"I don't actually take too long to get ready. Your brain is just so slow that it *feels* like a long time."
1. We Hide How Much We Eat
You know, sometimes you read something that just doesn’t sit right with you and you feel the need to let the world know that there’s something more to the story. This is me letting the world know that there’s definitely more behind these “Weird, Funny Facts About Women,” that strangely enough, happen to be factoids that people commonly believe. So let’s dig deeper.
As the author of this list put it, "women eat hell a lot, and they hide it!" Yes, we're sneaky little bastards, I tell ya.
Perhaps some do hide how much they eat, but I'd be willing to bet that for most of us women who are married or in long-term relationships, that ship has sailed. We've decided that if you happen to see us eat, the sky won’t actually fall, and you'll probably understand that. Hey! We're humans who need to eat and surprise, surprise! We actually enjoy food. We might not get as messy as you, but it's untrue that we always hide how much we really eat. On the other hand, I will admit that for most of my life, there was some truth to this one.
There was a time when not only did I hide what I ate, but that I ate at all. I was horrified to eat in front of my partner. Why, I cannot answer. I've been that way my entire life. Even as a four year old in preschool, I refused to eat breakfast or lunch because other classmates were around, so this weird-o thing sort of followed me throughout life.
It is true that some of us have struggled with eating in front of our partners, but that likely stems from the idea that we, as females, are supposed to be perfect beings who don't need food, water and a restroom to survive. But you calm your pretty head, now, because this not eating thing, or only eating enough to survive another five minutes thing usually subsides once we realize we're either bordering the lines of anorexia or we've come to the point where last night's pizza crumbs stuck to the table are looking mighty tasty.
As the author of this list put it, "women eat hell a lot, and they hide it!" Yes, we're sneaky little bastards, I tell ya.
Perhaps some do hide how much they eat, but I'd be willing to bet that for most of us women who are married or in long-term relationships, that ship has sailed. We've decided that if you happen to see us eat, the sky won’t actually fall, and you'll probably understand that. Hey! We're humans who need to eat and surprise, surprise! We actually enjoy food. We might not get as messy as you, but it's untrue that we always hide how much we really eat. On the other hand, I will admit that for most of my life, there was some truth to this one.
There was a time when not only did I hide what I ate, but that I ate at all. I was horrified to eat in front of my partner. Why, I cannot answer. I've been that way my entire life. Even as a four year old in preschool, I refused to eat breakfast or lunch because other classmates were around, so this weird-o thing sort of followed me throughout life.
It is true that some of us have struggled with eating in front of our partners, but that likely stems from the idea that we, as females, are supposed to be perfect beings who don't need food, water and a restroom to survive. But you calm your pretty head, now, because this not eating thing, or only eating enough to survive another five minutes thing usually subsides once we realize we're either bordering the lines of anorexia or we've come to the point where last night's pizza crumbs stuck to the table are looking mighty tasty.
2. We Complain
(www.Otoons.de)
Most people claim that women complain about everything. It's not uncommon to hear things like "women complain about every little thing," but if you ask what these complaints often are, you'll usually get answers such as "the house isn't clean, she says she's always picking up after everybody else" or "she's just a meanie because she's PMS-ing." Or the actual reason could be that she's sick and darn tired of cleaning up after everyone else.
Here's one that's often said about women and complaints: Hand Her a Million Bucks & She'll Spend it All on Clothing, but Complain She Has Nothing to Wear.
Untrue. Completely untrue. As one guy put it, we'll spend a million bucks on clothing, complain the next month that we have nothing to wear and our wardrobes and jewelry boxes consist of one-time use only items. We'll never wear any of it more than once, twice at most, according to that man. Funny because as I type this, I'm wearing a T-shirt that I've had since I was 13 years old and in the eighth grade. No joke. And yes, even at 23, I proudly wear the words “A Freakin’ Rockstar” across my chest.
I can't speak for everybody, but I'm pretty sure that almost all of us girls wear most of the items in our wardrobes more than just a few times, unless this guy thinks the only items in our wardrobes are our wedding and prom dresses, and in that case, I think we could justify a good shopping spree! Seriously though, most women wear the majority of what they have, and when we say "Crap! I don't have anything to wear," that usually means we haven't washed clothes, and therefore we have "nothing" to wear. Perhaps we should remember to say the word "clean" after "nothing." I shouldn’t go assuming that everybody has read Women are From Venus, Men are From Mars. They clearly tell us that's what a woman means when she makes that statement (that she means she has nothing clean to wear!). Jeez.
Love this article!!!! I am still laughing my butt off...
Aw you are precious, thank you! It meant a lot to me to see your comment.
I showed this to my bf and he said you forgot one. "They're always right." Well, duh! Thank you for another wonderful article