People can condition themselves to only come in one way. Like if there's a masturbation technique that you figured out at a younger age, sometimes people stick with that. This can be for ladies or guys. I understand it is possible to "train" yourself to come in different ways, but it can be tricky if you've been doing it that way for a long time.

I've also read some really hot erotica in which the dominant partner "forced" their lady to come in a way that they wasn't their custom. Very hot power play scenario i.m.o.

I do this but only when Im alone. Maybe forcing yourself to stop would be part of the fun for the both of you.

hmmm I tend to clench my legs together as I'm cumming not in order to cum. Especially during oral I loose it and Hubby get crushed in thighs. I think experimenting with positions would be the best advice. Find one that allows you to find enjoyment with penetration.

Yup, I do this and have done so for a very long time so it's probably a conditioned response now. I don't think I'd really ever come through penetration alone - either in a certain position (like the man straddling one mentioned before) or a vibe!

I used to do this, but now I've practiced relaxing during masturbation and now it isn't necessary. As Miss Voluptuous said before, you may be able to train yourself to orgasm with a new technique, but it takes time.

I've had that happen to me too. It's conditioning.