The New Intimacy

How hard do you play?

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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Oh God, I love when T hurts me. I love when he holds me down and just lays into me. It's a great release of emotion and helps me gain that relief I need from my inner turmoil. It's also a release for him, so naturally we play harder. I ... more
I wish I could release inner turmoil that way but I find it only continues to build unless I do something concrete or meditate when there is nothing to be done. Still neither of my partners is much into true S&M, one has scars from abuse that holds him back and the other is more interested in being the bottom. We are more nooby than Red is BY FAR and I agree with her, it's all a matter of perspective.
Still I'd love to experience the release people talk about..without scaring my partners half to death.
07/28/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I'm don't *really* want to hurt my play thing. That's just silly.
It's never a good idea to break your toys...and saying that to Arch sends him over the edge LOL
07/28/2010
Contributor: Liz Liz
We don't always play rough, but when we do-- I want bruises and bite marks.
07/29/2010
Contributor: kck kck
I've never been abused, but my partner was the victim of child abuse. He occasionally likes a booty or face slap (when we're playing rough), but I really don't like it because it scares me, 'specially 'cause of the statistics that say victims of child abuse are more likely to be abusive. Being hit upsets me; one time when he smacked my face, I cried. And then he cried because he realized he had scared me. He doesn't ask for it anymore, so we don't do this.
07/29/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
I like it soft. I'm more into the erotics of it all.
08/01/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
I'm not into hurting myself, but hubby is really into that, but I do like an occasional spanking! or hair pulling
08/01/2010
Contributor: Miss Naughty Kitty Miss Naughty Kitty
I like it a little rough but i don't want to be in sever pain.
08/05/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
I love heavy hitters. I've only found one person to play with me out of all I've ever been with. And this is college! We're supposed to enjoy being kinky and exploring. Not so, not so. And I've sampled party boys, frat boys, artsy boys, artsy girls, party girls, blah blah blah. No one wants to hit a girl :[ And if they do, it's the lightest tap. Not enough.. The one person I mentioned once told me he wanted to fuck and beat me so hard my friends would think I was mugged.

Sick, but eh, a girl can like what she likes, yeah?
09/21/2010
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
I play hard, I've been whipped until I've bled, and had welts and bruising for a week. I like to struggle in my restraints and during consensual non-consent play I will genuinely try to get away, I'll bite and scratch if you give me and inch.
09/21/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
I'm an "Other."

I'm not vanilla, I'm not middle of the road, but I don't like being *seriously* hurt. No blood, long lasting welts or bruises.. basically, I don't want to be so hurt I feel like I was beat up.

But my man and I do play pretty hard.. I'm also big on struggling out of the restraints, like Madeira. My man has been known to bite me so hard he left marks all over my neck, and he LOVES to beat my ass until I've got multiple raised red handprints, or belt marks on it. I usually end up with some bruises or a bit of a welt on my ass.

I don't like being hit in the face too hard, though. A bit of a slap is fine, but one night when we were a little tipsy my man was pushing my limits a bit, getting a bit more rough than usual and left a slight mark on my face. I was not amused..

I also love to get choked!
09/22/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Some people play hard. Some barely graze the skin. And still others fall somewhere in between. So what about you?
Its not my thing, I don't like hurting or being hurt.
10/09/2010
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
It's hard to say, we can't experiment too much because I grew up in an abusive house hold. So it's hard to know what will trigger a panic attack and freak out and what wont. Restraints, spankings and a few other things, but not really hitting. I'd rather not go back there mentally and he'd rather not get anywhere near there.
10/09/2010
Contributor: clp clp
I'm definitely the sort that prefers situational domination over sensation. Spanking: yes please, but not much more than that. Physical abuse and violence do not manifest as sexy for me. I suppose if I had a partner that required it, I would dabble in play, but it would definitely be filed under "Service: Things I Do Because I Have To".
10/09/2010
Contributor: VampKitty VampKitty
I like in between... I like rough but not to the point of leaving marks for longer then a few hours at most.
10/09/2010
Contributor: Serendipity Serendipity
I giggle when I get hit hard. I like rough sex and I enjoy BDSM on its own without sex.
10/09/2010
Contributor: Mistress Mistress
With the BDSM aspect, I want it all. I want the full feeling of abandon. I want as much as they can give, and possibly more. Hit me, cut me, bruise me, but please don't tell me you're afraid to hurt me.

With the sex aspect I want a little more control. But, only sometimes, depending on the top and the scene we're acting out.
10/09/2010
Contributor: Tart Tart
Mmmm bloody... sounds very interesting. I have had my skin split before but have never bled openly. That's usually a no-no at public parties so I have never done it. I like heavy impact, and high intensity, but I don't like being "beaten bloody."
10/29/2010
Contributor: Mocha98 Mocha98
Does moving your slave 6-feet forward on a spanking bench count?
10/29/2010
Contributor: Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
I think mental torture is more fun and efficient then physical. :3
10/29/2010
Contributor: NymphetamineKiss NymphetamineKiss
I voted "I wish someone would play with me so I could find out!"...

In my case I haven't found my safewording point yet - but that's not because I'm super tough or anything, just that my partner and I don't play hard - he's simply not as kinky as I. He's given me permission to play with friends in a BDSM sense, but I haven't pursued that yet. I don't know about that yet.

Saying that though, I do want to experience more extensive, harder play. I'd like to find out some limits.
10/29/2010
Contributor: lamira lamira
I like playing rough, but not too rough. Biting, spanking, pinching, tying up, handcuffs, etc, but with a tender touch.
11/06/2010
Contributor: CanMan CanMan
people usually don't know how to handle me
11/20/2010
Contributor: Akikaze Akikaze
We usually have a bit of a milder play depending on the day. Yet sometimes, when we are both just angry at the world, we take it out on each in the most enjoyable way. We announce what we want, or I just go in for a full bite which tells him how rough I want it. When I can break his grip, he knows to lay it on thick. It's so nice.
11/22/2010
Contributor: Kimbertrees Kimbertrees
I wish someone would play with me so I could find out.
11/23/2010
Contributor: Shumway Shumway
My wife and I like to play a little rough, but it's usually within reason.. slapping, or flogging. My wife wants me to be more dominant in the bedroom.. but I'm still new to the dom/submissive thing.. so have a lot to learn
11/23/2010
Contributor: KnK KnK
I'm comfortable with dealing out the pain, but no more than my toy is comfortable with. I push the limits, but never too far.
11/25/2010
Contributor: slavegirl slavegirl
i'm both, like to get pain n give pain, but not too much...
11/29/2010
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I wasn't sure how to vote on this. I don't like bleeding, bruising, or having the ever lovin' shit knocked out of me. That being said, I really don't think of choking and slapping on the face, etcetera, as "soft" activities, even by BDSM standards.
Your comment really resonated with me! I feel the same way. And in fact, last night M spanked me harder than ever before, and I screamed so loud...it was our first play party so I think I was excited to let loose (M and I live in a dorm).
12/05/2010
Contributor: sbon sbon
I guess I'm somewhere in between. Sometimes I like it rougher than others.
12/24/2010
Contributor: Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
when i am doing kink, i am a heavy hitter, but i have some subs that don't like it as hard so i can have a light hand when needed.
12/24/2010