The New Intimacy

Eden Bloggers - February 24, 2011 at 7pm: Blogger's Club

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Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I was so paranoid for a while that somehow my parents or other family members were going to find out after that happened, but thankfully nothing did. At this point, working here, I don't personally care too much if people know now. But it's ... more
Mine is still, unfortunately, Google cached. It'll come down within a month or so, but it doesn't make the worrying less concerning.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Alys Alys
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Who have you told about your blog? Is it something that is common knowledge?
I haven't made any connections between my real life and my adult life online, and unfortunately that includes my blog, which has links to my Eden profile, and even my erotica submission for Eden Lit!
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
I've told my housemates that I've started reviewing sex toys, and I told them I was considering blogging for Good Vibes (this was way before I had blogged, joined the EF community, or reviewed anything). But I don't think they know I have an explicit blog. Which makes me nervous now because if I'm afraid someone will start looking on the Good Vibes blog for me.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Way back in the day when I was posting pornographic shots of me in a Yahoo Group I was still in college.

First day of class, a science class, the teacher was calling role and everyone had to stand up when called so that he could put a name to ... more
*giggle* That's freakin' awesome! As long as it didn't have consequences, I'd imagine it was probably as embarrassing for him as it was for you. (or a turn on? Who knows?)
02/24/2011
Contributor: Just A Girl Just A Girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Who have you told about your blog? Is it something that is common knowledge?
No one IRL with the exception of the boyfriend - the boy - who is featured prominently in most of what I write.

I feel for the person who wrote that it was difficult not to talk about the things that you love with the people you love.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by firekitten
What about making a fan page for review sites on FB instead of user profiles? Would that eliminate it being suggested to personal friends you're trying to hide from?
I don't know if Facebook suggests Fan Pages nearly as much, so I'd imagine that would eliminate a lot of it. Plus, FB wants you to use Fan Pages if you only are using FB for promotion.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Just A Girl
I had a terrible experience prior to separating my private, personal accounts from my work related accounts so I treat the blogging with an even higher level of vigilance. My Facebook account was more open and my Twitter was also open. People who ... more
Sometimes it scares me with the amount of information that we willing put out there for anyone to see. I feel bad for your situation though; that'd be really nervewracking knowing that someone could and would use your information against you.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Who have you told about your blog? Is it something that is common knowledge?
I'm out to everyone in my life about blogging with the exception of A) blood relatives and B) my more old fashioned co-workers.

(also, hi! *waves*)
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Pixel
I'm out to everyone in my life about blogging with the exception of A) blood relatives and B) my more old fashioned co-workers.

(also, hi! *waves*)
Hello!
02/24/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Who have you told about your blog? Is it something that is common knowledge?
It's common knowledge really. I'm not as anonymous as most people with their blogging. I have less in jeopardy than most as well. Google my nickname and you'll come up with a ton of stuff. I'm prolific and not afraid to express myself.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Epicurean
I've told my housemates that I've started reviewing sex toys, and I told them I was considering blogging for Good Vibes (this was way before I had blogged, joined the EF community, or reviewed anything). But I don't think they know I have ... more
Sometimes I think we all are guilty of a self-serving bias. We probably think that people pay more attention to what we say than they really do. It might be in the back of your housemates' heads, but unless you talked at length, they probably don't remember. And if they do? It's not like you can erase their minds, so no use worrying about it. I know that'd worry me too though.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Pixel
I'm out to everyone in my life about blogging with the exception of A) blood relatives and B) my more old fashioned co-workers.

(also, hi! *waves*)
Welcome, welcome!

None of my blood relatives know either. Honestly, they still think I work at my old job, so this entire side of me, which is a huge chunk of my life, is off-limits to them. It is a bit sad at times.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Sometimes I think we all are guilty of a self-serving bias. We probably think that people pay more attention to what we say than they really do. It might be in the back of your housemates' heads, but unless you talked at length, they probably ... more
It's true...and they are awesome housemates, not the blabbery type. It's so easy to let your mind spin out of control with the consequences though.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Who have you told about your blog? Is it something that is common knowledge?
My blog isn't really common knowledge, although it is listed here in a few places. I told a few close friends, and thought long and hard about what happens if I get "outed". I decided that at this point in my life, I'd just have to come clean, suck it up, and go "so what? Sex is perfectly normal and healthy and there's nothing wrong with using toys either." My blog focuses more on just general product reviews, but I did review a toy on there.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Any final questions about staying anonymous with your sex blog? As always, technology isn't fool-proof, so always be aware of the risk of exposure that you have when operating something like that. Along with that, please be respectful of your fellow bloggers and never expose a blogger's private identity. We might all get mad at one another sometimes, but no matter what it is, it's not worth marking yourself as an outcast who can't be trusted. Sex blogs run on the basic principle of anonymity, and having that broken can really damage a blog (or destroy it all together.)

So, any other questions about the topic?
02/24/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
My blog isn't really common knowledge, although it is listed here in a few places. I told a few close friends, and thought long and hard about what happens if I get "outed". I decided that at this point in my life, I'd just have ... more
Yeah, that's pretty much my attitude. Even though I am living in the South, I can't lose my job over this. I work with firefighters, for goodness sake! They talk more about sex in a single shift than I do in a week of blogging! lol
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Pixel
Yeah, that's pretty much my attitude. Even though I am living in the South, I can't lose my job over this. I work with firefighters, for goodness sake! They talk more about sex in a single shift than I do in a week of blogging! lol
Lol, I have purple hair, so my second job probably wouldn't care too much about this.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Just A Girl Just A Girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
My blog isn't really common knowledge, although it is listed here in a few places. I told a few close friends, and thought long and hard about what happens if I get "outed". I decided that at this point in my life, I'd just have ... more
That's a good perspective to have - thinking about what would happen if you were outed. Probably a good exercise for everyone to think about. How might it affect your life and what would your response be.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Lol, I have purple hair, so my second job probably wouldn't care too much about this.
Purple hair? I totally didn't know that! I'm thinking about getting some sort of neat colored highlights, but I haven't decided.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Quick question: I'm wondering if anyone has promoted their blog to real-life people or at a real-life event. How did you choose who/where to share? Did you introduce yourself with your alias name?
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Just A Girl
That's a good perspective to have - thinking about what would happen if you were outed. Probably a good exercise for everyone to think about. How might it affect your life and what would your response be.
Yeah. It would be. Just because you really have to be realistic about what the risks are when you blog. It'd be horrible to happen to anyone, but no one should blog without thinking about what *is* at stake.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Purple hair? I totally didn't know that! I'm thinking about getting some sort of neat colored highlights, but I haven't decided.
I'll have to show you some pictures tomorrow, it's pretty freaking sweet
02/24/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Lol, I have purple hair, so my second job probably wouldn't care too much about this.
Ack, so jealous! I need to look like a grown-up professional, otherwise mine would be green right now. *grin*
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Epicurean
Quick question: I'm wondering if anyone has promoted their blog to real-life people or at a real-life event. How did you choose who/where to share? Did you introduce yourself with your alias name?
I did a small giveaway item at a local kink event. It was just given away from my website's name though, so I wasn't really involved. At most kink events, everyone uses their alias though; it's just for protection and no one thinks anything of it.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I did a small giveaway item at a local kink event. It was just given away from my website's name though, so I wasn't really involved. At most kink events, everyone uses their alias though; it's just for protection and no one thinks anything of it.
Cool, good to know. thanks.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Pixel
Ack, so jealous! I need to look like a grown-up professional, otherwise mine would be green right now. *grin*
As much as I liked the hot pink, I think this darker purple is much more me.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Pixel
Ack, so jealous! I need to look like a grown-up professional, otherwise mine would be green right now. *grin*
I couldn't go full-color, but I would do some sort of highlights or strands in a color. The old job prohibited it, so now I'm thinking about it.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
So, anybody want some prizes???
02/24/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
So, anybody want some prizes???
Of course LOL
02/24/2011
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
It's late but one tip I would add it to use separate browsers or instances of browsers for each identity. I have wound up accidentally comment as the wrong name on some blogs or mixing up my sex blog URL with my real persona, etc.
02/24/2011