Don't Get Into A Fight With A Penis Pump...

Gingerly, I dabbed a bit of concealer over the bridge of my nose and under my right eye. Since I rarely wear makeup to work, I figured this should do the trick! I grabbed my glasses, swiped the brush through my hair and made my usual mad dash to the kitchen for my coffee. As I zipped around the entry my husband, stopped, backed up and shook his head. "Still see it?" I asked, he nodded, I then went back to the bathroom.

I popped my contacts in - well, one of them anyway, the other one was very difficult to get in courtesy of my swollen eyelid, black eye, and cracked or broken nose. Grabbing my hubby's sexiest pair of shades, I finally exited the bathroom knowing that my black eye might be hidden now--but what the heck was I going to do at work all day? I had a few clients coming in for final design proofing.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed my coffee. My husband was looking at me with a sad and concerned look. "I'm sorry," he said bringing his hand up to my cheek, "I didn't mean to break your nose last night". As I flinched from his touch on the battered side of my face, I started giggling. Next thing I knew, we were both laughing so hard that we had tears running out of our eyes.

I had gotten my ass kicked by a penis pump. One that was fully... cocked and loaded. **Note to self- next time we are playing with dangerous toys, do NOT experiment with any position that places me in the direct range of fire.** While playing around with the pump, my husband had this wonderful idea, and yes, I fully supported it. What if I was to lay my head on his side and then be able to watch him play with the pump? Once I figured out the pressure he liked, then it would be my turn to tease and please him with it. Sounded pretty smart, right? Have him show me what he likes and then let me play - no harm or overdone pumping.

All went well, until - I upped the fun level by grabbing a new vibrator that I could not wait to try out. I had just gotten it in the mail from Eden - yes, Eden, you may be partly to blame! (Okay, maybe not - but it was your point’s system that allowed me to purchase the unforgettable penis pump!) Well, let's just say that my loving, and oh- so informative hubby, got a bit distracted by my new vibrator and the wonderfully sensual things that it was doing to my body.

Just as I informed him that I was going to… “WHAP!!” Stars and darkness appeared in my eye! The pain was terrible - my nose was leaking everywhere – what the hell had happened? I do not normally squirt from my nose -but there is something too - the throbbing and the pain!

My husband jumps up, getting off the bed. WHAP! Again -across my nose! With tears flowing copiously down my face, I realize I am in a serious life and death match… with the penis pump! And that baby was fully loaded - if you get my meaning.

Blood pouring out of my nose, my poor three-legged husband tryed to get away to grab a towel to help me - I wrestled that pump down and pressed the release button. No way was the pump going to beat him up as well! It was bad enough getting my butt kicked by it - but both of us? Not if I had anything to say about it!! That pump might have won the round – what a full on deal breaker - but I won the war. With one push of the release button - it surrendered its hold on my husband, therefore making it incapable of continuing to beat the heck out of my face.

My husband was horrified at the damage his 'cocked' and loaded pump had done to my face....all in the name of fun and safety.

He grabbed me a towel, and ice pack, and I took a rain check. After all, I fought the pump, and the pump won. So, what did I tell my employees and clients? Not a dang thing! I just smiled as I went into my office, told my employees that I did not want to be disturbed and shut my door.