughter was about 8. We were in Walmart and it was right after the woman made in on the news whipping her child in the Walmart parking lot. My daughter was showing her butt and I grabbed her hand and told my husband ... more
I feel you! I see kids pull that crap now and just shake my head and smile real big at mom or dad, and say something quietly like, "Been there."
07/13/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
I think that private business's should be able to ban any one they want. That should be their right as the owner of said business. Kids not behaving and disrupting other customers dinner is not different then someone coming in topless, or going to a fine dinning restaurant dressed as a clown.

I am a father of 2 young boys. I did not take them out very often when they where babies, and when I did I made sure they where fed and changed. Wanted them as happy as could be. Now that they are older (7 and 4), they know that if they don't behave themselves, that they would be taken out to the car and spanked. I have had very little trouble with them because I have taken the time to be a dad. I raise my kids so that they are not going to grow up to be a waste of oxygen or living in a gated community. That is something that is missing in the country.
07/13/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
It's discrimination, plain and simple. I am admittedly a parent, but I believe I would have the same opinion if I weren't. You are attributing poor restaurant behavior to all children, which is neither fair nor true. The problem is that ... more
I totally agree about it being discrimination, it's totally dehumanization of children as far as I'm concerned.
07/14/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Quote: Teach them how to behave in the first place and it shouldn't be an issue

If it were only that easy. I don't raise my kids with FEAR as a discipline tactic. I figure it will save me a lot of trouble in the long run, and probably ... more
I love you for saying this. <3 Totally when children behave due to fear of parental retaliation they will not be intrinsically motivated to behave when a parent is not there to be a witness.
07/14/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Simpler solution: let the parents with the kids in. If the child causes a scene, runs around, screams or causes too much noise, ask them to leave. It's that simple.

My friend who is a mom agrees. There is no way in hell she would allow her child to scream in a restaurant that isn't meant for children. She can't stand parents who allow that. And her child is very loud. VERY. She screams constantly and yells, and throws things. She has bipolar disorder and is only a toddler, and is already showing severe signs of moodswings. That being said, she says that parents who make up excuses for their misbehaving child aren't parents at all.

At a restaurant fairly recently, was the first time I've been so angry with a parent that I've LOUDLY complained to them. The issue was, these two women, one was clearly the mother and grandmother, brought a child into the restaurant and ignored his SCREAMING and CRYING while they had cell phones glued to their ears and eating, not bothering to feed him the whole time. Never tried to shush him. It was like he didn't exist to them. I had a migraine, and it ruined our dinner and everyone was glaring. I went into full bitch mode because of my migraine and the fact that I had to drive home. So I screamed at them "I'm sorry but was figuring out how to put on the damn condom as fucking hard for you as it is to act like a parent and take care of your fucking child?!" I mean I got IN THEIR FACE. It wasn't JUST the fact that the kid was screaming at the top of his lungs non-stop for a good 20 minutes prior to my blowup, or the fact that my migraine was causing me to become dizzy and not be able to see straight, or even the fact that we had wasted $50 on a dinner we weren't able to eat...

It was the fact that they didn't look at, talk to, or touch this kid crying his eyes out ONCE the whole time they were there until I said something...

People actually cheered when I told her off...and finally she got a damned clue and fed the kid his bottle.

Now that the little example of the worst parenting jobs in the history of mankind is over, I feel that for some it is unfair to ban children but what those who are defensive need to realize is that not all parents are good parent nor do they all care. A child screaming in any restaurant and fucking up your meal can make or break whether you will ever go to again or recommend a place, and they need money. Business. And a whole lot of parents would LOVE to go to a place without screaming kids.

I do, however, feel that "volume control" would be best. That would allow people to go places with their kids but force them to find ways to keep them quiet.
10/21/2011