"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim."
The Freedom of Independence.
I always thought that, because I could do simple household maintenance and repairs, change a tire on my car, check and change the oil, and perform a basic tune up on the engine, I was very independent. It wasn't until a friend and I were talking about the issues that her mother was having after her father had passed away, that I realized I was self-reliant.
Being self-reliant and being independent are as different as night and day. Self-reliance is a good trait to have, especially if you live alone or are with a partner that is lacking in particular skills. However, knowing how to take care of yourself is different than owning your own unique individuality.
Independence belongs solely to you. You have your own thoughts, feelings, ideas, dreams, and desires that are not dependent on anyone else's whims. These belong only to you, and you are solid in these convictions. These pieces of independence are part of your persona, your freedom to act on your thoughts, and the ability to state your convictions without seeking another person's permission or approval.
As with anything, independence can be taken too far -- it can become egotistical and selfish if left unchecked by human emotion and common sense. People can be a bit too independent and outspoken. This tends to make others even more reserved and judgmental than normal. We all know one of these people, and if you are like me -- you tend to avoid the argument you know is sure to come from those who are never wrong!
As small children, we are taught to gain others approval, usually starting with our parents, then our teachers and lastly, our peers. When we fell from grace, we learn to hold back, a bit at a time. Eventually, many of us were driven to gain approval -- even at the cost of our own independence.
Usually around the teen years, our bid for independence starts to overpower our need for approval. We start to assert ourselves a little more -- some of us to the point of rebellion. Rebelling is not always a bad trait if used wisely, but in the early stages of it, people tend to not think the issues through. When rebelling against an authority figure just to assert yourself and not for a particular and wise cause... well, that can be where the line is drawn on just how good this trait can be.
Luckily, by the time most of us are young adults, we have learned to temper our independence with some good old-fashioned common sense, learned through many experiences. This is where the differences in men and women usually come into play. Even though our society continues to grow more knowledgeable and permissive with each generation, there are still subconscious and taught behaviors of meekness and submission for females.
Being self-reliant and being independent are as different as night and day. Self-reliance is a good trait to have, especially if you live alone or are with a partner that is lacking in particular skills. However, knowing how to take care of yourself is different than owning your own unique individuality.
Independence belongs solely to you. You have your own thoughts, feelings, ideas, dreams, and desires that are not dependent on anyone else's whims. These belong only to you, and you are solid in these convictions. These pieces of independence are part of your persona, your freedom to act on your thoughts, and the ability to state your convictions without seeking another person's permission or approval.
As with anything, independence can be taken too far -- it can become egotistical and selfish if left unchecked by human emotion and common sense. People can be a bit too independent and outspoken. This tends to make others even more reserved and judgmental than normal. We all know one of these people, and if you are like me -- you tend to avoid the argument you know is sure to come from those who are never wrong!
As small children, we are taught to gain others approval, usually starting with our parents, then our teachers and lastly, our peers. When we fell from grace, we learn to hold back, a bit at a time. Eventually, many of us were driven to gain approval -- even at the cost of our own independence.
Usually around the teen years, our bid for independence starts to overpower our need for approval. We start to assert ourselves a little more -- some of us to the point of rebellion. Rebelling is not always a bad trait if used wisely, but in the early stages of it, people tend to not think the issues through. When rebelling against an authority figure just to assert yourself and not for a particular and wise cause... well, that can be where the line is drawn on just how good this trait can be.
Luckily, by the time most of us are young adults, we have learned to temper our independence with some good old-fashioned common sense, learned through many experiences. This is where the differences in men and women usually come into play. Even though our society continues to grow more knowledgeable and permissive with each generation, there are still subconscious and taught behaviors of meekness and submission for females.
Very nicely done! I've noticed the very same things, about how children in general and women in particular are raised, and how difficult it can be to overcome that inhibition of one's true self, and how doing so will piss some people off but will be worth it--especially when you find the people who appreciate you for just that reason!