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Do you like pain during sexual encounters and if yes, do you have a history of self injury?

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Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
I was laying in bed wondering about this lastnight and thought I would ask everyone here. I like pain during sex, and I am also a recovering self injurer. Is anyone else out there like me? is there a connection?

the poll is anonymous but feel free to explain your answers if you want
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I like pain
168
I don't like pain
60
I used to self injur and don't anymore
68
I have never self injured
107
I self injur
18
Total votes: 421 (235 voters)
Poll is closed
06/14/2011
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Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I was laying in bed wondering about this lastnight and thought I would ask everyone here. I like pain during sex, and I am also a recovering self injurer. Is anyone else out there like me? is there a connection?

the poll is anonymous but feel ... more
A little pain is fun.
06/14/2011
Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I was laying in bed wondering about this lastnight and thought I would ask everyone here. I like pain during sex, and I am also a recovering self injurer. Is anyone else out there like me? is there a connection?

the poll is anonymous but feel ... more
I'm a masochist. I enjoy pain and it turns me on a lot.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Fullbeauty Fullbeauty
I like a little bit of pain, but not too much
06/14/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
I've never tried a lot of pain, I'm intrigued by the idea, though. Not sure how much I'd be able to take and be turned on...
06/14/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
I like pain. The more we play the more I like. As for the history of self injury, does being naturally clumsy count? Probably not.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I was laying in bed wondering about this lastnight and thought I would ask everyone here. I like pain during sex, and I am also a recovering self injurer. Is anyone else out there like me? is there a connection?

the poll is anonymous but feel ... more
I enjoy pain during sex but otherwise I'm allergic. I have never self injured...my drug of choice was emotional self torment.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I used to some, but what I used to do is quite different from the type of play we do that causes pain. I never self-injured for the physical pain.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I like pain in conjunction with sex. "Come on, Baby, make it hurt so good. Sometimes love don't feel like it should, so make it hurt so good," comes to mind immediately. I enjoy my husband pinching or spanking me.

Honestly, I think he uses my reaction to various intensity spanks or pinches as a sort of gauge that tells him what he can expect me to tolerate later when we are behind closed doors.

I don't think I have ever inflicted pain on myself outside of sex on purpose.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I used to some, but what I used to do is quite different from the type of play we do that causes pain. I never self-injured for the physical pain.
oh yes, same for us. I used to cut and we do not do anything as severe as that, just wondering if subconsciously there could be a connection. I know with rape survivors they can sometimes have rape fantasies and its more about taking back the control rather than experiencing that again.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Enjoyed pain and self injured during masturbation. Apart from that no.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
oh yes, same for us. I used to cut and we do not do anything as severe as that, just wondering if subconsciously there could be a connection. I know with rape survivors they can sometimes have rape fantasies and its more about taking back the control ... more
That's definitely interesting - there could be, subconsciously.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I used to self injure, but don't anymore. I don't mind a little pain during sex, especially since it's something he likes but it needs to be framed properly. For me having pain as a "punishment" is NOT okay. I used to cut to punish myself and having my partner hurt me as a punishment for something puts me back in a self-destructive mindset. I worked too hard at stopping the cutting to put myself in a triggering situation. If he wants to give me a moderate amount of pain because it's something that he enjoys, that is fine with me and can be hot depending on the circumstances. I have made it clear that there is not to be any shaming or anything to go along with the pain.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
oh yes, same for us. I used to cut and we do not do anything as severe as that, just wondering if subconsciously there could be a connection. I know with rape survivors they can sometimes have rape fantasies and its more about taking back the control ... more
I think you hit the nail on the head with taking back control!

In my case, that is EXACTLY where it comes from. I was physically and sexually abused for many, many years as a child.

Our BDSM play has totally helped me work through all that shit and forgive myself, and the men that abused me and the women that stood by and let it happen, so I could heal. It has been an amazingly uplifting process. The bond I have with my husband is stronger because he was with me supporting me in all of it.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I think you hit the nail on the head with taking back control!

In my case, that is EXACTLY where it comes from. I was physically and sexually abused for many, many years as a child.

Our BDSM play has totally helped me work through ... more
you are lucky to have such a great husband.

I think taking back control might be the answer, I was never in control of my feelings when I would self injure and it was more about inflicting pain, shame and punishment on myself, sometimes just a way to feel the pain I couldn't express in words or emotions.

But when we use pain on me during sex it is a joyful and fulfilling experience that I am in ultimate control of even though he is dominating me. Replacing the bad memories and connections with good pleasurable ones.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
Yes I think having a supportive partner makes all the difference. Having my guy there to remind me that I am safe and cared for makes it into a wonderful experience.
06/14/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
do not like pain. for us pain and sex do not go together.
06/15/2011
Contributor: jc123 jc123
Also a masochist. I don't hurt myself though--tried to experiment with cutting when I was younger, but that didn't last long.
06/15/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I was laying in bed wondering about this lastnight and thought I would ask everyone here. I like pain during sex, and I am also a recovering self injurer. Is anyone else out there like me? is there a connection?

the poll is anonymous but feel ... more
I said yes because I like a very small amount of pain, sometimes.

It can quickly cross the line into annoying, though.
06/15/2011
Contributor: curmudgeoncat curmudgeoncat
I like a decent amount of pain during sex due to the increased intensity. I was abused as a kid and enjoyed playing rugby, but I was never a self-injurer.
06/15/2011
Contributor: NarcissisticLust NarcissisticLust
I don't like extreme pain during sex, but I do like a little "ouch" here and there along with lots of uncomfortable. I have no history of physical or mental self harm.
06/15/2011
Contributor: ss143 ss143
I enjoy a good spanking or hair pull so some pain is good depending on the mood. I don't say this lightly or easily I am a cutter have been for the last 15 years( please spare me any of the you need to stop) and the pain I inflict on myself is different mentally than what pain I get from getting spanked etc so I don't know if they correlates for me personally.
06/15/2011
Contributor: The Mother of a SiNner The Mother of a SiNner
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I was laying in bed wondering about this lastnight and thought I would ask everyone here. I like pain during sex, and I am also a recovering self injurer. Is anyone else out there like me? is there a connection?

the poll is anonymous but feel ... more
I cant say that I like pain
06/21/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
i like a little pain, and i do have a history of self injury but dont anymore
06/21/2011
Contributor: sweetiebelle sweetiebelle
I like pain, and being talked down to and blablabla. I like angry sex and stuff like that.

I used to cut, but I dont anymore, and havent in years.
06/21/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
I like a bit of pain but not around my cunt. I used to self-injure but not anymore (yay!).
06/22/2011
Contributor: Linga Linga
I love pain, in the right situations of course and I've never been a self injurer
06/22/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
I used to self injure, and under the right circumstances I adore pain mixed with sex. Masochistic tendencies, I haz them. However, I don't experience the same sort of release with kinky sex as I did with self injuring. With the SI stuff, I would shut down emotionally as well as physically. I couldn't feel pain. With a BDSM experience, I feel the pain, but it translates into awesome pleasure sometimes, and there is no emotional shut down.
06/22/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
I used to self injure, I haven't in about five or six years but I do love pain during sex. I think the endorphin response is similar but the emotional response is totally different.
06/22/2011