A Slave's Disclaimer
(The Intercontinental Slaves Union is a fictitious organization. It does not exist. If it did, it would be a secret society known only to its members. Anyone who claims to be a member of the Intercontinental Slaves Union is lying. If there were such an organization, it would take great care to preserve its secrecy and members would certainly face serious, perhaps fatal, consequences if they discussed its existence. Let the record show that I, Slavette, officially deny the existence of the Intercontinental Slaves Union and make absolutely no claims to being a member of such an organization –and I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter about being denied membership. Those rumors are entirely untrue. Sure, I’m usually on probationary status for breaking some stupid rule or another, but I’m still a member, and I have my card to prove it! Er, um, that is, I would have my card if the organization existed and I was a member.)
A Different Kind of Fantasy
I fantasize a lot—and not all of those fantasies involve leather, rope, Rod Stewart, or James Marsters. (In fact, after seeing him on the American Idol finale, I think it’s a good bet that Rod Stewart will not be appearing in any more of my fantasies.) Anyway, some of my fantasies are not only about sex—some are about a world that is a better place for people who chose to serve others and identify as slaves. There’s sex in that fantasy world, but there’s also an organization devoted to helping slaves. I call it the Intercontinental Slave Union and, since it’s my fantasy, I’m President of my local chapter. In a recent episode of this fantasy, I sent the following letter:
To: The Board of Directors, Intercontinental Slaves’ Union
From: Slavette, President, ISU Local 814
After reading the latest ISU newsletter, I wish to state my opposition to the following items:
• The “Slavery is Fun” Membership Recruitment Campaign
While I personally feel that slavery can be fun, I am strongly opposed to promoting the idea that it can be fun for anyone—or fun all of the time. Being a slave is not for everyone. We do not help ourselves or others by pretending that our way of life is an easy one. Besides, the slogan is lame. Slavery is Fun? Seriously, was that idea approved before or after everyone ate brownies during a snack break in the meeting?
• Cutbacks in the Group Medical Benefits for ISU Members
I understand the Board’s need to be fiscally responsible, but there must be other places to cut costs than to eliminate the chiropractic and orthopedic services available to ISU members. Being a slave is tough, and the first things to go are our knees and backs. A slave union that doesn’t offer these benefits is as worthless as a vampire union without a dental plan.
• Selection of Delegates to the Master/Slave Summit Negotiations
The ISU continues, year after year, to pin our hopes for change on these summit negotiations, but the results are always the same—nothing, nada, zip. We spend countless hours debating and drafting our list of (very reasonable and respectfully worded) requests for cooperation from the Masters’ Guild. What is the point of all that effort if we continue to send delegates who are incapable of maintaining solidarity with their fellow ISU members? Every year we hear the same excuses: “We asked, but they just looked at our list and raised one eyebrow. You know how sexy they look when they get all ‘masterly’ like that. It’s not our fault, the power of the eyebrow is too strong for us to argue against or resist.”
Those excuses are bad enough, but what I find truly appalling is the blind acceptance of this state of affairs by the rest of the membership. Let’s get some backbone! We can be firm and still be respectful. If they are going to continue to use the “eyebrow trick” then we should send delegates who are not only immune to its powers but who can take effective counter-measures such as “wide-eyed begging” or “bashful pleading.”
As I have written in the past, I would welcome the opportunity to lead this year’s delegation. Unfortunately, since the ISU requires committee appointments be filled only by members in good standing and my membership has—once again—been moved into a probationary status by the Disciplinary Committee, I am ineligible to lead the delegation. I suggest that if the ISU wants to see real change from this year’s Master/Slave Summit, then the Board should either change the requirements for committee appointments or overturn the unjust ruling made against me by the Disciplinary Committee and proclaim my membership in the ISU to be in good standing.
• Suggestions for the List of Requests to be Presented at the Master/Slave Summit
Whether or not the ISU Board sees fit to allow me to serve as a delegate to the Master/Slave Summit, I hope you will seriously consider including the following items in the requests presented to the Masters’ Guild:
1. A joint statement from the ISU and the Masters’ Guild condemning the use of the terms “real,” “true,” and “wannabe” in describing a person or a practice associated with BDSM. These words have become weapons to demean others and divide our community. As we all know, there are no standard set of guidelines, and no governing body ever makes such judgments. The time to take a firm stand against people who presume to have that authority is long overdue.
2. Formal acknowledgement from the Masters’ Guild that service and respect are privileges to be earned—not rights to be demanded. Although most of its members understand and abide by this concept, until they take an official position, we will continue to face harassment (and in some cases outright exploitation) from the unenlightened minority of the Masters’ Guild. Their continued silence on such a basic principle is extremely disheartening—even just a ruling from the Guild that, “On your knees, bitch,” is not an appropriate opening line, would provide much needed relief to the online segment of ISU’s membership.
3. Joint Proclamation of a Ban on “Slave vs. Submissive” Definition Debates. As I’m sure the Board must certainly know, the “slave vs. submissive” definition debate has raged for decades—and on a global-scale thanks to the technological advances of the Internet. From polite intellectual discussion to all-out flame war, the approaches to the problem vary, but the results are inevitably the same. In a best case scenario, consensus is reached among the discussion participants, but their definition is rejected when presented to a wider audience. In the worst case scenario, the original discussion blossoms into blood feuds making it necessary for many people to look beyond their local community to find connection with other slaves. I would hate to see us all forget the lesson of the ISU Local 618 tragedy—18 killed, 47 hospitalized, and 21 serving prison terms, simply because a local chapter decided to take up this debate at their monthly meeting. History has shown that the price of pursuing the goal of a universal definition is far too high. We cannot allow more blood to be spilled before people politely agree to disagree.
4. Formal Support for the ISU Position Paper Regarding the Responsibility of Masters to Respect Slaves’ Individual Needs and Limits. Again, many of the Masters’ Guild members have already declared their support for this position paper but their leadership refuses to even publicly recognize the existence of the document. I am tired of hearing the argument that this is a way for slaves to manipulate masters and take control away from them. Hello? We’re slaves, we want them to have control. We simply want to help them understand how to take care of us. A car needs gas, there is a limit to how fast it can go—knowing these things helps the owner get the best performance from it without breaking it. No one accuses a car of manipulating its owner. The gas gauge is considered helpful, not annoying. If the Masters Guild wants to back up its stance that slaves are prized possessions, then they shouldn’t treat their cars better than they treat us!
I sincerely hope that the ISU Board will give careful consideration to my proposals (and to my appeal to overturn the ruling of the Disciplinary Committee recently made against me). I make these proposals with the intent to improve the quality of life for all slaves. I know I don’t need to remind the Board that the ISU promotes free and open speech among its members—that’s one battle I’ve already fought and won with the ISU, so don’t try to silence me with threats about expelling me from the union. It may not be today, with this Board, or with the current leadership of the Masters’ Guild, but eventually reason will prevail, and my pleas for justice and sensible behavior will one day be answered.
Sincerely,
Christina Parker, President
Intercontinental Slaves’ Union Local 814
To: The Board of Directors, Intercontinental Slaves’ Union
From: Slavette, President, ISU Local 814
After reading the latest ISU newsletter, I wish to state my opposition to the following items:
• The “Slavery is Fun” Membership Recruitment Campaign
While I personally feel that slavery can be fun, I am strongly opposed to promoting the idea that it can be fun for anyone—or fun all of the time. Being a slave is not for everyone. We do not help ourselves or others by pretending that our way of life is an easy one. Besides, the slogan is lame. Slavery is Fun? Seriously, was that idea approved before or after everyone ate brownies during a snack break in the meeting?
• Cutbacks in the Group Medical Benefits for ISU Members
I understand the Board’s need to be fiscally responsible, but there must be other places to cut costs than to eliminate the chiropractic and orthopedic services available to ISU members. Being a slave is tough, and the first things to go are our knees and backs. A slave union that doesn’t offer these benefits is as worthless as a vampire union without a dental plan.
• Selection of Delegates to the Master/Slave Summit Negotiations
The ISU continues, year after year, to pin our hopes for change on these summit negotiations, but the results are always the same—nothing, nada, zip. We spend countless hours debating and drafting our list of (very reasonable and respectfully worded) requests for cooperation from the Masters’ Guild. What is the point of all that effort if we continue to send delegates who are incapable of maintaining solidarity with their fellow ISU members? Every year we hear the same excuses: “We asked, but they just looked at our list and raised one eyebrow. You know how sexy they look when they get all ‘masterly’ like that. It’s not our fault, the power of the eyebrow is too strong for us to argue against or resist.”
Those excuses are bad enough, but what I find truly appalling is the blind acceptance of this state of affairs by the rest of the membership. Let’s get some backbone! We can be firm and still be respectful. If they are going to continue to use the “eyebrow trick” then we should send delegates who are not only immune to its powers but who can take effective counter-measures such as “wide-eyed begging” or “bashful pleading.”
As I have written in the past, I would welcome the opportunity to lead this year’s delegation. Unfortunately, since the ISU requires committee appointments be filled only by members in good standing and my membership has—once again—been moved into a probationary status by the Disciplinary Committee, I am ineligible to lead the delegation. I suggest that if the ISU wants to see real change from this year’s Master/Slave Summit, then the Board should either change the requirements for committee appointments or overturn the unjust ruling made against me by the Disciplinary Committee and proclaim my membership in the ISU to be in good standing.
• Suggestions for the List of Requests to be Presented at the Master/Slave Summit
Whether or not the ISU Board sees fit to allow me to serve as a delegate to the Master/Slave Summit, I hope you will seriously consider including the following items in the requests presented to the Masters’ Guild:
1. A joint statement from the ISU and the Masters’ Guild condemning the use of the terms “real,” “true,” and “wannabe” in describing a person or a practice associated with BDSM. These words have become weapons to demean others and divide our community. As we all know, there are no standard set of guidelines, and no governing body ever makes such judgments. The time to take a firm stand against people who presume to have that authority is long overdue.
2. Formal acknowledgement from the Masters’ Guild that service and respect are privileges to be earned—not rights to be demanded. Although most of its members understand and abide by this concept, until they take an official position, we will continue to face harassment (and in some cases outright exploitation) from the unenlightened minority of the Masters’ Guild. Their continued silence on such a basic principle is extremely disheartening—even just a ruling from the Guild that, “On your knees, bitch,” is not an appropriate opening line, would provide much needed relief to the online segment of ISU’s membership.
3. Joint Proclamation of a Ban on “Slave vs. Submissive” Definition Debates. As I’m sure the Board must certainly know, the “slave vs. submissive” definition debate has raged for decades—and on a global-scale thanks to the technological advances of the Internet. From polite intellectual discussion to all-out flame war, the approaches to the problem vary, but the results are inevitably the same. In a best case scenario, consensus is reached among the discussion participants, but their definition is rejected when presented to a wider audience. In the worst case scenario, the original discussion blossoms into blood feuds making it necessary for many people to look beyond their local community to find connection with other slaves. I would hate to see us all forget the lesson of the ISU Local 618 tragedy—18 killed, 47 hospitalized, and 21 serving prison terms, simply because a local chapter decided to take up this debate at their monthly meeting. History has shown that the price of pursuing the goal of a universal definition is far too high. We cannot allow more blood to be spilled before people politely agree to disagree.
4. Formal Support for the ISU Position Paper Regarding the Responsibility of Masters to Respect Slaves’ Individual Needs and Limits. Again, many of the Masters’ Guild members have already declared their support for this position paper but their leadership refuses to even publicly recognize the existence of the document. I am tired of hearing the argument that this is a way for slaves to manipulate masters and take control away from them. Hello? We’re slaves, we want them to have control. We simply want to help them understand how to take care of us. A car needs gas, there is a limit to how fast it can go—knowing these things helps the owner get the best performance from it without breaking it. No one accuses a car of manipulating its owner. The gas gauge is considered helpful, not annoying. If the Masters Guild wants to back up its stance that slaves are prized possessions, then they shouldn’t treat their cars better than they treat us!
I sincerely hope that the ISU Board will give careful consideration to my proposals (and to my appeal to overturn the ruling of the Disciplinary Committee recently made against me). I make these proposals with the intent to improve the quality of life for all slaves. I know I don’t need to remind the Board that the ISU promotes free and open speech among its members—that’s one battle I’ve already fought and won with the ISU, so don’t try to silence me with threats about expelling me from the union. It may not be today, with this Board, or with the current leadership of the Masters’ Guild, but eventually reason will prevail, and my pleas for justice and sensible behavior will one day be answered.
Sincerely,
Christina Parker, President
Intercontinental Slaves’ Union Local 814
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