Having sex after having a baby is a very different experience than sex before parenthood. Sex after a C-section is even more different, and can be even more traumatizing. As a mother of two, that has had two C-sections, body image is something that I struggle with everyday. I know firsthand how hard it can be to view yourself as the sexy, beautiful, appealing woman that you are. It’s important to remember that beauty is more than skin deep, but when you can’t, there are some things that can help.
My own scars are more visible then others, as I have had both a vertical and a horizontal C-section. I was already a plus size woman, and after having my two children, I fear there is no hope of a flat stomach in my future. I am OK with that, and my fiancé says that he is also OK with that. But we always have that little voice in the back of our heads, telling us that we should look differently, that the woman of every man’s dreams is the woman who is on the cover of the magazines. What is the first step to helping your self-esteem? Tell that little voice to shut the hell up! Take one day, and really look at the other women in your town. How many of them actually look like the supermodels on the cover of magazines? I bet you won’t find many. It’s unrealistic.
Make a point to look in the mirror and find something about yourself that you DO like: something that is different from anyone else's features, something that sets you apart, or makes you feel sexy. I love my hair, so I make a point of taking the time to curl it as often as I can, it is something that makes me feel super sexy. To the men reading this, make sure that you take the time to notice! Tell your girl how good she looks, and notice when she does something special to her hair. It really can make all the difference to a woman’s self-confidence, and change the way that she feels about herself.
We all have our shame areas. That one spot that we would rather permanently cover than have to see on a daily basis. For me, it’s my scar. When I had my first C-section, I had a normal horizontal incision. It is hardly even visible. For my second C-section, I had other health issues going on, and had to have a vertical incision from the base of my belly button all the way down, closed with staples. For me, it was horrific. The marks, from the staples, were just as gruesome as the incision itself. I felt like Frankenstein, when I looked at myself in the mirror. But hey, even Frankenstein found love... right? When I am feeling really down about my body, it helps to think about why it looks the way it does. I have my scars, as ugly as they are, because I brought my beautiful daughters into this world. I would be covered in scars, if it meant the difference of them being here. I am a warrior who fought for their lives, and these are my battle wounds. If there is anything sexier than a hot woman warrior, let me know!
Our scars may not be what we want to look at everyday, for the rest of our lives, but I find nothing sexier than being a mother, who brought life into this world. So own the struggle that it took to get there.