The New Intimacy

Sexual experience and expectations

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Contributor: eri86 eri86
No matter how good the sex is, is there anyone who's general sexual experience still hasn't quite met what they thought sex in general would be like?

These days with books, movies and everything it seems like a possibility.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Sex exceeded my expectations
28  (50%)
Sex met my expectations
14  (25%)
Sex hasn't met my expectations yet
6  (11%)
Other
8  (14%)
Total votes: 56
Poll is closed
06/18/2013
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I'm still trying to figure it out. When I was younger, I was totally into the whole Fairy Tale Sex belief (he's perfect, it's awesome, we'll fuck happily ever after). Then I ended up in a celibate marriage which completely destroyed that expectation.

After my separation and divorce and a brief FWB, I came to an odd conclusion that even movies/music/novels were delusional about how great sex is. Everyone exaggerates how wonderful it is to keep up appearances.

The man I'm engaged to has been patient in educating me that it's an ever-evolving learning experience. Being with him has been better than all my previous experience, so the expectations have been more realistic. I suspect, though, that I will find that Holy Grail of mind blowing sex once I make peace with several of my neuroses.
06/18/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
Sex is great...just wish it was more frequent.
06/18/2013
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
I could not decide between met and exceeded. There are times when it has done all three, but overall, most of the time it just met, but more recently, it has begun to exceed my expectations in ways I never expected.
06/18/2013
Contributor: snowminx snowminx
I never really had expectations of myself. I didn't know people made goals for their sexuality.
06/18/2013
Contributor: TiffanyW TiffanyW
I guess it really depends. Some times are breathtaking, and some are just kinda....not. lol
06/18/2013
Contributor: Rarity Rarity
Quote:
Originally posted by TiffanyW
I guess it really depends. Some times are breathtaking, and some are just kinda....not. lol
Yep! I agree 100%
06/18/2013
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Every time is different. Sometimes hot and sometimes not, but in general, I think our sex life always has room for improvement.
06/18/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Sex changes a lot over time. As a young buck - I was pretty much a rabbit. As an older adult I'm pretty happy with 2-3x week. It is what you make it - and I do my best to keep it hot - and so far so good!
06/19/2013
Contributor: TJtheMadHatter TJtheMadHatter
Quote:
Originally posted by Trysexual
Sex is great...just wish it was more frequent.
Yep and yep. That's exactly where I'm at.

Sex is fantastic. I just wish my husband was on the same sexual wavelength as me. I could go for it every day, any time of the day. He on the other hand, is fine with once a week, at night right before bed.
06/19/2013
Contributor: ImaGodiva ImaGodiva
Sex is better than I ever thought it could be. But it took me into my early 30's to figure it all out - the right man, the right communication and trust, the right self-confidence and assertiveness.
06/19/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by eri86
No matter how good the sex is, is there anyone who's general sexual experience still hasn't quite met what they thought sex in general would be like?

These days with books, movies and everything it seems like a possibility.
Not until I got with my current partner did I even experience anything remotely pleasurable during sex. & Now, his sex does, by far, excced any expectations I ever even imagined. I never expected it to be as good as what sex is with him, so I consider myself very blessed.
06/19/2013
Contributor: FieryRed FieryRed
It definitely depends on the individual sexual event, but overall, sex has improved pretty continuously for me since the first time at age 17. That first time was actually very good, up until the penetration part--all the foregoing stuff felt amazing and had me extremely aroused! But then, I was a virgin and he'd has a girlfriend before, and we were only planning to do everything BUT penetration, so there was a HUGE amount of foreplay.

As I've gotten to know myself and my body better, though, and how to communicate what I want, sex has become much better, and solo sex--well, I thought that was good before, but it's even more incredible now!
06/19/2013
Contributor: bratcat bratcat
I depends on the partner. When i first started to have vaginal sex it was about what i had expected and quickly exceded those expectations. However sometime after that i would find it was lack luster, and though it may have been something i was doing wrong, which i later figured out... it wasn't, at all.
I started to go into things with little expectation, but sex has never been unpleasant for me (aside form a single time while i was in a state of mania), and found that many of my previous partners would surpass my initial expectations of how sex with them could be.
My partner now is much like my first, and every time we are intimate i find sex keeps getting better, thus raising the bar.
06/19/2013
Contributor: chicmichiw chicmichiw
Quote:
Originally posted by eri86
No matter how good the sex is, is there anyone who's general sexual experience still hasn't quite met what they thought sex in general would be like?

These days with books, movies and everything it seems like a possibility.
High expectations are definitely a thing that you learn, and it's unfortunate only if you continue the cycle -- or you can think of them as hopes and strive to make it yourself.
06/19/2013
Contributor: Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by chicmichiw
High expectations are definitely a thing that you learn, and it's unfortunate only if you continue the cycle -- or you can think of them as hopes and strive to make it yourself.
I would be thrilled with sex 2-3times a week, most times these days, once is the norm. I will say that the sex was fab the first year or so, beyond my previous experience, so yes I think it is at times spectacular, then sometimes not so much.
06/19/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
It has grown and evolved over the years...I had medical issues when I was younger that really dampened the whole experience and after they were taken care of--wow!!

With my husband it is amazing!! We both talk about it and agree we had no idea that it could be so open, experimental and fun. I guess you could say we stepped ours up a notch--or two--or.....
06/21/2013
Contributor: leanright69 leanright69
Always room for improvement in communication, openness, and technique.
06/21/2013
Contributor: Hipposterous Hipposterous
I always imagined falling into the arms of my lover... kissing, laughing, smiling, slowly undressing each other, and making love. Despite being sexually active for 2 1/2 years, I have not made love yet. It's always been "fucking". Which is fun, and I enjoy it, but I can't really say sex has met my expectations because I have not had *that* type of sex yet.
06/21/2013
Contributor: TJax TJax
Considering TV relationships, and adult movies, my expectations have more or less been met. I haven't yet experienced the full spectrum of kink, but having sex for the first time in a relationship changes it in the ways I expected.
06/23/2013
Contributor: Pretties Pretties
I may not have done even a fraction of what I would like to, but what I have has for the most part been way better than expectations, because actual human contact is better than imagined human contact (well, when it's the good sort of contact, obviously).
08/08/2013
Contributor: TransMarc TransMarc
Not sex... Humans. Respect my boundaries, please!
08/08/2013
Contributor: pirata pirata
Sex has exceeded my expectations by far. Sex is AWESOME :3 Of course, I never did believe what was in books or porn, so I had more realistic ones....Whatever! Still awesome
08/26/2013
Contributor: Gluesnffr Gluesnffr
I love my sex life.
08/26/2013
Contributor: cagypsy cagypsy
I must admit that with most of the guys I've been with sex has been a let down. Very few have met the expectations that I had and have.
09/25/2013
Contributor: Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
(Review Program Mentor)
Sex with my man is amazing. He has amazing skill but what makes it over the top is the love and respect we have for each other.
09/26/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
I've learned so much about sexual pleasure & all the add-ons since I had the best lover ever. I've yet to experience all of those things, & am I looking forward to it!!!
09/26/2013
Contributor: Ly-Ra Ly-Ra
I admit I really haven't orgasmed during sex with my boyfriend before and it's not very frequent since most of the year we live in different states, but it's still nice nonetheless. Though sometimes I wish he'd be willing to try a little more!
09/29/2013
Contributor: sexcandy12 sexcandy12
my sex is great...just not as often as id hope
10/07/2013
Contributor: HannahPanda HannahPanda
The first girl I was ever with rocked my world. It exceeded every expectation.
10/08/2013