Bondage, domination/submission, pain play of all kinds. We simply do not get it. Not at all. Sorry. Just being honest.
We are into all kinds of sex, for fun, for bonding, for pleasure. We don't get the "pain equals pleasure" thing. I have never once hit my finger with a hammer and had an orgasm. Cutting my legs shaving has never left me euphoric.
So, we brought this subject up with our "free speaking" dinner group last night and while a couple were "intrigued" by 50 Shades stories, they were not into any domination, any more then we are. Exactly zero, out of the fifteen couples there, does any kind of bondage or domination, pain, or anything like that.
So...how common is it? I know the EF crowd may not represent the population in general, but even here, how common is this? less

I like it very much. There are a couple of aspects to it.

One huge one is trust. Bondage allows your partner complete control over you. This requires huge trust and is also freeing. If you are not in charge you have no responsibilities.

Masochism (liking pain) is different than hitting yourself with a hammer. It requires a typical mindset. And being with a partner. It creates a euphoric sensation and is probably associated with a massive endorphin release. I guess masochists probably have different genetics and release more endorphins than a normal person. And basically the pleasure released from them overpowers the pain sensation.

That is my perspective at least. less

Bondage, domination/submission, pain play of all kinds. We simply do not get it. Not at all. Sorry. Just being honest.
We are into all kinds of sex, for fun, for bonding, for pleasure. We don't get the "pain equals pleasure" thing. I have never once hit my finger with a hammer and had an orgasm. Cutting my legs shaving has never left me euphoric.
So, we brought this subject up with our "free speaking" dinner group last night and while a couple were "intrigued" by 50 Shades stories, they were not into any domination, any more then we are. Exactly zero, out of the fifteen couples there, does any kind of bondage or domination, pain, or anything like that.
So...how common is it? I know the EF crowd may not represent the population in general, but even here, how common is this? less

i agree with all of this.
For me, being a sub/dom and practicing lite bdsm play is a sort of control for me. it's very much empowering and makes me feel very much in control of my sexual self and makes me feel much more in-tune with my partner because i know they are enjoying themselves too.
There is a large level of trust between my partner and i. we talk about and make it clear what our boundaries are when it comes to bdsm play, and also what we would like to try, finding a way to compromise and incorporate it into our sex life.

there is no fine line between getting hit during play and accidentally hitting yourself with a hammer, is a pretty large thick ridged line between the two. less