I squirt off and on. After a situation where I hadn't in a while and forgot the difference in sensations between pee and squirting I was too scared to try again.

For mess clean ups I use chucks, the things that are basically dog training pads that they also use in hospitals. My SO and I use them, ironically, for water sports. They are very absorbent and you can throw them away without worrying about doing laundry right after.

My main problem is I miss doing it and my SO finds it hot. I'm too afraid to try and pee again. I just want to know the difference in feelings between the two.

There are some anatomical factors at play here - for example, a woman whose urethral opening is too close to her vagina may have trouble ejaculating and may "gush" or have retrograde ejaculation instead.

i think its possible

I hope to one day have not done it yet need some info on it so I can learn to