Before the baby arrived, there was nothing shocking or outlandish about having a romp on a weekend afternoon, or staying up all night rolling the sheets. However, once itty-bitty’s here, if you are like my wife and I, you wonder when – or if! – you’ll ever again feel sexy or want to have sex.
For anyone who is reading this who hasn’t had a child already, I’ll be honest; the first few months are tough. You are too busy just trying to sneak in a little more sleep to even think about sex. It’s funny that something created from sex leads you to forget about the act for an extended period of time. A feeling of luxury, during those first few months, is not your wife dressing up in her sexiest lingerie and going down on you. Instead, “luxury” takes the form of a hot shower and an hour nap.
After those first few months have passed, you begin to think about sex again. A lot, in fact. Other parts of your life go back to a semblance of normalcy, but your sex life is a little more difficult to get back on track.
The first thing you have to realize is that your wife has been through a physical trauma to bring your bouncing bundle into the world. She passed something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a lemon, and that’s just not something you recover from quickly. It takes some time, and if she is nursing as well, the hormones that once had her jumping your bones when you walked through the door are dormant as she literally makes food for your child.
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Her sex drive will return in time, as her body heals as well. Once you both have the desire again, finding the time for sex is what’s difficult. As the parents of a now two-year old, we’ve had some time to figure out what to do to spark the fire in our relationship. I'd like to share some things that have helped us rekindle the passion in our sexual relationship.
For anyone who is reading this who hasn’t had a child already, I’ll be honest; the first few months are tough. You are too busy just trying to sneak in a little more sleep to even think about sex. It’s funny that something created from sex leads you to forget about the act for an extended period of time. A feeling of luxury, during those first few months, is not your wife dressing up in her sexiest lingerie and going down on you. Instead, “luxury” takes the form of a hot shower and an hour nap.
After those first few months have passed, you begin to think about sex again. A lot, in fact. Other parts of your life go back to a semblance of normalcy, but your sex life is a little more difficult to get back on track.
The first thing you have to realize is that your wife has been through a physical trauma to bring your bouncing bundle into the world. She passed something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a lemon, and that’s just not something you recover from quickly. It takes some time, and if she is nursing as well, the hormones that once had her jumping your bones when you walked through the door are dormant as she literally makes food for your child.
Male Sex Toys from Fleshlight
Her sex drive will return in time, as her body heals as well. Once you both have the desire again, finding the time for sex is what’s difficult. As the parents of a now two-year old, we’ve had some time to figure out what to do to spark the fire in our relationship. I'd like to share some things that have helped us rekindle the passion in our sexual relationship.
The golden rule of date night is the hardest thing for me. When I'm not with my baby, the only thing I can think of is my baby.
What if it's your husband who doesn't want to do anything?? Our baby is 8m old and she sleeps the entire night. We have no excuse not to do it, but he doesn't want it. I would love a date night, or a kiss, like a hot, meaningful kiss a day, but he hates kissing. I'm losing my mind.
Mari, I'm sorry that you're having problems. We had that problem here as well, but the reverse. My wife was so tired after going back to work, and was still nursing, that she just counted the minutes until she could be in her pajamas and go to sleep. For awhile we scheduled sex. Romantic, I know. Then we both knew it was coming up, and usually she'd enjoy it a lot. Eventually we stopped scheduling and things went back to normal. Good luck! I know how it is.
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