Should we marry illegally or wait?

Contributor: babyninz babyninz
Quote:
Originally posted by xi
Living in Arkansas, I cannot marry my fiance because (of course) gay and lesbian marriage is not legal. However, we can have a civil ceremony performed, it just won't be state recognized. I'm wondering if we should just go ahead and have the ... more
do it!
10/18/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
I would go ahead and have the ceremony now.
10/18/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
It's so sad that so many states still don't recognize gay/lesbian marriage as a marriage! Honestly, I'd just go ahead and have the ceremony and such now. What my guy and I had decided even though legally we'd have no issues was to have a ceremony and not sign the documentation because he still has issues from being hurt previously and so we'd decided to have me change my last name through the court system, have a party wedding dress and all, and it would be just like a wedding but without the paperwork.

I didn't mind this idea at all, because I feel marriage is over rated, I've been there done that, have the divorce papers to prove it, etc, etc, and the meaning BEHIND the wedding is what counts in my opinion!

So if you're ready, do it now! Who cares what the state thinks. They're a bunch of wackos anyway
10/18/2011
Contributor: Rhazya Rhazya
You need to ask yourself which is more important to you right now: A piece of paper that may not be giving you the same rights and benefits that married couple share, or a ceremony with your friends and family that "publically"(SP) recognizes your love.

If the benefits and having it be legal are more important either wait until it is legal unless you are willing to travel to a state that recognizes it now.

If it's having friends/family being able to celebrate your love with you, do it now.
10/18/2011
Contributor: emilia emilia
Do it now and so it later legally
10/22/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
If it were me I'd probably go ahead and have a ceremony at home with your community, then go on a honeymoon to California or somewhere and do the legal documents there.

I say that not knowing much about getting married legally in the US
10/22/2011
Contributor: allybee allybee
now!!! congrats
10/22/2011
Contributor: TheSlyFox TheSlyFox
I say Go ahead and have the ceremony now. (:
10/25/2011
Contributor: Tangerine Tangerine
I feel like most couples dont take the civil unions as serious as marriage. I have known several couples who have had several of these. I personally would wait until it's legal and recognized, If your relationship is set in marriage mode I dont think it will matter if you have to wait for it to be legal. (unless of course you have alot of fancy friends that are just dying to but you super awesome wedding gifts right now)lol
01/10/2012
Contributor: jessi2 jessi2
celebrate your love with your friends and family. Make it real for you and your families and you will be happier in the long run!
01/31/2012
Contributor: Kabachu Kabachu
have the ceremony performed now
01/31/2012
Contributor: LoveDove LoveDove
Well, I'd say that I think you're allowed to have the civil ceremony if it's something important to you - a commitment to each other. But if you'd want to take a few days and do a wedding/honeymoon in say, New York, that's another viable option. I guess the only thing is that you might want to have your family/friends around you at the time of the ceremony, and if you do it in NY or somewhere where gay/lesbian marriage is legal, they may not all be able to attend.

Either way - congrats!
01/31/2012
Contributor: Modern^Spank^Anthem Modern^Spank^Anthem
have the ceremony
01/31/2012
Contributor: ginainohio ginainohio
wait till its legal
08/10/2012
Contributor: Lori Gonzales Lori Gonzales
do what u feel is best
10/10/2012
Contributor: marshmallow marshmallow
now!
10/19/2012
Contributor: Jaxxie Lifeless Jaxxie Lifeless
do what YOU want. fuck the law
10/20/2012
Contributor: PrincessYagami PrincessYagami
It will be legal for everyone someday soon.
11/07/2012
Contributor: katat katat
go for it
01/31/2013