The Nighttime Ritual
Later that century, young people who flirted with one another were said to be spooning. Merriam-Webster suggests the Victorians got their inspiration from the Welsh custom in which a man gave his fiancée a gift of a carefully carved wooden spoon. It wasn’t until the 20th Century that “spoon” entered into its most raunchy connotation yet; to spoon meant to “neck” (another term with archaic roots that may soon be up for discussion).
Language changes at lightning speed these days—the foodie neologism “locavore” made it from the dining section of the paper to the dictionary in no time flat—so it’s hard to say what exactly spooning means now. I’d never had any reason to think spooning was more physical than simply lying together closely with both parties facing the same way. Arranging ourselves in the tiny university-issued “extra-long twin” beds has become as important a bedtime ritual as brushing my teeth and popping in my retainer on the nights The Boy sleeps over. Spooning is the favored position for reasons of habit and intimacy—I love him and like to sleep on my side, facing the nearest wall—but proves to be rife with challenges. It’s perhaps more intimate than other cuddling configurations; you can’t feel your partner’s heart beating when you’re facing one another.
There are, of course, etiquette guidelines to ensure the most pleasurable spooning experience. These come from a predominantly heterosexual point of view but can be modified to accommodate any gender pairing. But first, an examination of the parts and configurations. The person who is on the outside, or the one who is not being cradled, is called the big spoon. Conversely, the person snuggled neatly against his partner’s body is the little spoon. Generally, both parties are more comfortable if the taller person is in the big spoon position, but the reverse makes for a good set up, as well, if only because both people laugh at the height difference. With each position come responsibilities.
Language changes at lightning speed these days—the foodie neologism “locavore” made it from the dining section of the paper to the dictionary in no time flat—so it’s hard to say what exactly spooning means now. I’d never had any reason to think spooning was more physical than simply lying together closely with both parties facing the same way. Arranging ourselves in the tiny university-issued “extra-long twin” beds has become as important a bedtime ritual as brushing my teeth and popping in my retainer on the nights The Boy sleeps over. Spooning is the favored position for reasons of habit and intimacy—I love him and like to sleep on my side, facing the nearest wall—but proves to be rife with challenges. It’s perhaps more intimate than other cuddling configurations; you can’t feel your partner’s heart beating when you’re facing one another.
There are, of course, etiquette guidelines to ensure the most pleasurable spooning experience. These come from a predominantly heterosexual point of view but can be modified to accommodate any gender pairing. But first, an examination of the parts and configurations. The person who is on the outside, or the one who is not being cradled, is called the big spoon. Conversely, the person snuggled neatly against his partner’s body is the little spoon. Generally, both parties are more comfortable if the taller person is in the big spoon position, but the reverse makes for a good set up, as well, if only because both people laugh at the height difference. With each position come responsibilities.
This is the position my wife and I go to sleep in almost every night, and though we adjust as we sleep, usually when we start to wake up, we return to it before we actually get up for the day. There are lots of ways to be close, but I don't think there is another position that allows for such complete closeness. It's our favorite.
We are big spooners. I absolutely love the closeness.