The New Intimacy

If someone sucked in bed would you tell them?

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Contributor: butterflygirlxo butterflygirlxo
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
you can only fix the problem if you are honest about it.
Agree!
03/24/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
I would feel the need to discuss it, but I would be more tactful and sensitive about it than telling them they "suck".
03/24/2012
Contributor: Positwist Positwist
Well, I'd never tell someone they were talentless, but I would consider addressing the problem.

Even then it depends on the problem. If EVERYTHING they're doing is ridiculous (like if they have zero awareness that it should feel good for both of us, that we need to communicate, etc), then I usually just drop them. I'm not about to dump a shitload of time into teaching someone the basics of sexytimes.
03/27/2012
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by Secret Pleasure
curious who would really be honest. I believe in honesty but idk if I could tell someone that.
I might but I would rather just give them helpful tips
05/12/2012
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
My husband is great in bed so there's no problem there. My first friend with benefits wasn't great, but I stopped playing with him, so it doesn't matter, and my second friend with benefits is amazing in bed, so everything's chill.
05/12/2012
Contributor: DeliciousB DeliciousB
I would just tell them and then give them the idea to come up with ways to make it better. It could be a fun experience.
05/12/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
No, I'd just get rid of them. I generally just have casual sex so I don't want to waste my time of them if they suck at it, and don't usually care about them enough to try to fix the problems.
05/12/2012
Contributor: CollegeFun2014 CollegeFun2014
Telling someone they suck might be a little harsh (even if it's the truth). I'd go with suggestions on how to fix the situation first.
05/12/2012
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
I'm generally pretty honest. I actually wrote a guy a (nicely worded) letter once, detailing where he could improve his moves. He was mostly thankful.
05/12/2012
Contributor: Highmaintenancegirl916 Highmaintenancegirl916
i would tell them,they should know.
05/12/2012
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Funny this question pops up. I just had a horrible experience this passed week. I want to tell this person but I think they already know.
05/12/2012
Contributor: MissYouBubbles MissYouBubbles
I didn't vote on this because my first thought was no I'd just never see them again, BUT I had to correct myself because I put up with awful sex for 4 years. He was my 1st and I didn't know better until I met my husband. 20 years of the best sex and it just keeps getting better!
05/14/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Secret Pleasure
curious who would really be honest. I believe in honesty but idk if I could tell someone that.
It depends on how long I plan on being with the person.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I would tell them, because if they aren't doing something right, I can teach them how to so I can enjoy it. It's just like faking orgasms. I never saw the point of it. You end up not enjoying it, and the guy never knows he needs to do something differently. Most guys won't take offense, because they're gonna WANT to make you feel good. That's WHY orgasm is important to them for you. So if they know what they can do better, they will
05/20/2012
Contributor: LoveBug721 LoveBug721
Quote:
Originally posted by Secret Pleasure
curious who would really be honest. I believe in honesty but idk if I could tell someone that.
maybe not directly come out and say it
05/20/2012
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Lizzy
No. If i liked them i would try and teach them. Great sex is an art that few understand. Otherwise i would just ignore them until they went away.
Absolutely, outright telling someone that "they suck" is not the way to teach someone anything other than that I have little respect for them even as a person. Teaching the teachable is the best way. For the unteachable, give up and go away, I guess.
05/20/2012
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
Welcome to my world. There comes a time when after a few partners you begin to think it is you. Then... thankfully, you come across someone who knows sex is not just for them and it blows your mind!!! And his compliments about the things that you do ... more
I agree with WomanChina, that "For some..., there is no point" and "Then... thankfully, you come across someone who knows sex is not just for them and it blows your mind!". Very well put WomanChina, particularly your observation that everyone is an individual and that it's tough to make a generalization on the entire population.
05/20/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Yep, since we can learn more about what we both want and don't want
05/20/2012
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
If it was just a one-nighter thing, probably not. Otherwise, probably, but I'd try to be nice about it.
05/24/2012
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Usually if they suck in bed I just stop having sex and use my toys then the relationship fizzles not long after
05/24/2012
Contributor: bsgs bsgs
Quote:
Originally posted by Secret Pleasure
curious who would really be honest. I believe in honesty but idk if I could tell someone that.
i did after i broke up with her, and she deserved it. i figured it was just one more jab i could get in there
05/26/2012
Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
Depends on the person and situation. Worded gently and teaching them the things you like is important communication for a relationship or with any partner. If you think they suck in bed, their previous partner may have loved it but since everyone is different they won't know that you aren't enjoying yourself.
05/26/2012
Contributor: hotcherry hotcherry
I'll tell them. Its like the ones who are bad in bed, their always asking was it good So in their minds they know it was bad.
07/08/2012
Contributor: digit88 digit88
Quote:
Originally posted by Secret Pleasure
curious who would really be honest. I believe in honesty but idk if I could tell someone that.
depends
07/08/2012