Recently my wife and I played a game. We were both turned on and felt like having some fun. She dressed up in some terribly sexy lingerie and wanted to run my hands all over her body. Then I remembered something that we had talked about in the past.

Before we met, she had never really explored her body herself. She’d had previous lovers, but they were college flings, and most everything was over quickly if you can remember that time. We experimented some with having her touch herself when we first got together, but then we discovered sex toys and went off down a different path. But on this night I remembered that we had been talking about her learning to touch herself.

So I told her to lie back on the bed and to listen to my voice. I was going to tell her what she was going to do and her hands would act out what I said. I started by having her stroke her face gently. I then moved down having her caress her neck like I know she likes before moving lower down her body. I told her to play with her breasts and her nipples. This continued on down her body until we reached between her legs. I could tell she was nervous, she enjoyed sex toys and had no problem with masturbation, but had never explored herself with her hands and fingers before. I reassured her and had her begin to touch herself.

She began slowly, and worked herself up as I encouraged her and instructed her on what to do next. She got more and more into it, her breath becoming quicker and her sighs and moans growing in intensity and volume until she was close to orgasm. With a little more encouragement she brought herself to orgasm and cried out as she crested.

Once she recovered we held each other and talked for awhile before continuing on. She felt that she was okay with trying something that she’d never done before since I was “in control” so to speak. One of the reasons that she’d never used her hands on her body before is because of things that were taught in school and growing up, and how people just didn’t touch themselves. It was something that she hadn’t gotten over. She was fine with masturbation now, as long as it was done with some other implement and not herself. She was never comfortable with touching herself, exploring her body and feeling not only the sensations her body felt when touched by her hands and fingers, but the sensations her hands and fingers felt as well. With me directing the action, she felt less guilt and pressure and was free to enjoy, because I was the one directing her actions.

As we talked, she said she felt more comfortable with her hands and fingers now. She had always loved for me to use my hands on her, running along her body and within her, but had never felt comfortable with her own hands and fingers. I found this odd, only because in our lives touch is something we experience all of the time and a great deal of that touch comes from our hands interacting with things, people, objects, the keyboard as I’m typing this. We are comfortable using our hands as we need for many things, but often people don’t feel comfortable in touching themselves.

I feel the same way as my wife did, only in reverse. I have no problem touching my genitals in a sexual manner. As a guy, I figured that type of thing out even if it wasn’t something that society necessarily smiled upon. Where I’ve always felt uncomfortable is touching my other parts of my body, like how I had my wife begin. I love to caress her face, but would never dream of doing that to myself. Running my hands along my body would feel very strange and foreign to me if I’m being honest with myself and you. But it is something I need to grow comfortable with, because I think it is an important way to connect with our sexual selves, learning to touch ourselves in ways that lovers do.

After our talk my wife and touched each other and it was incredible. I love to use my hands and feel the softness of her skin, and I love her light and grazing touch along my chest. I just think that I need to take some time to explore myself a little more fully after having watched my wife cross what I think is a huge threshold in her sexual being & personality.