The New Intimacy

Are you IN LOVE?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Our little Friday Dinner Group can discuss ANYTHING with great honesty, ease and comfort. Politics, Sex, you name it. However, THIS topic had folks squirming....no kidding.

ARE YOU "IN LOVE"?

Sure, we automatically say we LOVE our significant other, or those close to us, but isn't it sometimes "comfort", or "familiarity" or just that we love BEING "in love" but are not really IN LOVE with that specific person? Is it that we end up in relationships where MAYBE we did LOVE that person, but now...well, "not so much", even if it is still a "loving" relationship. In short, it is not that real, warm fuzzy IM IN LOVE feeling. Not IN LUST either, but real, deep LOVE.

SO...the touchy question that we all dealt with...and THINK HARD before answering. Be honest (It is private)...IF you are in a relationship (obviously PLEASE don't answer this one if there is no one you COULD be "in love with right now") ARE YOU REALLY "IN LOVE"???
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'm in a relationship and am certainly IN LOVE.
68
I'm in a relationship and even though I do LOVE them...I am not "IN LOVE".
6
I'm in a relationship, and happy with it, but not really IN LOVE.
1
I'm in a relationship and not happy OR IN LOVE.
3
OTHER??????
12
Total votes: 90 (89 voters)
Poll is closed
11/14/2011
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Contributor: Carlsdaman Carlsdaman
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Our little Friday Dinner Group can discuss ANYTHING with great honesty, ease and comfort. Politics, Sex, you name it. However, THIS topic had folks squirming....no kidding.

ARE YOU "IN LOVE"?

Sure, we automatically say we ... more
Yes, Yes I am
11/14/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I'm in love, yes.
11/14/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I am very much in love, and I enjoy every moment of it!
11/14/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I loved him very much before we officially met in person (we met online and were texting for a while) but I think I was in love with him within a week of meeting him which was shocking for me, because usually it takes a lot longer for me to grow attached to someone.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
I can honestly say that we were in love, and then we went through a phase where even though we loved each other, we didn't like each other very much. But things have come around full circle, and I think our relationship is better than ever now.
11/15/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'm most definitely in love. Also, with all due respect, I question your definition of love. I don't believe for a moment that the "fireworks and exciting every moment" feeling someone has early in a relationship is love, that's infatuation. Love needs to grow and be tended, like a garden, it doesn't burn out of control like an inferno.
11/15/2011
Contributor: TheSlyFox TheSlyFox
I am for sure in Love.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Absolutely in love
11/15/2011
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
I'm most definitely in love. Also, with all due respect, I question your definition of love. I don't believe for a moment that the "fireworks and exciting every moment" feeling someone has early in a relationship is love, that's ... more
I agree with you 100%! I am deeply in love with my hubby, and that 'fireworks' feeling has nothing to do with real, lasting and fuzzy-feeling love.
We have been together for over 8 years now...
11/15/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
I'm not in a relationship, but I am in love.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
I certainly am in love with my girl.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Art & Sensation Art & Sensation
I agree with what AndroAngel and Destri have mentioned above. What I've felt at the beginning of our relationship (and truthfully, more than half a year to maybe even a year after that) isn't really essentially love. I am very much still in love with my partner, even though it isn't as exciting, new or bewildering as first.

Though I must say.. even in YOUR definition of love, I sometimes still feel that way. I cannot say that my love for my partner has withered, it was only strengthened.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
I am very much in love with my partner. Love isn't always easy, but I am throughly in love.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I loved him very much before we officially met in person (we met online and were texting for a while) but I think I was in love with him within a week of meeting him which was shocking for me, because usually it takes a lot longer for me to grow ... more
Amazing testament to online dating.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Art & Sensation
I agree with what AndroAngel and Destri have mentioned above. What I've felt at the beginning of our relationship (and truthfully, more than half a year to maybe even a year after that) isn't really essentially love. I am very much still in ... more
I ask this based on a certain knowledge of neuro-chemistry. Recent studies have specifically shown that over the course of a relationship, the chemical mediators in the brain CHANGE. The "smitten, hot hornies" of a "met the girl or guy of my dreams" NEVER...EVER..chemical ly, stays that same way. It just does not.

I am not saying that that first rush of amazing IM IN LOVE, cannot last, but it has to come from a "different place", mentally, as well as physically.

That is why I was wondering how people would respond.

If you re-read my question, you will see I BOLDED the "IN LOVE", but did NOT define it. I left that up to everyone to fill in what it really meant in THEIR heart and mind.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I'm not in a relationship, but I am in love.
???? With WHO then?
11/15/2011
Contributor: Lornoria Mirid Lornoria Mirid
My first love was love at first sight and though I still love who he once was it was never met to be. My soulmate is the one I am with now he stopped me from committing suicide when my first love told me I was worthless and horrible to put it politely. I am now happy and in a much more healthy relationship and I intend to be until the day my soul dissolves into a puddle of ethereal goo.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
Completely in love
11/16/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
I love my husband very much. I do think my actual soulmate is someone else though, just it did not work out that way, because we are out of touch, but when we are in touch, our feelings are always there. I love her very much, but I love my husband also.
11/16/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
Definitely in love with the one who's definitely my perfect match.
11/16/2011
Contributor: SelectZen SelectZen
Most certainly in a relationship and crazy in love.
11/16/2011
Contributor: SweetieLuv SweetieLuv
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I'm in love, yes.
me too
12/15/2011
Contributor: SweetieLuv SweetieLuv
im super in love
12/15/2011
Contributor: badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Our little Friday Dinner Group can discuss ANYTHING with great honesty, ease and comfort. Politics, Sex, you name it. However, THIS topic had folks squirming....no kidding.

ARE YOU "IN LOVE"?

Sure, we automatically say we ... more
I like to think I am, for sure.
12/15/2011
Contributor: Moein Moein
I think every one must be in love for any one else, it is our nature to feel love for others. But some people miss the courage to announce this feeling or afraid to show it.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
To a ridiculously giddy point.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Rod Martini Rod Martini
You start to figure out the difference between love and infatuation after you've been together for about 4 or 5 years. Real love is staying in the spoons position after your small spoon farts in your crotch.
12/27/2011
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'm in love!
12/27/2011
Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Our little Friday Dinner Group can discuss ANYTHING with great honesty, ease and comfort. Politics, Sex, you name it. However, THIS topic had folks squirming....no kidding.

ARE YOU "IN LOVE"?

Sure, we automatically say we ... more
I am in love with my Master
12/27/2011