"slang, often disparaging : a woman who enjoys the company of male homosexuals"
What catches the eye in the dictionary definition of Fag Hag? The precursor, 'often disparaging,' speaks to how the general public views Fag Hags. But why is that? Why do we often picture a flabby, unhappy woman simpering after a gaggle of lovely gay men? The relationship between Fag and Hag is much more than that. I have long considered myself a Fag Hag, and have only had negative connotations put upon the title by those unfamiliar with the dichotomy of the relationship.
I came across this lovely definition, via Urban Dictionary. This definition, along with many of the others represented on Urban Dictionary, stresses the honor and companionship involved and not the desperation that so often is linked to being a Fag Hag. Some women, like myself, find this type of relationship so much more supportive than relationships with other women. They are able to be fabulous and free instead of feeling judged. That's what I have most always found to be true with my gay male friends. Yes, they will tell you your makeup is jacked up, but they damn well will fix it up for you too!
Another misconception about Fag Hags is that we have a hard time finding dates. This was perpetuated by the ever bumbling and boyfriend-less Grace on Will & Grace. I have found something else to be more true, based on my own and Fag Hag friends' experiences. We have no trouble finding dates at all. It's that we choose not to date just anyone. I would go to gay bars to have fun and not be bothered by stupid pick up lines and cheap guys only looking for a booty call. Some of my most memorable nights in New York City are the ones with one or another of my gay male friends.
I salute all the Fag Hags out there. Keep on playing in glitter and listening to show tunes. Have that 8th Cosmo. Most of all, stay fabulous!