The New Intimacy

Bad Etiquette or Rape?

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Contributor: mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
It depends on how into the guy I am, if I was sober the night before, if we previously had a relationship ect. ect.

Not rape though. Maybe bad etiquette. And probably not someone I will be calling up again unless it was damn good sex
10/06/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Incendiaire
If anyone has been following the saga of Julian Assange then you'll know that he's been accused of having allegedly had sex with a woman in Sweden while she was asleep, the morning after the pair had previously had consensual sex together the ... more
If I agreed to sex the night before and to his sleeping over, then I wouldn't care.
10/07/2012
Contributor: glasskitten glasskitten
Quote:
Originally posted by pasdechat
I'm sort of inclined to say it's rape, but it's a little hazy. Personally, I wouldn't want to wake up to someone having sex with me--even a trusted partner--and maybe the fact that it's just not my thing is clouding my judgement. ... more
Thank you. This is exactly it. So Because she slept with him once, he can put it in any time he's up to it? No. He violated her trust. I'm sure she didn't go to sleep thinking that she'd have to worry about him having his way with her while she was resting. I doubt she would have slept with him if she thought this could happen.

Would it really have been that hard to gently nudge her awake with sexy kisses or something to see if she were interested? Sheesh. This whole thing leaves me feeling ill and a bit confused.
10/08/2012
Contributor: heather-mooney heather-mooney
Quote:
Originally posted by Incendiaire
If anyone has been following the saga of Julian Assange then you'll know that he's been accused of having allegedly had sex with a woman in Sweden while she was asleep, the morning after the pair had previously had consensual sex together the ... more
I don't believe in "implied consent," so I would deem this nonconsentual? but probably not rape...maybe sexual assault? this is really interesting, thanks for bringing this up.
10/10/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Incendiaire
If anyone has been following the saga of Julian Assange then you'll know that he's been accused of having allegedly had sex with a woman in Sweden while she was asleep, the morning after the pair had previously had consensual sex together the ... more
It wouldn't bother me in the slightest
10/10/2012
Contributor: Jesyra Jesyra
I can see why the woman was bothered by it, but for me it would just be a nice way to wake up. There is a difference between rape and a misunderstanding or good intentions gone awry. If he didn't stop when she woke up and said stop, it's rape, but trying to give your partner, even a one-night partner, a fun wake-up call isn't rape unless they say no. At worst he's guilty of poor judgement (all things being as portrayed). I know some women, myself included, that would've been more like, "Wake up sex? Hell yeah!"
10/15/2012
Contributor: shorejen9 shorejen9
Wouldn't bother me but I like when my husband wakes me like that! It is a grey area but I don't think he deserves to be called a rapist for being a fool!
10/15/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I've actually been thinking about this a lot the past couple of weeks and I keep getting stuck on one thing. That is, if Julian Assange looked less like the bastard child of Christopher Walken and Kevin Spacey and looked more like Nick Jonas would this woman have leveled these accusations?

I must admit, Mr. Assange looks incredibly intimidating and I'd be hesitant to go anywhere with him in the first place.
10/15/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Incendiaire
If anyone has been following the saga of Julian Assange then you'll know that he's been accused of having allegedly had sex with a woman in Sweden while she was asleep, the morning after the pair had previously had consensual sex together the ... more
Once again, I am in the minority, but if I have had sex with the guy the night before, then "consent" has been given. If I have stayed in the same bed as him, then it is not only consent, but an easy expectation that more could happen and I am welcoming it. Unlike some here, I enjoy being "woken up" by a guy enjoying me in some way. It is a WONDERFUL way to wake up, in fact...so NO. It would not be "rape" or even "bad etiquette". It would be the guy who I wanted to have sex and sleep with, continuing to show he is enjoying my company in the morning (rather then sneaking out)!!! That would be "bad etiquette" to me.
10/15/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Sex without consent is rape, but if they had consensual sex the previous night, then slept in the same bed until morning, I think there's enough gray area to give him the benefit of the doubt. He's a complete douchebag for pushing his luck ... more
I just find it amazing that other woman feel this way. I don't get it. I am in bed with the guy. I wanted to be in bed with the guy. Why am I in bed with the guy if it is not sex????? Thus, what on earth would make it bad or me upset if he takes advantage of the situation? He might be just as likely to awake with my lips wrapped around his morning erection, or me backing up and putting it in one of my welcoming apertures. How many guys would complain????
10/15/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
Well, my husband does this and I don't consider it rape, but he's my husband and we have consensual sex quite often. lol If it was a one time deal I might have different feelings on it.
Maybe, but I really don't get it. Being in that bed, especially on a "date" is an implied sexual event. More so then with my hubby, where "sleeping" is a known important component!
10/15/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by TheirPet
I don't feel upset when my partner does this to me. I like being woken up with sex but it's not for everyone.
Me too.
10/15/2012
Contributor: AliMc AliMc
I can understand someone labelling that as rape, and depending on my relationship with the guy and other circumstances I might have called it rape myself if it happened to me. As it is now if my current partner did that to me I most likely wouldn't think of it as rape.
10/15/2012
Contributor: Sima-pusya Sima-pusya
It would bother me a little and I'd consider it bad etiquette.
10/15/2012
Contributor: marshmallow marshmallow
rape
10/19/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
Personally, it would bother me. I would like to consent *every* time I have sex.
10/19/2012
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
if i woke up to being penetrated it would be rape to no matter who it was. trying to wake someone up in a sexy way is a different story. line crossed
10/19/2012
Contributor: PepperPot PepperPot
Not cool. You can't consent if you're unconscious.
10/19/2012
Contributor: spineyogurt spineyogurt
Id be a ltitle upset
10/19/2012
Contributor: mdnght mdnght
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Sex without consent is rape, but if they had consensual sex the previous night, then slept in the same bed until morning, I think there's enough gray area to give him the benefit of the doubt. He's a complete douchebag for pushing his luck ... more
My thoughts exactly.
10/19/2012
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I don't like the idea if implied consent. Let's be explicit, okay?
10/19/2012
Contributor: Smurfin Smurfin
Quote:
Originally posted by Incendiaire
If anyone has been following the saga of Julian Assange then you'll know that he's been accused of having allegedly had sex with a woman in Sweden while she was asleep, the morning after the pair had previously had consensual sex together the ... more
I think that if the sex is consensual, the person should be awake for it. I could understand maybe trying to wake your partner up by slipping it in for a little quickie in the night, but if she doesn't wake-up; it's best you pull out. People have different opinions on this matter, frankly some might find it an invasion of privacy, or as you said, bad etiquette. I think it's really a matter of opinion and whether or not the person likes that sort of thing. But if the woman did not consent to this sexual act, then by all means, it's rape. Don't press a limit if you don't know how far it goes.
10/24/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Incendiaire
If anyone has been following the saga of Julian Assange then you'll know that he's been accused of having allegedly had sex with a woman in Sweden while she was asleep, the morning after the pair had previously had consensual sex together the ... more
It really depends on whether she said no and was forced because he assumed that he had the "right" to take what he wanted because she had had sex with him the night before.
10/29/2012