Shorthand for Life
More and more, the relationships of our modern lives look less and less like the simple configurations that romance novels and television sitcoms promised us.
According to a report in Newsweek, “Polyamory is a thriving phenomenon in the United States, with over half a million families openly living in relationships that are between multiple consenting partners.”
While this census data can be reassuring to those who are living “outside the box,” it doesn’t make social interactions with non-polyamorists less complicated. Imagine introducing your Intentional Family (IF) to your Family of Origin. Your Intentional Family (also called your Chosen Family) is made up of those people you choose to share your life with: lovers, exes, friends (platonic or with benefits), your co-parenting village, Bromances, Significant Others, etc., plus their children and S.O.s, etc. Your Family of Origin (sometimes called your Biological Family or “that nuthouse you grew up in”) came with a set of preprinted name tags: Mom, Dad, Sis, Weird Uncle Willie. Your Tribe of intimates have learned how to play well without the benefit of place cards or clearly defined roles.
The people you love know who they are to you. But the less your IF looks like The Brady Bunch, the harder it is to explain who is whom to Aunt Susan. Particularly if your sweet old Auntie can’t get past the issue of who sleeps where (and with whom) to the more pressing matter of why your metamour's young daughter is hurt that Aunt Susan brought presents for all the nieces but her.
Words are shorthand for the way we live. Every subculture has its own private language. Language to describe ourselves to outsiders and language to share common experiences with those in the know.
According to a report in Newsweek, “Polyamory is a thriving phenomenon in the United States, with over half a million families openly living in relationships that are between multiple consenting partners.”
While this census data can be reassuring to those who are living “outside the box,” it doesn’t make social interactions with non-polyamorists less complicated. Imagine introducing your Intentional Family (IF) to your Family of Origin. Your Intentional Family (also called your Chosen Family) is made up of those people you choose to share your life with: lovers, exes, friends (platonic or with benefits), your co-parenting village, Bromances, Significant Others, etc., plus their children and S.O.s, etc. Your Family of Origin (sometimes called your Biological Family or “that nuthouse you grew up in”) came with a set of preprinted name tags: Mom, Dad, Sis, Weird Uncle Willie. Your Tribe of intimates have learned how to play well without the benefit of place cards or clearly defined roles.
The people you love know who they are to you. But the less your IF looks like The Brady Bunch, the harder it is to explain who is whom to Aunt Susan. Particularly if your sweet old Auntie can’t get past the issue of who sleeps where (and with whom) to the more pressing matter of why your metamour's young daughter is hurt that Aunt Susan brought presents for all the nieces but her.
Words are shorthand for the way we live. Every subculture has its own private language. Language to describe ourselves to outsiders and language to share common experiences with those in the know.
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