The New Intimacy

What is cheating?

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Contributor: InnocentISwear InnocentISwear
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
i did not vote i simply think cheating is what two people establish it to be. some people have open marriages and sleep with many other people that is not cheating so simply saying any sexual contact would not work. as for emotional connections we ... more
I agree. The defination of what is and isn't okay has been different in every relationship I've been in. What makes it cheating is when you go against what you and your partner have agreed on.
12/30/2011
Contributor: Entropy Entropy
My definition: physical contact or emotional longing for another person.
04/17/2012
Contributor: BabyCheeks BabyCheeks
Emotional connection counts...for example Sex and the City 2. Carrie and Aidan.
04/17/2012
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Is it feels like cheating then it's cheating. The criteria is different for everybody.
04/17/2012
Contributor: Terri69 Terri69
I do believe emotional counts
04/18/2012
Contributor: Llahsram Llahsram
Cheating is whatever two (or more) people in a relationship agree that it is.
04/18/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I agree with this. Depends on how deep the connection is and how the people involved feel about it.
I personally would be able to forgive my partner if it were just sex. Like go to the bar pick up a woman, hotel room, cannot even remember her name type thing. That I could forgive with time.

But... an emotional connection? That I would have some serious issues with. This is one of the reasons I caution people with online relationships. It is much easier to develop an emotional connection and to me that is a far worse kind of cheating than a physical one.

For me, BOTH physical and emotional are cheating. It is not an either or situation. It is which can you live with? Deal with? handle? And how does one communicate this with their partner to explain it?
04/18/2012
Contributor: Bex1331 Bex1331
I think anything that you wouldn't be comfortable doing in front of your partner or with your partner knowing is dishonest, it depends on the relationship though
04/18/2012
Contributor: Incendiaire Incendiaire
I believe that cheating is whenever you do something with another person, which you know would hurt your partner, and yet you disregard their feelings completely and do it anyway.
04/18/2012
Contributor: ninja250 ninja250
I think it can be both anything sexual and depending on the situation an emotional connection could be cheating aswell.
04/18/2012
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by lzbncrckhead
i was wondering what you define as cheating
Both is cheating to me
05/11/2012
Contributor: BG529 BG529
BOTH
05/11/2012
Contributor: 31 Flavors 31 Flavors
If you are hiding it from you S.O., then it's wrong.
05/11/2012
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
I think this poll needs an "other" option. Having sex with someone else isn't always cheating. Personally, I had a deal with my ex-partner that he could sleep with whomever he wanted as long as he used protection and I never had to hear about it. For me, my partner forming an emotional, romantic connection to someone else would be more threatening than having a sexual encounter with someone else.
02/01/2013
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by lzbncrckhead
i was wondering what you define as cheating
any sexual contact with someone other than partner
02/01/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
An emotional connection is involuntary, but if you act on it then it I consider it cheating. However any sexual contact is definitely cheating! I feel that with emotional connections, trying to deepen the bond in any way that removes you from your ... more
I fully agree with this one!
02/01/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by lzbncrckhead
i was wondering what you define as cheating
I'd like to claim the Other option.

I think there is emotional cheating and there is physical cheating.

If you start to have real, solid feelings for another person, then I think that can be considered a level of cheating. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think it can be a more wounding kind of cheating.

But any kind of physical contact with another that you would normally only share with your partner is cheating. This does NOT including hugging or cuddling. But it includes mouth kisses or anything sexual.
02/01/2013
Contributor: KayYJelly KayYJelly
Honestly I think it depends on the relationship.

I know couples who can do anything but penetrative sex, couples who can do anything as long as there's no emotional attachment, and then couples like me and my boyfriend where I'm uncomfortable with him looking at other girls but he doesn't care what I do as long as there's no touching or emotional attachment involved.

Communication is the important part, because once you talk out with your partner what you are and aren't comfortable with, then you know where you both stand and what definitely is cheating and unacceptable and what is perfectly fine. It should depend on how you and your partner feel.
02/01/2013
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
Cheating is whatever you and your partner(s) agree is cheating.
02/01/2013
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
any sexual contact with someone other than partner
02/01/2013
Contributor: Lea Ann Pruitt Lea Ann Pruitt
cheating is wrong!!!!
02/01/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
Very difficult question, but I do think you can cheat without having sexual contact if you are scheming to find away to turn your so called relationship with the other person into a reality.

Example: You get caught in a compromising situation before sex could occur. Bayou didn't have sex with another person, but the intent was there.
02/03/2013
Contributor: chelly411 chelly411
I think cheating is more than just sexual.
02/03/2013
Contributor: palindromic palindromic
The specifics of cheating depends on the bounds of your relationship, since it makes the most sense to define it as "violating the terms of the relationship". You and your partner have to be entirely clear about what those boundaries are - there are varying levels of monogamy, polyamory, and so on that can exist in relationships. Clarity is key.
02/03/2013
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by lzbncrckhead
i was wondering what you define as cheating
any sexual contact with someone other than partner
02/03/2013
Contributor: twelve13 twelve13
I think that whatever is agreed upon between/among partners is considered cheating. That might vary significantly form relationship to relationship. In the terms of my non-open relationships, both sexual and emotional cheating count.
02/19/2013
Contributor: Kirill1171 Kirill1171
any sexual contact with someone other than partner
02/20/2013
Contributor: Toy Fiend Toy Fiend
Quote:
Originally posted by LilLostLenore
any sexual contact with someone other than partner that the partner does not know about and agree on.
Agreed. This is my arrangement now and it works just fine as long as everyone is informed.
02/20/2013
Contributor: noway noway
If you think you are doing something wrong, you probably are.
02/20/2013