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Does anyone else have a problem with 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?

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Contributor: Tony Conrad Tony Conrad
I would never read it on principle but was a bit annoyed as everywhere it is the female getting spanked. I suppose this is more acceptable on the media but I am a husband who simply loves receiving. I would do it to my wife if she wanted but she doesn't. The only thing that encouraged me was the prostitutes in nineteenth century England who earned big money for spanking gentlemen. Many of them became very rich. Ahh I am not alone then! I would never go to a prostitute though. I have trained my wife to do it being her head.

Who put that awful picture above my name. That wasn't me honest.
08/19/2015
Contributor: edenite edenite
I chose not to read the book because I heard how horrible the writing itself was. I also got the impression that it was written by someone with little to no experience with BDSM, so it didn't really interest me. I gave in and recently watched the movie. Which then prompted me to read articles from members of the BDSM community because I wanted to see if it was just me that was left pretty upset about it.

Ironically the book seems to have sparked newbies interest in BDSM because of how mainstream the books became. When really it seemed to me to be about dysfunctional BDSM dynamics as opposed to healthy and fulfilling examples. The way in which they were BOTH introduced to the lifestyle is very disturbing, and unlike any real life examples I've encountered. So to me, instead of feeling like it opened peoples minds to kink, I'm left even more hesitant to be open about it if i were to be in a D/S relationship in the future.

I was also left with the urge to write something BETTER, lol
08/22/2015
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by edenite
I chose not to read the book because I heard how horrible the writing itself was. I also got the impression that it was written by someone with little to no experience with BDSM, so it didn't really interest me. I gave in and recently watched the ... more
Out of curiosity, are you part of the BDSM community?
08/23/2015
Contributor: edenite edenite
Quote:
Originally posted by Lvstoplay
Out of curiosity, are you part of the BDSM community?
not at this time,but i've had some experience with BDSM in the past, as well as D/S dynamics. i've considered seeking out another D/S relationship at some point in the future, if i ever get out of my anti-relationship mode lol
08/24/2015
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I listened to the first book when it was fairly new - not too impressed but interesting.

Then about a year ago my wife decided to listen. I have been introducing impact play with a slapper, flogger and crop for a while. She was cool to it before 50-shades. Now she's become a bit of an enthusiast. I think it helped her contemplate that, as Modona says, 'there's a certain satisfaction in a little bit of pain'.

I can see where real BDSM aficionados would find the book tedious - but as for a little 'mommy porn' - it helped expand our horizons.
09/02/2015
Contributor: The Awkword Lover The Awkword Lover
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ... more
I read the first two, but gave up on the third. I liked the sex scenes...but that's about it. The whole thing seemed very unrealistic, unhealthy, and...well, fangirl-y. Like others have said, it's really repetitive, and Christian's only redeeming quality is that he's rich and handsome. BUT I do think it opened the door to BDSM (and hell, even just the use of toys) to women who otherwise might have been too intimidated. And, I actually did like the movie for the most part. They cut out most of the annoying parts.
10/18/2015
Contributor: catt catt
I read the 1st book on the recommendation of a very good friend with more BDSM experience than I. I was so disappointed. This book was touted as the book to mainstream BDSM. It is nothing but the poorly written mommy porn that it was meant to be. Ana is just looking for her Prince Charming and determined to change the man she found into what she wants him to be. Mr Grey is just a spoiled abusive boy.
It was written for bored housewives to perk up their collection of bodice rippers. I can always judge a poorly written book by how quickly I can read it. And I don't mean that I spent 24 hours because I couldn't put it down.
I mean that I couldn't believe how quickly I got through half the book because I never was challenged to think about it.
It is presenting BDSM as pop culture that will be dropped as soon as a newer fad comes along.
As yes Livia Drew, all of our Goddesses are sick over this.
Personally I ran and re-read my copy of 'The Story of O' which pulled no punches and didn't pretend to be anything but what it was.
10/18/2015
Contributor: Glinteye Glinteye
While I haven't read the books, my understanding is that the representation they give of the community is pretty warped. The lack of consent is barely the tip of the iceberg, and that's a pretty big deal.
11/16/2015
Contributor: dhig dhig
hate it! really pushes the scene back
11/17/2015
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
It's rapey and abusive, real BDSM should involve consent. I don't like the book or when people glorify it.
12/05/2015
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
I've seen the movie & it didn't include much BDSM. Most likely cuz the general public would protest it.
12/10/2015
Contributor: Tshfangirl Tshfangirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ... more
I read them because I was bored and it only took me a few hours to read each of them. I think that she is a terrible writer and the whole "inner goddess" thing was so annoying. What can you expect from a book that started as a twilight fanfiction?
12/12/2015
Contributor: Brandiewhy Brandiewhy
Its alright. Its something to read to pass the time, but its not something that I think ANYONE should use as a guide to BDSM. I think that there are so many flaws and misrepresentation of the BDSM community, that its ALMOST offensive. BOTH of the main characters need counseling and probably shouldnt be anywhere near the Red room of pain until they have had it.
03/19/2016
Contributor: DancerKittyKat DancerKittyKat
The book series does not accurately represent a healthy BDSM relationship. There aspects of the Christian and Ana's relationship that would be classified as abuse. The book does bring BDSM into the mainstream eye, which is beneficial to the BDSM community since it means that nosy neighbors are less likely to report what they misconstrue as abuse. However, the book does paint a very unhealthy picture of a relationship.
03/24/2016
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by The Awkword Lover
I read the first two, but gave up on the third. I liked the sex scenes...but that's about it. The whole thing seemed very unrealistic, unhealthy, and...well, fangirl-y. Like others have said, it's really repetitive, and Christian's only ... more
Ana is too childish. Grey - the original Fifty Shades as told from Christian's perspective removes a lot of that. I didn't like that he honestly hurt her, but he gets better in the other second and third book.
01/10/2017
Contributor: AlaskanBeauty AlaskanBeauty
Pardon my language, but "Fifty shades of grey" - is just some whiny shit that has nothing to do with BDSM.
12/22/2017
Contributor: Lena Eden Lena Eden
(EdenFantasys)
Quote:
Originally posted by AlaskanBeauty
Pardon my language, but "Fifty shades of grey" - is just some whiny shit that has nothing to do with BDSM.
Yeah, I'm with you here. I'd call it vanilla BDSM
12/22/2017
Contributor: lock down lock down
From the first movie I'd say it looks "alright." I consider it a very minimalist side of BDSM if at all. I do however think it's neat that it did spark a lot of peoples minds towards the world of light BDSM and such but that's not always for the best. Kudos to those who gave it a shot because of the movies and books and kept on with it.

My SO said there's much better erotica out there and they didn't do a good job finding the right guy in her looks wise in her opinion but it is kinda hot.
12/22/2017