A Pop Quiz
True or False: You can easily get a ton of awesome sex at Burning Man.
The answer is: C. It’s both true and false.
True: You’re likely laid a lot at this mind-bendingly ginormous art and life festival if you are…
1. A single female of any orientation
2. A non-monogamous woman
3. A gal with another gal looking for others of various genders
4. A partner to #2 or #3
5. An amazingly charming and sensually attractive male or non-female gendered person
6. Attending with your pre-existing sexual partner or partners with whom you already fuck like crazed weasels.
7. A person of any gender, already in possession of amazing skills to flirt and hook up with anyone, anywhere.
False: You’ll have to work just as hard as any other Saturday night to score if you are… None of the above.
If you are “none of the above,” here are a few tips on increasing your hook-up potential.
- Engage extra dose of nice-guy etiquette. Make eye contact, not eyes-boob contact. Smile. Say “please” and “thank you” a lot. Share all that you have generously. Sharing is the way of the Playa anyway. Pay attention to other people’s needs. Selfishness totally kills any hookup karma.
- That scantily weirdly erotically dressed person is not dressed that way for you. Grabbing, leering, nasty commenting or taking pictures non-consensually = jerk = no sex for you.
- Stop focusing on sex and hooking up. It just makes you stink of desperation. Desperation is the best sex repellant ever.
Study Up On Playa Smart Sex Basics
If you plan to have sex with someone you don’t regularly shag, go over what each of your expectations around safer sex is before getting it on. The desert doesn’t make diseases go away.
Bring your own safe sex supplies — lube, gloves, condoms, dams or plastic wrap, and what ever else you want. Pre-pack small Ziploc baggies containing one hookup-worth of basics and toss into every bag, camel pack or cargo pocket you have. You never know when you might get lucky. While there are camps and services providing condoms everywhere, you’re better off bringing your own supplies so are properly prepared.
Remember that condoms as toy covers make clean up and sharing a snap! Female condoms are great for butt sex for all genders.
Some of my favorites:
- Sliquid silver – lubricant
- Sliquid H2O – lubricant (Tip: Sprits of water will revive drying lube)
- Reality — female condoms
- Pleasure plus – male condoms
- Kimono microthin with aqua lube – male condoms
- Latex dental dams
- Nitrile gloves
If you run out, go to the Safer Sex Camp or any of the medical facility. Your safer sex supplies are free there.
If you already have a relationship and are planning to have sex with others, discuss what’s ok and what’s not before going to Burning Man.
Hydrate! Sex = sweat, saliva & cum, which all comes from a well-watered body. The desert sucks H2O right out of you, so drink vast quantities of water.
The dust is airborne toxic sandpaper on your clit, cock, lips, nipples, throat, balls, vulva, pussy, anus and anything else you like to touch or be touched. Use tons of unscented baby wipes frequently, especially before and after sex.
Pee after sex. Yes, the dust gets up there too.
That dust is severely alkaline and will eat away your skin into cracked and painful alligator leather. Pack a spray bottle containing a mix of vinegar and water to neutralize any dust affected area, especially your feet and hands.
Going away from your tent to shag with that new Playa pal? Make sure someone knows where you’re going and with whom.
Be careful about drinks, cookies and treats from ‘new friends’. Drugs and date rape drugs happen out there. Sexual assaults do happen at Burning Man. Report it. You will be supported. The Bureau of Erotic Discourse is always there to assist and empower.
The Solar Bullet 
The Earth Angel]Love your Hitachi? Sorry babe, you better find an alternative because there are no power outlets in your tent. If you want toys that go buzz, pack plenty of batteries, or better still, stop putting batteries in the landfill and use green energy:
The Solar Bullet: comes with a solar panel for charging.
The Earth Angel: a traditional vibrator powered by a hand crank.
What Ever You Do...
Take time out to take care of yourself. This might mean getting a full night’s rest once in a while, sleeping alone, taking quiet time to sit alone, having sex with just yourself, or changing your expectations.
Try new things.
Be good to yourself.
Be good to others.
Don’t do things you don’t want to.
You always get to say no, even in the middle of it all.
They always get to say no to your suggestions.
Above all, remember to hydrate and have fun!