I have never heard of this, Im sure it can be scary losing it but after being married its not required but assumed that you will be having sex. I guess this is fine if both parties agreed that they can have a sexless marriage.

I have heard this is not uncommon due to lack of proper sex ed, religious upbringing, etc in america. Marriages can totally last without sex, it depends on the people involved.

I think it is her right whether she has sex or not. BUT I think the partner has EVERY right to know ahead of a marriage or any other kind of committment that they don't want sex at all.

It would be wrong to marry someone without giving them a heads up. I know I wouldn't stay with someone if there was never any sex! Fair enough if ya been together enjoying sex and then there is an accident of some kind that prevents one from performing.

technically, not having consummated the marriage is legitimate grounds for divorce- just saying.

No one is obligated to have sex, but I think it definitely adds a lot to a relationship and it is extremely important for the marriage to work.

I feel that if she wasn't ready for sex, what made her feel ready to be married?

A lot of marriages have it included in their vows that each partner will look out for the other's happiness and well being, and for most people, sex is part of that.

This isn't something you can generalize. Can a marriage be happy without sex? Well, doesn't that depends on the people involved? But what I absolutely know is that no one is ever obligated to have sex with anyone, under any circumstances. Full stop.

idk how this can happen.

there's so many people out there who are just like this, but we never hear of them.

I actually spent a ton of time in an asexual community before joining Eden. For those of you who aren't familiar, an asexual is someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction, and usually doesn't desire sex as a result of it. I'm not sure if that's what's going on here, but it sounds like a familiar story, given my experience in that community. It could be a lot of other things too - repulsion, sex phobia, low libido, etc.

I voted:

No, it is no one's duty to have sex if they feel uncomfortable doing so.
A marriage can totally last without sex. Love is all that matters.
I think that it should be a decision they both make together, maybe with a marriage counselor or someone the trust.

It's a really personal thing. Sex isn't critical in every relationship. A common thing that I saw spending time in the asexual community were asexual/sexual relationships, which can work with a compromise, but rarely work without it.

Basically - if both parties are okay with not having sex, it's not anyone's business to judge them for it. It's not necessary. If one of them wants it but the other is unwilling to compromise altogether (ie, no sex acts at all), I see problems in the future, just knowing what I saw in the asexual community.

What were the couple doing before marriage? It seems to me there was a total lack of communication! The subject had to come up. If there had been communication involved then both parties would have avoided such a situation. The vows they took at the time of the wedding would imply a joining of two people in body and sole until death. Like a contract.

It could be argued, as well as observed, that as marriages mature, sex does not play such an important role in the relationship. It is the love, the bond, that is built over the years and perhaps even decades that endure. A "LOVE" that meets the test of time. I see this when observing older couples, they hold hands, put an arm over their shoulder, or simply doing the smallest of gestures. It is these acts that implies "I still love you."

In this day and age, that is crazy to hear about. Most people lose their virginity before they are even of age nowadays, let alone how few wait till after marriage.
I think what matters is that both people are happy, but I imagine if she is talking it over with her friend on the phone - then something is off. Either she is unsure on some level if she wants to or not, or her husband really wants it. I think it is not right for her to deny his needs outright, and it is something they should discuss or possibly try marriage counseling on.

In a relationship, it's your duty to meet your partner's sexual needs in whatever way fits your relationship and makes you both happy, with each partner compromising in a reasonable manner. GGG

I think it's fine for a marriage to not include sex if it's something agreed upon within the couple. Thus, asexuals have every right to be married and conduct romantic relationships. However, if you're an asexual, you have an obligation to let the person you're with know about that before hand. Do not expect someone who WANTS a sexual relationship to understand or accommodate your disinterest in sex, especially if you are not willing to accommodate their interest in sex. You are sexually incompatible, you will always be. If that's okay with both members of the couple, fine. If it's not, for the love of god please just find someone else who you are compatible with.

In this case, It's not clear whether the person is asexual or just "not ready." If it's the later, I do think it's okay for this women to delay sex until she's ready, but I think she really needs to examine why she's having such mental and emotional hang ups about it. If it's just fear about being good or whatever, then bite the damn bullet and have some fun.

I personally wonder how you can be emotionally mature enough to get married but not emotionally mature enough to have sex. I do not understand why you would marry someone you didn't want to have a sexual relationship with if you were interested in having said sexual relationship. If the husband married her with the understanding that sex would be part of their relationship, he has, at this point, been misled and is potentially being denied something that most people consider a very important and intrinsic part of a mature, committed and loving relationship.

If the husband is fine with it, that's one thing. If he feels like he's been misled and is being basically neglected by his partner and doesn't understand what is going on and why she would have sex with him when they're married, that is a problem.

not having sex after marriage could be a sign of something else wrong in the relationship.

i think sex is an important part of marriage, but i definitely do not think that any woman (or man) should feel obligated to have sex for the lone fact that they are married. i do think sex is a part of love though, and if you're married, then i'm sure you're in love (though there are always exceptions) - and with that being said, she should definitely consider the reasons as to why she is not having sex with her husband of one year. i think it's something that should most definitely be discussed between the two of them - and maybe even counselling of some kind. i find it odd... but no judgement.

oh no that is crazy! i wouldnt have married her if i didnt have sex with her first lmao, that may sound bad but you gotta test it out first what happened if she sucked in bed and you had to deal with that for the rest of your life. i know you can teach someone but that is just not for me.

It depends a lot on the individual marriage. Sex is an important part, and it has a lot of benefits to increasing intimacy. That said, it's a choice each of them should make, and they should use counseling if it's not working out