Anal Attempt

Contributor: link82 link82
Have you ever attempted anything anally (penetration or foreplay) on a partner without knowing how they felt about it or discussing it with them before?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yep - and they loved it!
6  (5%)
Yes, and it backfired (no pun intended)!
1  (1%)
No, that hasn't happened yet but I wouldn't be afraid to go for it!
No way, that is definitely something that should be discussed and agreed upon prior.
109  (89%)
Other (please explain)
7  (6%)
Total votes: 123
Poll is closed
05/26/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Constructive discussions on Penetration:

Taint? Toys?
So I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. He likes pressure behind the balls but not anal penetration- are there specific toys for this area? Is it

To those male/female couples into anal play, is your anal session usually "free standing" or does it come BEFORE or AFTER vaginal sex?
After a brief quiz of our friends who openly speak about sexual matters, I interestingly discovered that about half had anal penetration, without...

Double
How well does this toy work for Double penetration by a male penetrating a female?

Feeldoe for men?
My partner and I have been wanting to get more into double penetration, but regular vibrators tend to get in the way, and harnesses just look......

Never had an orgasm
I have NEVER had the big O with just penetration I have to get all warmed up first. Well with 3 small children I do not always have time for four play...
05/26/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
That would depend on just what was going to be attempted. Always ask before penetration. Foreplay such as rimming was a pleasant surprise.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
unfortunatley for me, im the one who is the victim of this situation. My bf constantly tries things, some are tolerable, some drive me crazy. He doesnt understand when I try to explain it, but I never say anything graphic im not a fan of it as it is.
05/26/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
I've been on the receiving end of that. Though it was a bit uncomfortable... I'm thankful in a way because it sparked an interest in me that I didn't know I have, and we do talk about it now.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I was penetrated anally by a former b/f, when we were both somewhat impaired w/o lube or warm-up only saliva. It was painful and I just basically avoided any form of anal play for awhile. I began alone and discovered that I totally love anal play both alone and with my partner. My present b/f also loves me to peg him.
Again communication is the key, so yes talk about it....some surprises are really unpleasant.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I might have brushed my finger around the area, but I'd never just go for it without making sure I know how he feels about it first. And that applies to every time we have sex. He's the same way with anal that I am, we have to be in the right mood for it, and if one asks and the other isn't in the mood for it, it doesn't happen.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I had to ask my wife to use various toys on me anally. During foreplay I'll tease around her rosebud and she'll let me know if it's off limits due to her frequent abdominal distress - so although I don't verbally ask her - my fingers make the initial request.
05/27/2011
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
I wouldn't move beyond external finger touch without checking in, and even then consider what your partner thinks, especially if you haven't been together long enough to know each other's histories and likes. Unfortunately there are a number of people who have endured sexual assault at some point in their past, and I would never want to do anything unexpected to remind them of that history.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Howells Howells
By accident But it was just a blooper lol.
05/27/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
No, I would never do that either. It certainly doesn't engender trust, which is essential in a healthy relationship - sexually or otherwise.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
I think it's prob best to talk about it b/c everyone has diff opinions on the subject.
05/28/2011
Contributor: Vegan Silk Vegan Silk
Quote:
Originally posted by Cream in the Cupcake
unfortunatley for me, im the one who is the victim of this situation. My bf constantly tries things, some are tolerable, some drive me crazy. He doesnt understand when I try to explain it, but I never say anything graphic im not a fan of it as it ... more
If someone was not respecting my boundaries I would have serious doubts about the relationship. You are deserving of respect, and it doesn't sound like your Bf is giving it to you. Even if it is only in this context, that would still cause me to be concerned.
05/28/2011
Contributor: cobiffle cobiffle
Never would do it but accident has happened before where it sliped in cuz of being little drunk
05/28/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
I think that you should always ask before trying it. My ex tried anal play while giving me oral one too many times and got himself banned from oral, soon followed by being dumped.
05/29/2011
Contributor: Devz Devz
Almost happend to me once
05/29/2011
Contributor: LilyLust LilyLust
I knew my partner was interested but to shy to say anything. So I initiated it. The first time was light touch and each time worked my way up to more. Now he wants me to buy a strap on. Hell yeah! I'm so happy to be able to share so much with him.
05/29/2011
Contributor: stlouisxxx stlouisxxx
Nope. Usually it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, but not in this category.
06/07/2011
Contributor: ToyBoy ToyBoy
I wouldn't do it unless they have expressed some interest in it. Some people would just get way to freaked out and turned off if it hadn't ever been discussed.
06/19/2011
Contributor: tickle me pink tickle me pink
No way! I've heard stories of situations like that which ended very badly!
06/20/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
I was so afraid to try anything anal for a long time because of having it forced on me when I was a teenager. I would not attempt it on a partner without knowing they were comfortable with it.
06/20/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Yea, you NEVER attempt something sexual or so blunt as that on someone without having their FULL permission! & I don't mean torturing them and badgering them until they freaking finally say yes. I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. It's kind of something that's can be considered rape if the person doesn't want it and you don't bother to find out but do it anyways.
06/20/2011
Contributor: Bonesdance Bonesdance
That's not an area where surprises are welcome, methinks.
06/29/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
you should never do anything sexual you are not sure how the other will act.
07/13/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'm big on consent, so no, I would never touch him without asking, especially like that.
11/30/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Vegan Silk
If someone was not respecting my boundaries I would have serious doubts about the relationship. You are deserving of respect, and it doesn't sound like your Bf is giving it to you. Even if it is only in this context, that would still cause me ... more
You took the words out of my mouth
11/30/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I don't know how many times I've said this on these forums, but it always seems to bear repeating:

Full consent is required every. single. time. you engage in a sex act. This does not mean verbally degrading, harassing, guilting or shaming someone until they say yes. This does not mean starting a fight over it each time it comes up so that eventually, to avoid the fight, the person says yes. Phrases like "but, don't you want me to be happy?" or "but, don't you love me?" are never involved. Nagging is never involved. You calmly ask the person if they would be interested. You can even make a calm, non-coercive case for why you are interested in it, and why you think they may enjoy it, too. After that: NO. MEANS. NO. Just leave it alone, people! It's not hard!
11/30/2011
Contributor: aimtoplease aimtoplease
Quote:
Originally posted by link82
Have you ever attempted anything anally (penetration or foreplay) on a partner without knowing how they felt about it or discussing it with them before?
I always ask, even if i know she's ok with it
11/30/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I don't know how many times I've said this on these forums, but it always seems to bear repeating:

Full consent is required every. single. time. you engage in a sex act. This does not mean verbally degrading, harassing, guilting or ... more
*applauds* Well said!
11/30/2011
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
I was penetrated anally by a former b/f, when we were both somewhat impaired w/o lube or warm-up only saliva. It was painful and I just basically avoided any form of anal play for awhile. I began alone and discovered that I totally love anal play ... more
Same experience. Had an awful time with anal with a former boyfriend, but after exploring it solo, I enjoy it with my current boyfriend a lot.
11/30/2011