The New Intimacy

Eden Lit- August 08, 2011 at 7pm: Writers Club

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Contributor: Spoken Pandora Spoken Pandora
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The stories pertaining to mother-daughter relationships were really hard for me to read, but necessary in a way.
I understand that. The ones I shared were really hard to write and it's hard for me to reread them.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
OMG I toally recommend it...it was a surreal experience thoug we agreed that just ebing nearly naked in water under the moon was the best part. It's hard to have great sex in a kiddie pool LOL
Your story about that was incendiary!
08/08/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Sounds like a party to me!
Woo!
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The stories pertaining to mother-daughter relationships were really hard for me to read, but necessary in a way.
I imagine there are quite a few times here in this club that this happens. What especially touched you about these pieces?
08/08/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
OMG I toally recommend it...it was a surreal experience thoug we agreed that just ebing nearly naked in water under the moon was the best part. It's hard to have great sex in a kiddie pool LOL
I will definitely have to try it sometime.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The stories pertaining to mother-daughter relationships were really hard for me to read, but necessary in a way.
I couldn't read those. Too many potential triggers.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ivy Wilde
I could really relate to "Teacher Without a Tie". Reminded me of my first day teaching at LSU.
I LOVED that piece!! While I have never taught at the collegiate level I am a minister so I know that moment of "OMG what the heck am I doing here? Am I really qualified??" I always wondered if teachers get stage fright too...
08/08/2011
Contributor: Spoken Pandora Spoken Pandora
Quote:
Originally posted by Ivy Wilde
I couldn't read those. Too many potential triggers.
Lot's of triggers for me, I cried writing mine...I loved what I ended up with but it was like exposing myself in the worse way...very hard
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I imagine there are quite a few times here in this club that this happens. What especially touched you about these pieces?
Now my internet is being a bugger! *sigh*

My mother, too, had this idea that sexual abuse was just part of the nature of the world and never protected me from predators. In fact, in several instances I felt she fed me to the lions.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I LOVED that piece!! While I have never taught at the collegiate level I am a minister so I know that moment of "OMG what the heck am I doing here? Am I really qualified??" I always wondered if teachers get stage fright too...
They do! I had students coming up and comforting me after my first class. It was sweet of them, but rather embarrassing.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ivy Wilde
I couldn't read those. Too many potential triggers.
It can be the most volitle of relationships for us daughters and Mothers. It hurts deep to read another person's troubles where you'd think it wold help...ya know?
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Now my internet is being a bugger! *sigh*

My mother, too, had this idea that sexual abuse was just part of the nature of the world and never protected me from predators. In fact, in several instances I felt she fed me to the lions.
I am so sorry. ::hugs::
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Ivy Wilde
I am so sorry. ::hugs::
Thanks, Ivy. I have to say my mother single-handedly made sure I would never want to be a parent. I've learned too many bad things from her and have no desire to inflict them on a child. And hey, I learned a lot and it led me to where I am and all those usual cliches.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
It can be the most volitle of relationships for us daughters and Mothers. It hurts deep to read another person's troubles where you'd think it wold help...ya know?
My relationship with my mother was just not healthy on so many different levels. Nothing that most courts would recognize as abuse, but I've been through almost 30 years of therapy and still have mother issues.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Now my internet is being a bugger! *sigh*

My mother, too, had this idea that sexual abuse was just part of the nature of the world and never protected me from predators. In fact, in several instances I felt she fed me to the lions.
GAWD I am so sorry! I had the opposite type of mother who in the ned taught the same lesson...that all men are predators and all women prey. I have tried my best to teach my children that for the most part men are lovey creatures who don;t want to hurt you...but you have to be careful. You have to be strong, independant women unafraid but cautious. I hope it is enough...
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Thanks, Ivy. I have to say my mother single-handedly made sure I would never want to be a parent. I've learned too many bad things from her and have no desire to inflict them on a child. And hey, I learned a lot and it led me to where I am and ... more
Awww but the wealth of thins you have learned would most likely make you an amazing parent!!! Still you have to be the one to make that decision and I respect you for having the courage to say you may not choose to have kids. It's not an easy decision.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Thanks, Ivy. I have to say my mother single-handedly made sure I would never want to be a parent. I've learned too many bad things from her and have no desire to inflict them on a child. And hey, I learned a lot and it led me to where I am and ... more
I'm really glad that you've found a way to be a stronger person because of and/or despite your negative experiences. That's something to be proud of. Not everyone achieves that.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Spoken Pandora Spoken Pandora
Quote:
Originally posted by Ivy Wilde
My relationship with my mother was just not healthy on so many different levels. Nothing that most courts would recognize as abuse, but I've been through almost 30 years of therapy and still have mother issues.
If I couldn't write about it I don't know where I would be. Tried therapy, I can't put it into words that they understand. But the writing is mine. The only way I feel in some type of control. She can't touch those words once I put them to paper. It's all me...
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
GAWD I am so sorry! I had the opposite type of mother who in the ned taught the same lesson...that all men are predators and all women prey. I have tried my best to teach my children that for the most part men are lovey creatures who don;t want to ... more
Strong, in my opinion, being the operative word. And thank you. I don't blame her, she was abused by her parents and so forth and so on and married predators and befriended predators. However, to look at her life and to see how she's succeeded...it's quite the paradox. I mean, she's not a nice person. We currently aren't speaking and I'm wondering if she'll even call me on my 30th next Tuesday, but hey...whatever.


Ok, this is not a pity party!!! This is a Lit party!!!
08/08/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Now my internet is being a bugger! *sigh*

My mother, too, had this idea that sexual abuse was just part of the nature of the world and never protected me from predators. In fact, in several instances I felt she fed me to the lions.
I'm so sorry

*big hugs*
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
I found the Back to School piece came out totally different from where I was going when I began it. I guss I stil have some issues I am working on. Hopefuly in another 20 years I canbe less volitile about the subject.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Awww but the wealth of thins you have learned would most likely make you an amazing parent!!! Still you have to be the one to make that decision and I respect you for having the courage to say you may not choose to have kids. It's not an easy ... more
I still have her temper and my father's, no amount of cognitive behavior therapy can check that trigger. We're all much better off should I never have kids. And it really wasn't all that hard for me, which I guess signifies it's the correct choice?
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Spoken Pandora
If I couldn't write about it I don't know where I would be. Tried therapy, I can't put it into words that they understand. But the writing is mine. The only way I feel in some type of control. She can't touch those words once I put ... more
Sounds like a wonderful way to reach catharsis! I don't think I'm quite far enough to do that yet. I've tried writing a little bit about my mother on my anxiety/depression blog, but I have to really limit what I write or I set myself off. So, I've learned to just basically try and avoid the issue.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I'm so sorry

*big hugs*
*hugs back* No one hurts me anymore, it's all good. I think that's why I was able to read those pieces and not go into a downward spiral. I don't know if healed is the right word...but I don't think about it much.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Strong, in my opinion, being the operative word. And thank you. I don't blame her, she was abused by her parents and so forth and so on and married predators and befriended predators. However, to look at her life and to see how she's ... more
LOL My Mom and I arent speaking and I have an injunction out against my Father who threatened to beat my ass for sassing my Mom (I was 38 at the time). No pity here just some hard truths. It's what shapes us into the writer's we are!
08/08/2011
Contributor: Spoken Pandora Spoken Pandora
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I found the Back to School piece came out totally different from where I was going when I began it. I guss I stil have some issues I am working on. Hopefuly in another 20 years I canbe less volitile about the subject.
Its funny how that happens. You go down one road and end up on another. I enjoyed the piece. Made me think a lot about my feelings regarding school and my daughter going away.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I found the Back to School piece came out totally different from where I was going when I began it. I guss I stil have some issues I am working on. Hopefuly in another 20 years I canbe less volitile about the subject.
I tried to write one about going back to school, but it was going in all kinds of funky directions and had no point or real voice to it so I canned it. In other words, I totally feel ya!!
08/08/2011
Contributor: Spoken Pandora Spoken Pandora
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
LOL My Mom and I arent speaking and I have an injunction out against my Father who threatened to beat my ass for sassing my Mom (I was 38 at the time). No pity here just some hard truths. It's what shapes us into the writer's we are!
that it does!
08/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I still have her temper and my father's, no amount of cognitive behavior therapy can check that trigger. We're all much better off should I never have kids. And it really wasn't all that hard for me, which I guess signifies it's the ... more
~nods sagely~ Sometimes we really do know the best path to take all on our own.
08/08/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I found the Back to School piece came out totally different from where I was going when I began it. I guss I stil have some issues I am working on. Hopefuly in another 20 years I canbe less volitile about the subject.
Ugh! Some teachers just shouldn't be allowed near children. I'm glad she lost her tenure.
08/08/2011