The New Intimacy

Thing you were told as a child that we just WRONG (in a funny way).

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Contributor: purplekidney purplekidney
He: My mom is convinced that having a cell phone in your pocket will cause a guy to be sterile. In short, radio waves wreck up your junk.

She: When I was young enough to shower with my parents still, I pointed once at my dad's penis and asked when I'd get one. He said "When you're 18." We never took showers together after that, I waited for my penis to grow, and eventually had sex for the first time when I was 18.
04/09/2011
Contributor: Daniel & Brittany Daniel & Brittany
Quote:
Originally posted by purplekidney
He: My mom is convinced that having a cell phone in your pocket will cause a guy to be sterile. In short, radio waves wreck up your junk.



She: When I was young enough to shower with my parents still, I pointed once at my dad's ... more
I've heard the cell phone one before, and the other comment reminds me of that joke with the little girl asking the little boy if she "can play with that too" and he says "NO you played with yours til it fell off!"
04/09/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by purplekidney
He: My mom is convinced that having a cell phone in your pocket will cause a guy to be sterile. In short, radio waves wreck up your junk.



She: When I was young enough to shower with my parents still, I pointed once at my dad's ... more
Awww that second story is kinda adorable. I love it!
04/09/2011
Contributor: Karakaten Karakaten
At age 4, my older brothers told me that my new pet rabbit pooped chocolate eggs. I still remembering the shudder when I tasted one and found out they lied.
Thinking about it, that's probably why I dislike dark chocolate.

A neighbor friend and I (age 7 or so) also planted a bagful of skittles in my mother's garden one year, hoping to grow one of those skittle-bearing trees from the commercial.
04/16/2011
Contributor: Daniel & Brittany Daniel & Brittany
Quote:
Originally posted by Karakaten
At age 4, my older brothers told me that my new pet rabbit pooped chocolate eggs. I still remembering the shudder when I tasted one and found out they lied.

Thinking about it, that's probably why I dislike dark chocolate.



A ... more
thats just good tv
04/22/2011
Contributor: missdizzy missdizzy
My grandfather used to tell me if I swallowed watermelon seeds, watermelons would grow out of my ears.
05/02/2011
Contributor: Maeby Maeby
When I was in elementary school, a classmate announced, "If a man sticks it too far in a woman, it comes out her mouth." I don't know how many fantastic anatomical feats that would take...
05/12/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by Ellie B
When I was a child, my grandmother used to tell me not to sit on public toilet seats because I would get herpes. I believed her for many, many years. Now I just don't sit on public seats to strengthen my leg muscles.

Another good one was ... more
Parents choose the sexes of their children by either letting the hair grow long (girls) or cutting it short (boys).
05/29/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i was told that if i sit on a public toilet seat, i would get diseases that would render me infertile (thanks, mom).

i was also told that if i left my closet open at night, i would be inviting ghosts and nightmares in.
06/13/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
I want to drink food colouring so that I WILL. I might have to resort to eating beets though, I don't think food coloring is healthy, especially not in large quantities.

I was once told that if I kept chewing on my hair I would end up ... more
That hairball thing actually CAN happen, but you have to chew/eat a shitload of hair on a near-constant basis, and it'll likely stay in your stomach rather than get coughed up. I think snopes or some similar site had an article on it. It was pretty gross.
06/16/2011
Contributor: CherryDyke CherryDyke
haha, oh grandmas. I'm kind of sad I don't have any of these great stories.
09/06/2011
Contributor: ChaosBunny ChaosBunny
When I was little I would play Nintendo all the time (still do today but not as much) and when I stopped playing and immediately washed my hands, my mom would come in and tell me I'll get arthritis because I didn't wait long enough for my hands to settle down or something. XD
09/10/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
My mom once told me that if I tilted my head to the side, it would get stuck like that. I hate tilting my head still.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
My parents told me that coffee would stunt my growth as well, because I always wanted to drink coffee with the grown ups.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Ellie B
When I was a child, my grandmother used to tell me not to sit on public toilet seats because I would get herpes. I believed her for many, many years. Now I just don't sit on public seats to strengthen my leg muscles.

Another good one was ... more
Maybe she was trying to prevent a yeast infection? I know that myself, my sisters and my mother are all prone to yeast infections. As a kid my mother would tell us not to wear underwear under our pajamas for that reason. Of course, that's a little different than saying it causes infertility...lol. Oh parents...

Also, yes! It drives me crazy that people don't think it's safe to sit on toilet seats! It's not safe to touch them with your HANDS, and you don't want your genitals themselves to come in contact with them because of the bacteria on them, but it's fine to SIT on them! Such a pet peeve of mine, not sure why.
09/13/2011
Contributor: SilverIsis SilverIsis
Quote:
Originally posted by Yoda
I wouldn't call that toilet seat one bad advice. You may not get herpes from one, but there are other annoying things out there to catch.
to be honest, there are less germs on a public toilet then there are on the door handle. It really is not as bad as people think.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I remember hearing that as a kid too.

As well as: Eating chocolate or pizza gives you pimples, that different dreams mean different things "will happen to you", that going outside without a coat will make you sick, that walking ... more
Pinworms would be MIGHTY hard to get from walking barefoot, but other kinds of roundworm can be caught by walking barefoot! They aren't very common in this part of the world though...

I did catch a ringworm on my foot once from being barefoot! I didn't know it was a fungus and it really upset me as a kid to think of a worm being in my foot!
09/13/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I remember being told that if you squish a spider it would rain. And I remember accusing my brother of squishing a spider because it was raining a day I wanted it to not be, lol
THIS is SO freaking cute. Cutest lie to tell kids ever lol.
09/13/2011
Contributor: SilverIsis SilverIsis
I wish that mine was as funny as everyone elses, but the only odd advice I remember getting as a child is my Grandfather always telling me, my sister and my cousin that "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is to fall in love with a poor one."
09/13/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
My dad used to tell me when I was 10 or so and so proud of my little training bra, that if I wore it to sleep in, my boobs wouldn't grow. Now while that's a popular myth, my reaction was the funny part. I didn't WANT my boobs to grow, ... more
I heard this too!! I also heard that if you sleep on your stomach at night, your boobs will shrink! I was always a stomach sleeper, but I tried so hard to switch to my back after that - I had just grown boobs and I didn't want to lose them.
09/20/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Crusts will make ya hair curly. But it back fired cause I never wanted curly hair!

Carrot will make ya see in the dark.

Also the - don't fall faces or the wind will change and you'll stay that way.
09/20/2011
Contributor: KittenPrincess KittenPrincess
Let's see...

Chewing your hair or eating raw potatoes will give you worms.
Don't cook with milk on your period, or it will curdle (wtf??)
Thunder is the angels in heaven bowling.
Biting your nails will make your fingers fall off.

I'm ashamed to admit that some of these didn't strike me as bullshit until this past year, lol. I guess you get told something so many times as a child that you just start to accept it as true, and forget how you "know" about it.
09/22/2011
Contributor: JRabbits JRabbits
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
My dad used to tell me when I was 10 or so and so proud of my little training bra, that if I wore it to sleep in, my boobs wouldn't grow. Now while that's a popular myth, my reaction was the funny part. I didn't WANT my boobs to grow, ... more
LOL!!! My sister told me if I rubbed butter on my breast every night before going to bed it would make my boobs grow. Seeing I'm a 34B that was clearly a lie.
09/22/2011
Contributor: JRabbits JRabbits
One of my brothers told me when we were younger that if I ever masturbated I'd die, because masturbating killed people. I think this was after our uncle told my brothers that if he ever masturbated their pecker would fall off and they'd be girls.

My mom also had me convinced when I was like 6 that babies came out of our belly buttons, and so I rushed to tell my brothers this so I'd be considered cool for knowing something about adults. Yeah. . . they just laughed at me and called me stupid. "It comes from down there stupid!" Thanks mom! you made me the joke along as the runt of the family!
09/22/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
When I was five, my mum told me that heaven only seats 500, so I would be going to hell by default.
09/22/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Errant Venture
When I was five, my mum told me that heaven only seats 500, so I would be going to hell by default.
... That's just messed up. I suppose she was fine with going to hell by default, by her own logic? The things adults come up with.
09/22/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Someone told me that cracking your knuckles will cause you have ugly, witchy-looking hands. That's silly.

My mom told me that her mother wouldn't allow her to take a bath while on her period. Her mother actually believed that a woman could become seriously ill if she submerged herself in water while menstruating. She used to make my mom take sponge baths. My mom hated it, because she didn't feel clean and she wanted to soak her crampy, tired muscles in the bath. She would sneak into the bath after her mother went to sleep. Her mother caught her, and when my mother didn't get sick and die, she realized she was mistaken in her belief.
09/23/2011
Contributor: JessCee JessCee
When I was younger my mom told me if you open an umbrella indoors someone would die... basically it was bad luck. It seems really silly typing it out like that, but I really have a problem seeing people who open them indoors even now!
09/23/2011
Contributor: emilia emilia
Quote:
Originally posted by Karakaten
At age 4, my older brothers told me that my new pet rabbit pooped chocolate eggs. I still remembering the shudder when I tasted one and found out they lied.

Thinking about it, that's probably why I dislike dark chocolate.



A ... more
That is so funny
10/09/2011
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I remember hearing that as a kid too.

As well as: Eating chocolate or pizza gives you pimples, that different dreams mean different things "will happen to you", that going outside without a coat will make you sick, that walking ... more
Well, going barefoot CAN get you hookworms, but pinworms make NO sense.
10/09/2011