The New Intimacy

What are your experiences with the word "tranny"?

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Alright, it looks like there is some confusion here. So, let's get this cleared up, shall we?

First - No one dictates where or when or how a user posts on the forum, except for the administrators of Edenfantasys.

Second - If you cannot debate a topic with grace and kindness instead of anger, then we simply ask that you do not participate at all.

Third - This is a discussion about whether a word is offensive; it has been turned into a discussion of privilege. Let's stay on topic.

As adults, I would expect we could reserve our anger and see the teaching moments in this thread and spend the time making logical, reasonable arguments instead of personally attacking or bullying people into withholding their opinion just because it happens to be an opinion you disagree with. That's not how we do things at Eden. Please, be kind and respectful toward one another.

If have to do so, I will close this thread. I would really rather not have to do that and I think you are all more than capable of handling this in a rational and friendly manner. I would sincerely appreciate it if you would at least try, anyway.
10/26/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Gracefire
Honestly, I am just going to put this out there - if you are a cis person, you get ZERO say in this discussion. ZERO. This is not a slur that is used against you.

So, please, go to every other forum or subforum that is dedicated to you and ... more
Actually I am a CIS woman and perfectly confident in my femininity. I look to these forums for clues on how to interact with my fellow humans since I believe that respect begins at home. Do you WANT me to be clueless that certain words hurt or are disrespectful? If your aim is education then educate me but don't say I have no place in your discussion.
I, honestly, had no idea that "tranny" was a trigger word or that it was disrespectful. In my defense I always ask anyone I meet what they prefer to be called since I do respect that gender isn't what you wear on the outside of your body. I learned that from the transgendered community here on EF.
If I must be respectful and kind to the monogamous folks who feel like they have every right to tell me, over and over, how BLISSFULLY HAPPY they are with their one and only lover, then you have to be polite and listen to me speak my mind even if I am only CIS. If you want respect you gotta be willing to give it first. That's how respect works.
10/26/2012
Contributor: Gracefire Gracefire
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Actually I am a CIS woman and perfectly confident in my femininity. I look to these forums for clues on how to interact with my fellow humans since I believe that respect begins at home. Do you WANT me to be clueless that certain words hurt or are ... more
No, I do not want anyone to be "clueless". Feel free to participate, listen, learn, and ask questions - those are all good things! However, there were several cis people on this thread that stated they did not find the t-word offensive. Which is rather disingenuous and puzzling, as they are not under the threat of having that term used against them, nor the violence associated with that term.

[Trigger warning for rape in this paragraph] To put it in perspective, I am a survivor of sexual assault. I have many friends who are not. I have requested that, around me, they not make statements such as "I raped that video game!" or "I am getting raped by my bills this month!" as I find them deeply offensive and triggering. Do I sometimes make light of the abuse I suffered? Yes. But that is my right, as they are my experiences and I am allowed to deal with them in the ways I see fit.

Same with this word. I find it telling that no trans* woman (the group that is most targeted by the t-slur) has checked the "I'm a trans woman and use the word tr***y". If the people targeted most by this slur won't even use it, then I feel it's not something other trans* folks - and certainly not cis folks - should even consider acceptable.
10/26/2012
Contributor: Xarien Xarien
Quote:
Originally posted by Gracefire
No, I do not want anyone to be "clueless". Feel free to participate, listen, learn, and ask questions - those are all good things! However, there were several cis people on this thread that stated they did not find the t-word offensive. ... more
" Yes. But that is my right, as they are my experiences and I am allowed to deal with them in the ways I see fit. "

And as a CIS person and you saying I don't have any experience with the word via friends? Just because you identify more closely with a word doesn't mean you own exclusive rights to it and can suddenly dictate who can/can't say it or in this case...Who can form an opinion about it.

I would think if you truly wanted to understand something and not just piss and moan about all the woes you have, you would want both sides of the discussion to actively participate. Instead you only want your voice to be heard because you feel if someone isn't trans*, their voice on ANYTHING trans* related doesn't matter.
10/26/2012
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I'm cis, and I agree that I have no say in whether or not the word is offensive, but I don't use it because I've been told that it is a slur, so I prefer to play on the safe side.
12/12/2012
Contributor: Mediumsizedman Mediumsizedman
I don't think that trans men can reclaim it, even if they have had it used against them, because it is historically a word used against trans women. I personally do not even feel comfortable with trans women using the word, but it's their right to do so if they want to reclaim it.
12/13/2012
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
I am a transman and I would use the word ONLY in a porn context, as in 'looking for Tranny cops video by ____ company'. I would never direct it at a person whether in real life or online or otherwise unless I was specifically referring to a porn genre. Just like I would say Milf porn (which I do not watch) but would never CALL or THINK OF a woman as a milf. Weird logic, I know but that's how it is.

On the other hand I do consider myself a c**tboy, and do consider that a positive term whether used in porn or out.

I think that the word tranny could be reclaimed and believe it or not the word Fag is being reclaimed by some, especially in the furry community. I know this is probably met with a lot of discomfort by some but then there are some who prefer we take those words back and have them mean the same thing, but in a non-offensive way.
01/06/2013
Contributor: Boyqueen Boyqueen
Tends to make me uncomfortable.
01/09/2013
Contributor: Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
I'm a cisfemale but the word "tranny" or even "transvestite" makes me really uncomfortable and angry, even if it doesn't personally offend me. People who use that word to describe trans* individuals sound really ignorant and uneducated. I've actually stopped someone in the middle of a presentation on the Fa'afafine of Samoa since they were referring to them as a "tranny" or "hermaphrodite" population. I told them that language is considered offensive and they shouldn't use that term, especially in an academic presentation in a Women's Studies course.
02/08/2013
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Youssii
There's a lot of debate about whether tranny is offensive, should be reclaimed, can be used by FAAB trans people etc.
How do you feel about it?
I'm trans and have heard tranny used in a derogatory way. I really hate it when this happens.
02/08/2013
Contributor: queerflower queerflower
im faab so i think my opinion matters less than a maab because primarily it is used against trans* women and female-presenting people. i dont think faab people should use it, but it is more ok for maab people to use it, though it still makes me uncomfortable. im not sure if at this point reclaiming is possible.
02/08/2013
Contributor: damnbul12 damnbul12
Quote:
Originally posted by Youssii
There's a lot of debate about whether tranny is offensive, should be reclaimed, can be used by FAAB trans people etc.
How do you feel about it?
not trans
02/15/2013
Contributor: mdnght mdnght
I'm cis, and I used to use it before I knew better...
02/15/2013
Contributor: SelectZen SelectZen
I'm not trans but I've heard tranny be used as an offensive term alot where I live.
04/22/2013
Contributor: treehugger treehugger
Yay for nonbinary inclusion! But yeah, my take on it is this slur can only be reclaimed by the group it has been used against, which is almost solely trans* women.
04/22/2013
Contributor: alextge alextge
Quote:
Originally posted by Youssii
There's a lot of debate about whether tranny is offensive, should be reclaimed, can be used by FAAB trans people etc.
How do you feel about it?
As with all words, I have no problem with it as long as it's not used in a hurtful context
05/11/2013