The New Intimacy

Past Abuse/Mental Health and BDSM Interests (Poll for the kinky AND non-kinky folks)

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Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
There seems to be a common perception outside of the kink community that those involved in BDSM are either mentally unstable or have been abused in the past. It's my personal belief that, like any group, the community consists of those with and without current or past issues. There's no more correlation than there would be in any other group of people. So, for example, some gay people may have mental illness or past abuse and some may not. Their mental state and past abuse don't have any relation to their sexual preferences. Even if you took a hobby group like sewing or watching films, some will have abuse in their past and some won't.

Basically what that boils down to is that you can no more correlate an interest in BDSM to mental health or abuse than you can any other thing sexual or otherwise.

I'd like to know if this theory is correct and what everyone's thoughts are on the matter. Plus it would be nice to have a poll to link to when people say "all people interested in BDSM are damaged."

This poll is for those who are kinky AND those who are not to show the range.

I know this is a really unscientific way to figure this out, but there aren't a ton of studies on the relation between the two.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am into BDSM and do not have any past abuse or mental health issues.
39
I am into BDSM and do have past abuse or mental health issues.
80
I am not into BDSM and do not have any past abuse or mental health issues.
12
I am not into BDSM and do have past abuse or mental health issues.
14
Other (please explain)
9
Total votes: 154 (150 voters)
Poll is closed
10/20/2012
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Contributor: satinlady550 satinlady550
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
There seems to be a common perception outside of the kink community that those involved in BDSM are either mentally unstable or have been abused in the past. It's my personal belief that, like any group, the community consists of those with and ... more
I am into BDSM and I was abused in my past but that isn't why I enjoy it. It is a way for me to feel connected with my partner and explore things that I have always wanted too but with my other parters weren't able to because they had an issue with it.
10/20/2012
Contributor: pirata pirata
nope, I'm perfectly mentally healthy and I like BDSM so take THAT society!
10/20/2012
Contributor: Andrey2052 Andrey2052
I am into BDSM and do have past abuse or mental health issues.
10/20/2012
Contributor: sexfairy sexfairy
I have been abused in the past and I'm not into BDSM per say... even though I've lately been more and more curious about it
10/20/2012
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
There seems to be a common perception outside of the kink community that those involved in BDSM are either mentally unstable or have been abused in the past. It's my personal belief that, like any group, the community consists of those with and ... more
I don't have any past mental health issues, and I'm still into it
10/20/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I have not experienced or suffered from abuse or mental health issues, and I am not into BDSM. I'm simply not interested in BDSM, and I do not judge or have any problem with people who like BDSM, everyone has their own preference.
10/20/2012
Contributor: damnbul12 damnbul12
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
There seems to be a common perception outside of the kink community that those involved in BDSM are either mentally unstable or have been abused in the past. It's my personal belief that, like any group, the community consists of those with and ... more
I am into BDSM and do not have any past abuse or mental health issues.
10/20/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I was abused and I am into BDSM.
10/20/2012
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I wasn't abused, but do have some mental health issues (eating disorder and anxiety) and I'm into some aspects of BDSM.
10/20/2012
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I am mentally ill and have been mentally abused, and I think this is a part of why I can't be too deep into the BDSM scene. I experiment, dip my toe in here and there. But a lot of things in that scene trigger me.
10/21/2012
Contributor: Cat E. Cat E.
I'm not into it and have no past abuse.
10/21/2012
Contributor: kitty1949 kitty1949
BDSM intrigues me, but I do not currently have a partner. I am diagnosed with a mental health disorder.
10/21/2012
Contributor: SoloJoe SoloJoe
never abused not in to bdsm yet
10/21/2012
Contributor: Gracefire Gracefire
I voted that I am into BDSM and do have a history of both mental health issues and abuse. And, actually, BDSM has helped me heal so, so much from my abuse-related trauma. It taught me about talking about things like consent a boundaries, and then having those boundaries respected. It taught me how to vocalize my needs, and not to to ashamed of the things I like or don't like. It's really been an invaluable tool in my healing process.

Also, OP, you may want to check out CARAS. They do all sorts of research related to things like this!
10/21/2012
Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
I'm into BDSM and do have past abuse (very little that actually happened to me but I had to watch my mom go through it when I was very young) and mental health issues, however those didn't really affect my interest in BDSM.
I've been sort of experimenting with it since before most of that stuff ever even took place and I don't think I'd be any less into BDSM if it had never happened.

Nothing I've encountered thus far in BDSM even triggers any bad memories or relates to anything that happened while I was growing up actually.
I think what got me started was Disney movies and typical childhood curiosity. xD
10/21/2012
Contributor: RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
I'm very much into kink and I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I think that BDSM is just a method for a lot of people - even those with health issues or past abuse problems - to express themselves emotionally and sexually in a safe space. If there's any correlation there, it's probably because of that.
10/21/2012
Contributor: Angelica Angelica
I was into BDSM before any of the abuse happened, so it is probably irrelevant to my interest in kink.
10/22/2012
Contributor: tami tami
I was tortured, and I am just now getting comfortable with bdsm
10/22/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
There seems to be a common perception outside of the kink community that those involved in BDSM are either mentally unstable or have been abused in the past. It's my personal belief that, like any group, the community consists of those with and ... more
I am into BDSM and do have past abuse or mental health issues.
10/22/2012
Contributor: mastersonv mastersonv
I was molested as a child and then neglected by my father but it has nothing to do with why I like bdsm. I enjoy it because it is one of the few times I don't have to make all the choices and decisions. I can if I want but I don't have to so its more of a relaxation for me. Not to mention I like to be able to increase my tolerance to physical pain which I did not experience during my molestation so that would not be the reason why.
10/22/2012
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
No abuse or mental issues for me.
10/23/2012
Contributor: moongirl moongirl
The results are really interesting.
10/23/2012
Contributor: smlove smlove
I had a lot of childhood medical trauma, but i'm not into medical play at all. But I really have no explanation for why I like topping my wife or when she says she's my mistress, or vice versa.
10/23/2012
Contributor: Kitten has left the site Kitten has left the site
I have past trama that left me with PTSD and I'm into bondage (don't have the toys yet). Nothing my biological father did to me steered me away from the sexual life, but he did start it very early which led me to be a bit of a nymphomaniac.
10/23/2012
Contributor: bottled-diva bottled-diva
Both My Dominant and I have been abused but we specifically aware of these issues and what triggers them. We STRONGLY avoid bring up our abuse.
11/05/2012
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I started a similar discussion a while ago. If you're curious, you can read it here.

I was spanked as a kid. I can't say it affected me in any way or not. Anyone who knows me knows I have a wonderful relationship with both of my parents, so it probably has not. I also have mental health issues, but I am 100% certain my mental health issues have nothing to do with my enjoying BDSM. It's a matter of brain chemistry.
11/05/2012
Contributor: Caus Caus
Went through some pretty rough stuff as a child, and I'm sure it has affected my interests as an adult, but I'm not particularly ashamed of the correlation. I just try not to think about it.
11/12/2012
Contributor: RatchetS RatchetS
I'm the 'other'. I would say I'm pretty healthy mentally and I have never tried bondage, but I would like to. I'm just single right now, so I don't have anyone to play with.
11/12/2012
Contributor: Thumper Logic Thumper Logic
I agree with you entirely Kira, interests do not necessarily correlate to past events in your life, and there are plenty of people on both sides of the fence who have suffered abuse or had a history of mental problems. Things aren't as black and white as people want them to be...
11/12/2012