BDSM is an acronym. In fact it is actually three acronyms together. It stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism. So what are these terms though?

B/D:
Bondage and discipline -- bondage is the act of restraining someone. This can be done using leather or metal restraints, rope, scarves, really anything, even including just words. You can restrain someone to themselves (arms to arms for example) or to an object (to their bed for example). Disciple in pretty self explanatory; it is the conventional sense of discipline. There are repercussions for actions deemed unacceptable. This can be a painful punishment, but it can also be writing essays, sitting in a corner, being denied sexual relief or really anything. Discipline is connected to bondage, because they are both about restricting movement. They are about denying someone to move and act as they normally do, and that is why the two are grouped together.

D/S:
Domination and Submission-- Domination and submission refers to sexual practices that create a power dynamic. One person in the relationship gains control over the other person. They gain the ability to command them (as far as both parties have consented). It is about one person giving up their autonomy to another individual. It can be acted out in some role playing (such as a cop and a civilian) or constantly exist 24 hours a day, where one individuals submits to another.

S/M
Sadism and Masochism -- Sadism and Masochism is one of the most controversial aspects of BDSM. A sadist is a person who gets gratification from inflicting pain on another individual. A masochist is someone who gets gratification from being harmed by another individual. Often times slapping, biting, pinching, flogging, clamps, and various other toys are utilized by people interested in this aspect.

As you can see there is a lot of overlap between the three sections. For example a person might enjoy being tied up, and then spanked. Or a person might like enforcing their domination on another individual by teasing them, then tying them up and denying them an orgasm. Really BDSM is a very loose collection of terms that describe some common interest people have. So, if a partner ever says "I am into BDSM", you will likely have to ask and get some more detail from them about what specifically they mean.

Often times people are curious why someone would enjoy partaking in these activities. They find it hard to understand why some one would choose to be hit, slapped, bit, degraded, or restrained. Now each person has their own reason why they like it, but I thought I would share mine.

To me, one of the largest parts about BDSM is control. I am a masochistic submissive. So, I like giving up control and I like receiving pain. I find there are a lot of responsibilities day to day. For me, that includes school, work, and family. You have obligations, you have promises, you have expectations. All of which are fine, but can be stressful at times. When you are tied up and restrained and you are told what to do, those all vanish. There is an absolute freedom, a lifting of all responsibilities, when you give up control. If you do not make decisions, you do not need to worry about the consequences. And that head space of freedom and carefree attitude is wonderful. There is just a joy in that.

There is also a high level of love when you trust someone. To place yourself in a situation where you are vulnerable and could easily be taken advantage of. That requires trust and respect. So every time I let my girlfriend tie me up, it is an act of love and trust. It strengthens our bond. You have to rely on communication, both verbal and non-verbal, and to me there is something wonderful about that.

Finally, there are endorphins. These are normal compounds your body produces in response to pain, injury, and other things. These are the feel good hormones. People talk about runner's highs, and exercise highs. Well, these are what do that. When you are struck with something (such as a flogger) there is a release of endorphins. I find the endorphins far outweigh the pain and create an overall pleasant sensation.

Each person will have their own reasons for liking BDSM. Mine are just an example of why. But what I would like to share is that some people do not choose to like BDSM. It simply exists. Since a young age, I have always been interested in being tied-up and it has slowly evolved into a sexual nature. I would liken it to being gay, bisexual or transgendered. It is an integral part of some people's identities that simply exists and always will. And sometimes that the explanation for being into BDSM, simply boils down to "because I like it".

So, hopefully, you are now familiar with what BDSM is and why someone might be interested in it. I will continue writing articles on BDSM and, more specifically, the activities and toys associated with them and how you can go about trying them out.