"Mothers are all slightly insane."
Not enough time in the day
A mother is a mother, whether they are a working mom, stay at home mom, single or otherwise. Things are tough everywhere. The job is never finished. Now if you have a bank account like Angelina Jolie, and 12 nannies to clean the house, cook the food and raise your kids, well then you probably won't understand anything I'm about to say. But if you have had to call out of work for a sick child and as a result lose half of your much needed paycheck, or have even seen what they charge for daycare these days, you will totally understand where I am coming from.
There are a few reader questions I would like to answer in this article. One being: why I do what I do. Well, it’s simple. When I was working in my previous career I would take home about 800 per week after taxes. That was with at least 60 hours of work each week. Now after paying just one week of childcare, I would be left with about 300 dollars! Yes, I used to spend about $500 per week JUST on childcare alone. That was for 2 full time children and 1 special needs full time slot. And being as how I do have a special needs child, whenever he got too much for the daycare to handle, they would simply call me and tell me to come pick him up. That is just more money out the window. It was impossible. Being a single mother with bills, I had no other options. So I do what I do, for my family.
But just because I don’t pay that childcare bill anymore does not mean I am in the clear. Yes, I make good money, when I can work. I have a lot of issues with anxiety. Sometimes, I can't even force myself to get online to work. I have been through a lot in the past couple of years. Not just the typical day to day shit, but I finally broke free from an abusive crack head called my husband. But that isn't where it ended. I have spent the last 2 years continuously stressing about him finding out where we are. I have had to move my children from town to town and even out of state at one point to throw him off our trail. I know it is just a matter of time before he catches up again. And it wouldn't be a big deal if it was because he wanted a relationship with his children, but he doesn't. He wants me. His property. That is one source of my anxiety. Another, I lost my sister, he one person I could truly call my best friend and soul mate, just months ago. Sometimes, I just don’t want to work. Other times, the kids give me reasons why I can’t. I have a better chance of getting pregnant from my virtual flings than getting a night out! That is enough to drive any person crazy, mother or not!
Being a cam girl is just like any other job. You have to show up and work in order to get the money. Granted, if I don't show up, I don’t lose my job, but I don’t get paid either. But I would much rather be able to spend my nights working, get my kids up and see them off to school, and sleep while they are away, just so I can spend the rest of the days with them and still get the bills paid. I had the career where I sent the kids to school and was home in time to put them to bed. That wasn't enough for me. So, before anyone tries to judge a person by what they do for money, they should realize, sometimes, it’s just a mother, providing for her children.
** And to the wonderful person who sent their not so nice comment about me to my inbox, until you walk a mile in my shoes, or the CEO in her ivory business tower, or even the whore on the corner, don’t act like you know the right path for me, or anyone else. Everyone has their decisions to make in life, based on their own life. I do this to support my children and be here for them, not because I am lost, or broken, or out of control. I am a good mother and I would do anything for my children. Once you understand that, you will understand why I do it all. **
There are a few reader questions I would like to answer in this article. One being: why I do what I do. Well, it’s simple. When I was working in my previous career I would take home about 800 per week after taxes. That was with at least 60 hours of work each week. Now after paying just one week of childcare, I would be left with about 300 dollars! Yes, I used to spend about $500 per week JUST on childcare alone. That was for 2 full time children and 1 special needs full time slot. And being as how I do have a special needs child, whenever he got too much for the daycare to handle, they would simply call me and tell me to come pick him up. That is just more money out the window. It was impossible. Being a single mother with bills, I had no other options. So I do what I do, for my family.
But just because I don’t pay that childcare bill anymore does not mean I am in the clear. Yes, I make good money, when I can work. I have a lot of issues with anxiety. Sometimes, I can't even force myself to get online to work. I have been through a lot in the past couple of years. Not just the typical day to day shit, but I finally broke free from an abusive crack head called my husband. But that isn't where it ended. I have spent the last 2 years continuously stressing about him finding out where we are. I have had to move my children from town to town and even out of state at one point to throw him off our trail. I know it is just a matter of time before he catches up again. And it wouldn't be a big deal if it was because he wanted a relationship with his children, but he doesn't. He wants me. His property. That is one source of my anxiety. Another, I lost my sister, he one person I could truly call my best friend and soul mate, just months ago. Sometimes, I just don’t want to work. Other times, the kids give me reasons why I can’t. I have a better chance of getting pregnant from my virtual flings than getting a night out! That is enough to drive any person crazy, mother or not!
Being a cam girl is just like any other job. You have to show up and work in order to get the money. Granted, if I don't show up, I don’t lose my job, but I don’t get paid either. But I would much rather be able to spend my nights working, get my kids up and see them off to school, and sleep while they are away, just so I can spend the rest of the days with them and still get the bills paid. I had the career where I sent the kids to school and was home in time to put them to bed. That wasn't enough for me. So, before anyone tries to judge a person by what they do for money, they should realize, sometimes, it’s just a mother, providing for her children.
** And to the wonderful person who sent their not so nice comment about me to my inbox, until you walk a mile in my shoes, or the CEO in her ivory business tower, or even the whore on the corner, don’t act like you know the right path for me, or anyone else. Everyone has their decisions to make in life, based on their own life. I do this to support my children and be here for them, not because I am lost, or broken, or out of control. I am a good mother and I would do anything for my children. Once you understand that, you will understand why I do it all. **
Another great article like always, Lillie! I don't doubt that you are a great mother, and it is just down right sickening that people are so quick to judge you as a bad mother just because of the line of work you are doing! That's complete bullshit; A good mother does WHATEVER it takes to provide for her children, and that's how I've always seen it. I'm actually pretty good at putting myself into others situations; it's something that I wish other people would try to attempt. At least that way, you gain a better understanding of people in general.
I would also like to express my condolences on the loss of your sister. I know there's nothing I can possibly say to make you feel any better, but I will say that you aren't alone and I'm always willing to listen if you need someone to listen to you. You can even bitch at me, and I'll take it like a champ! I actually had to deal with two deaths this year; the most recent was my favorite aunt who died on July 4th. She was so wild, spontaneous, and just down right fun. She was also one of the only relatives that checked in on me, no matter how busy she was. Now, I don't get any calls or e-mails from any relatives...
I don't have any children and I most likely won't because I have all sorts of weird stuff going on in my fallopian tubes. My sister has a daughter and two autistic sons. I see all the struggles, anxieties and calls from school that she has to deal with, and I know it must be incredibly tough. Kudos to strong women like you for doing what it takes and choosing a career that actually provides for your family. Not to mention, a career that is on your terms!
Wow and now you see why I don't say to much because you got people putting their nose in where it don't belong. I do it for my kids too and it is easier. Child care is really expensive these days. I pay a lady now at a in home daycare and it still costs me a good deal a couple hours a week. Sorry you got the ass who did that to you. They will not understand and there is all kinds of people out there that snide up at us the same way. I don't care they are not taking care of my kids or paying my bills I am. So they can kiss off.
My fav client just wanted me to rub my dirty feet in his face while he jacked off. I loved it. You keep on doin what you do darlin. There are a million assholes out there posing as 'peace officers' who are only out to power trip and control. There are bill collectors and telemarketers and meter maids and people who work at the DMV who all make a living ruining people's days. You sell pleasure for a living. I'm about to write an article about boundaries and how different any kind of sex work is without them. You stick to yours and your karma will stay awesome and your kids get fed and you can sleep at night knowing that what you do for a living brings HAPPINESS to people- not everyone can say that!
i'd like to see you work but a. That's private and b. I'm not payin for it haha ( although I sure would pay a guy or a girl to go down on ME for once lol) .
On another note, I lost my dad two months ago so I have an idea what you are going through and girl you are strong, you've been through some serious shit, you will be okay. Thanx for another good read and I will publish an article for the same column soon.
People need to get off their high horse and really ask themselves, "Is there ANYTHING you wouldn't do for your children?" If you answer yes, then you really need to re-evaluate your commitment as a parent. There is NOTHING I wouldn't do for my children. I have considered looking into the cam thing to help bring more funds into the home. It is so hard to look at your children and say, "Sorry, I can only afford to get you two new outfits and a back back for school. I can't afford to get your haircut or those new shoes until next month." If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all, unless we are in the bedroom, then bring on the naughty talk!
Mr. BB would be a client come true! I would love to just go about my day on the cam and have guys get off like that. Come watch me do housework, or work on my nursing school homework or mend the latest coat to lose a button. OMG!
Still love reading your articles. Have been playing catch-up on them today.
hey Lillie, I just wanted to let you know I sat down and read all of the articles you wrote today, and loved them all. I have always been curious about this topic and love your outlook on it. Thanks and keep writing!