The New Intimacy

ever said no and he/ she didn't stop?

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Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
Once... I like breath play and my playmate and I had a system where I tap somewhere on him to say "ok, I need to breathe" one time thing got out of hand and he straddled my chest and put his hands and weight on my throat and even those I ... more
Ahhh that sounds kind of terrifying.
01/23/2012
Contributor: dks210 dks210
Only when playing out rape fantasies. Of course if I was being serious he would stop. There's no excuse for real rape any time, any place.
01/23/2012
Contributor: LAndJ LAndJ
My partner always stops the second he hears "no," "stop," "ow," or "you're hurting me." He's a great guy and is always terribly afraid he's going to hurt me. He pauses to ask if I'm alright if he's concerned about a sound I've made and even just to ask if I'm doing okay.
01/29/2012
Contributor: Willow Wand Willow Wand
I was raped in the past.

However, I think you are speaking of safewords. Master and I don't have a safeword...we used to, before I was collared, but now I am his, and he can do as he pleases.
01/30/2012
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
There were a few times in my past where I felt like my partner (exes, now) were going too far too fast, but despite me telling them to stop, they kept going. Now, I'm with a partner who not only listens when I tell him to stop, but he knows my limits as well.
01/30/2012
Contributor: cecelliastrick9 cecelliastrick9
link

This article is really interesting and answers a lot of questions.
01/30/2012
Contributor: LittleBird LittleBird
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
Once... I like breath play and my playmate and I had a system where I tap somewhere on him to say "ok, I need to breathe" one time thing got out of hand and he straddled my chest and put his hands and weight on my throat and even those I ... more
What the fuck is wrong with some people? Jesus.
01/30/2012
Contributor: Lavendar Lavendar
not really
01/11/2013
Contributor: Gdom Gdom
My partner frequently says "no" without me stopping. That's because "no" isn't our safeword. If what you're really asking is something more like, "Have/has you/your partner ever continued when the other clearly indicated that they genuinely wanted to stop," then no, I have not and would not ever do so. BDSM is built on trust; violating that trust is never okay. End of story.
01/11/2013
Contributor: HisLittleFiend HisLittleFiend
I was raped by my first serious boyfriend. I can say that. I don't mind. It happened. He was an ass. Now it doesn't bother me at all.

I've told my current honey no before, or to stop, and he has had a couple times he doesn't as part of the play, but that was negotiated before. He can tell when I really need to stop, and no matter how horny he is, he'll stop.
01/11/2013
Contributor: xcapricax xcapricax
They never stop when I say no..bc its not the safe word but it is fun to say.
01/13/2013
Contributor: bronzelotus bronzelotus
My first experience with oral sex started with coercion on his part, and when I tried to stop, he made me finish at knifepoint. Made me much more careful about who I trusted -- there were some warning signs that I had, in my blissfully ignorant youth, either ignored completely or explained away. Now if something doesn't feel right when I meet someone (in the lifestyle or out), I trust and listen to my instincts.
01/14/2013
Contributor: tunacan75 tunacan75
That's a huge no no
01/15/2013
Contributor: kkybf kkybf
Unfortunately, yes. i've been raped...
01/15/2013
Contributor: froggygal91 froggygal91
I had an ex that would never stop when I told him to until he was done. It didn't matter how bad he was hurting me so much I was crying he would finish then try to hold me and tell me he was sorry. Needless to say we did not last very long.
01/15/2013
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by mariah
or maybe said " it's ok" or tryed to calm you down, but still did not stop
Yes.
01/15/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
Yes, but I'm sure it's nothing like the question is asking. I'm not good about make up sex after arguments like my wife is and she usually gets her way in the bed.
01/15/2013
Contributor: twelve13 twelve13
My partners have always stopped. Unless there was a safeword involved. Which, in that case, I believe they would stop if that safeword were used (have never had to use it). If a partner does not stop, that is sexual assault.
02/13/2013
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
My girlfriend says no or stop during sex, but we have a safe word and a yellow word because she admits that she says it a lot and DOESN'T want me to stop, which is problematic. On the converse, if I even show any sign of discomfort, she stops immediately.

This has happened once to me, but that's in the past, and not related to my current girlfriend.
02/13/2013
Contributor: RedGlitter RedGlitter
NO.
He would never keep going if I said stop.
02/13/2013
Contributor: Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
mhm.. i have actually.
02/13/2013
Contributor: WordsmithingImp WordsmithingImp
Like many others have said--no doesn't mean "stop" in all of my play, but I always have a safeword. It never has been ignored by my own partners, but if it was, I would classify that as assault (or rape, if the safeword was spoken during sex and ignored).

Safewords are not safe if they don't goddamn work, and the number of people who don't understand that, or know that they are entitled to having a respected safeword if they want, is utterly horrifying.
02/15/2013
Contributor: Mitzuki Mitzuki
This only happened to me once. My partner and I were in the middle of a scene, and he thought I was playing along with it when I wasn't. Needless to say I bit him so hard that I drew blood. (He hates being bitten!) After that, we sat there and discussed what our safewords are and how seriously he needs to take them. That hasn't happened again since.
02/16/2013
Contributor: big b big b
when she wanted to have anther kid
02/16/2013
Contributor: Dear Ruby Dear Ruby
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
I have. I was giving my first bf a blowjob and he grabbed the back of my head to make me deepthroat, I motioned for him to stop and he didn't, I don't remember if he finished or not, but he never got another blowjob.
I don't blame you. A guy like that would never even get another call back from me!
02/17/2013
Contributor: Dear Ruby Dear Ruby
I think we're talking about BDSM scene play, correct?

Anyway, it's only kind of happened, with none of the negative connotations. I enjoy having my edges played against, and my current partner knows this. One time he went what I was terribly afraid would be too far (I'm not going to get graphic, but I will say that he was slipping mousetraps to some very sensitive areas) and I started freaking out. Rather than stop, he calmed me down, explained what he was doing and reminded me that it was what I wanted, and so we continued. I stopped protesting, and we continued. I'm very glad he did
02/17/2013
Contributor: Flower1 Flower1
no.
02/17/2013
Contributor: Love Bites Love Bites
Last year, I went to a friends house and we were hanging out, watching TV. I've been in a relationship for now three years and counting. The guy was trying to kiss me and touch me. I told him to stop, moved away, pushed him off. He got violent, grabbed me by the throat, pinned me down, and began to pull my shirt down. I said no very, very clearly several times. His reply? "It's so hot when you struggle and say no". I bit him, which made him more violent. Luckily, I"m used to wrestling with people much bigger/stronger than I, and I quickly removed myself from that house.

Worst part is that only a handful of people believed me, family members I am related to my blood turned, called me a liar and a slut. I have nothing to do with over half my family.

No, doesn't mean I like it, especially when I have no sexual relationship with you. No and stop mean exactly that where I am concerned. Thank the Goddess my boyfriend isn't a dick and listens.
04/19/2013