David DeAngelo and Rory Raye know exactly why you can't find the relationship you so desperately want. And they're both willing to give it to you if you just sign up for David's free advice, and Rory's five (How'd she come up with that number?) free heart connection tools.

Their reason you suck at the game of love? Yer doin' it wrong.

Rory says ladies need to stop trying to connect with men through their minds. She says they'll make friends with you if you're smart, but they're not going to find themselves out of control, crazy, madly, deeply in love. Don't try to capture his interest through sex or spirituality, either, girls. The way to your guy is through his heart. But don't forget! To get him to open it, you have to “drop down to your heart” by “being your most authentic and feminine self.”

Davey thinks that as long as a man learns how to talk to women, it won't matter who the guy really is. She won't be able to control herself. She'll fall helplessly into his arms. And damn it, fellas, stop being so ridiculously nice to us. We just don't respond to that.

Like the guy in the little ’50s diner up the street said the other day, “It's not the 1950s, for cryin' out loud!”