The New Intimacy

Eden Bloggers - February 24, 2011 at 7pm: Blogger's Club

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Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Hi all! Better late than never!

I've just started to realize how important it is to keep my identity separate and have set up an email account for my alter-ego to do all my business. It's actually been a pain getting EF to send a verification email to my new email account, I don't know what's up with that.

What I'm having a hard time dealing with is promoting myself while also remaining secret. I am very vocal about sex with friends and living in San Francisco, I'd love to get more involved in the events here and promote myself. It's weird not to be able to talk about the things I love to do with the people I love!
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jq Jq
Is there a chat room? Or is all the information here in the forum? Just wanted to make sure I am in the right place.

I just saw this on Twitter and wanted to pop over and check it out!
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Just A Girl
Staying private is extremely important to me because of my job. I don't do anything that people would say "Oh, it's wrong that she thinks and writes about sex and therefore isn't qualified for this job" but rather that I have a ... more
Yeah. I'm sure you could probably meet at smaller sex-related events without any issue though and it'd be a great way to network. I was worried about keeping my job when I was sex blogging too; it hasn't been an issue now that I switched, but before, I was worried. Does it effect what you write in any way?
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Jq
Is there a chat room? Or is all the information here in the forum? Just wanted to make sure I am in the right place.

I just saw this on Twitter and wanted to pop over and check it out!
Awesome. Glad to see you! All the information is here on the forum. We like to have it available for viewing after-the-fact.
02/24/2011
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
Quote:
Originally posted by Epicurean
Hi all! Better late than never!

I've just started to realize how important it is to keep my identity separate and have set up an email account for my alter-ego to do all my business. It's actually been a pain getting EF to send a ... more
I've had a hell of a time with EF remembering my new email address too. It keeps reverting to my original email for some reason even though I've verified the new one three times now.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Just A Girl Just A Girl
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Not always a good idea. I had a facebook profile for my adult stuff and my fiance's vanilla profile kept getting THAT profile suggested to him as a possible friend. He was worried his family was also getting that suggestion to I yanked it.
I've heard that too. I have a "professional" facebook page for work and that page is always being recommended to my personal friends. From what I understand Facebook looks at the account's IP address to make the connections.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Yeah. I'm sure you could probably meet at smaller sex-related events without any issue though and it'd be a great way to network. I was worried about keeping my job when I was sex blogging too; it hasn't been an issue now that I switched, ... more
There are some very explicit, raunchy experiences I've had that I'd really like to write about, but I don't know if I'm quite ready to deal with the consequences if they were found.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jq Jq
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Awesome. Glad to see you! All the information is here on the forum. We like to have it available for viewing after-the-fact.
Thank you! This is right up my alley right now. I am in the process of setting up an anonymous blog.
02/24/2011
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
What about making a fan page for review sites on FB instead of user profiles? Would that eliminate it being suggested to personal friends you're trying to hide from?
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by firekitten
I've had a hell of a time with EF remembering my new email address too. It keeps reverting to my original email for some reason even though I've verified the new one three times now.
Mine, for some reason, sends the EF newsletter to my university e-mail address no matter how many times I update it. Guess the system is stubborn.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I've searched Facebook for my real name before. Surprisingly, there don't seem to be any besides myself. It's kinda neat.
I've searched for myself before and you'll get hits on my name, but they never seem to be me fortunately.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Have you ever had a privacy scare? Did someone expose you (no naming names, please)? What did you do to try and fix the situation? Any bad outcomes from it?
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Epicurean
Hi all! Better late than never!

I've just started to realize how important it is to keep my identity separate and have set up an email account for my alter-ego to do all my business. It's actually been a pain getting EF to send a ... more
Welcome! Better late than never is very true! We're glad to have you.

You live in San Francisco? I'm jealous. Nothing cool happens in the Midwest - like, ever.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
I'm still trying to get EF to send me the verification email in the first place! lol. I sent a support ticket and all I got was a textbook response about how the verification process works.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Have you ever had a privacy scare? Did someone expose you (no naming names, please)? What did you do to try and fix the situation? Any bad outcomes from it?
I've been recognized, because of the earlier mentioned Twitter thing. But the person who found me here didn't really do much of anything that I know of with the information. And they had given out my information in other places. Fortunately that hasn't come back to bite me in the ass yet either, lol.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Alys Alys
Evening! I know I'm late, but I wanted to be here for this meeting!
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Welcome! Better late than never is very true! We're glad to have you.

You live in San Francisco? I'm jealous. Nothing cool happens in the Midwest - like, ever.
I just moved out here a few months ago. I've lived in major cities in the Northeast my whole life, but San Francisco is definitely the place to be. I don't ever want to move back East!
02/24/2011
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Have you ever had a privacy scare? Did someone expose you (no naming names, please)? What did you do to try and fix the situation? Any bad outcomes from it?
Like I said earlier I once linked the wrong Twitter account to my review site and it posted a few entries to that Twitter. Thankfully I think most people ignored it. lol I did make a point of telling my daughter's father about what I've been up to though, just so he was aware. Luckily he really likes it. lol
02/24/2011
Contributor: Just A Girl Just A Girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Yeah. I'm sure you could probably meet at smaller sex-related events without any issue though and it'd be a great way to network. I was worried about keeping my job when I was sex blogging too; it hasn't been an issue now that I switched, ... more
That's a good question. I think it does affect what I write to some extent. I'm never as graphic as I am in my personal journal. The photos I choose are extremely tame and campy.

If I were to go to smaller events they would seriously have to be in other states and I'd use a fake name! Not sure I'm comfortable with that idea yet.
02/24/2011
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
Quote:
Originally posted by Epicurean
I just moved out here a few months ago. I've lived in major cities in the Northeast my whole life, but San Francisco is definitely the place to be. I don't ever want to move back East!
Oh I miss SF. I used to live in the north bay.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I've been recognized, because of the earlier mentioned Twitter thing. But the person who found me here didn't really do much of anything that I know of with the information. And they had given out my information in other places. ... more
I know someone found out my information too. That was scary. I'm much more careful about Paypal money now; I had never assumed that sex bloggers would out each other, but I learned better.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Alys
Evening! I know I'm late, but I wanted to be here for this meeting!
Well, we're glad you're here!

(Two kitty icons? I'm gonna get confused )
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by firekitten
Like I said earlier I once linked the wrong Twitter account to my review site and it posted a few entries to that Twitter. Thankfully I think most people ignored it. lol I did make a point of telling my daughter's father about what I've been ... more
It makes sense. Do you know if he regularly reads what you're doing?
02/24/2011
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
It makes sense. Do you know if he regularly reads what you're doing?
Oh no, he doesn't care enough to ask for the URL. I'd give it if he asked though. He is interested to know what I get to review though.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Speaking of switching things to your alter-email addresses, I'm looking now and realizing that I can't seem to switch my blog to another email address. Anyone who's used Blogspot have a suggestion? Can I start a new blog on my other email address and import all the content?

Shouldn't have made this blog on an impulse, eh...
02/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I know someone found out my information too. That was scary. I'm much more careful about Paypal money now; I had never assumed that sex bloggers would out each other, but I learned better.
I was so paranoid for a while that somehow my parents or other family members were going to find out after that happened, but thankfully nothing did. At this point, working here, I don't personally care too much if people know now. But it's still a bit of a concern, and I prefer not to advertise.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Epicurean
Speaking of switching things to your alter-email addresses, I'm looking now and realizing that I can't seem to switch my blog to another email address. Anyone who's used Blogspot have a suggestion? Can I start a new blog on my other email ... more
Most people probably make their blogs on impulse. We pretty it up after the fact, but it's mostly impulse. I'm not sure if you can switch e-mails on a Blogspot blog just because the entire BlogSpot is logged in by using your e-mail. Anyone else know?
02/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Who have you told about your blog? Is it something that is common knowledge?
02/24/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Have you ever had a privacy scare? Did someone expose you (no naming names, please)? What did you do to try and fix the situation? Any bad outcomes from it?
Way back in the day when I was posting pornographic shots of me in a Yahoo Group I was still in college.

First day of class, a science class, the teacher was calling role and everyone had to stand up when called so that he could put a name to a face. He called my name and I stood up and he had that look like he'd seen me before but I had never seen him so I sat back down.

During class he constantly kept looking at me, trying to place me I bet. I went up to him after class. He asked if we had met before. I winked and said, perhaps you like Yahoo Groups?

OMG he blushed and backed away a bit. I'd been identified. Heh. We didn't talk about it again but I couldn't help but think how many pictures of mine he had wanked off to, or how many he was going to once he got home!

I didn't get an A, but he was more lenient in my answers on tests.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Just A Girl Just A Girl
I had a terrible experience prior to separating my private, personal accounts from my work related accounts so I treat the blogging with an even higher level of vigilance. My Facebook account was more open and my Twitter was also open. People who wanted to attack me professionally would forward my Facebook messages and Tweets to reporters. Luckily there was nothing there of interest but that scared the hell out of me. To have a reporter call and ask about a Facebook post I made was unnerving. I stopped using Facebook for about six months and then deleted everyone except my in-person friends. More information leaked out and so I did another purge.

I think that in general I felt safe about my public profiles as we probably all do to an extent. It only takes one person or group of people who decide they want to make your life miserable to turn your world upside down. I would strongly recommend caution in all that you do online.
02/24/2011