I see so many polls on here about what would you change about yourself. What do you hate about your body etc? I vote, as a woman I can't help it. I think everyone out there has a troubled spot on their body that they want to change. A big booty, big boobs, a muffin top, and stretch marks. I could go on forever pointing out things I have read on here or heard from friends. You hear it on TV as well. How Lady Gaga gained weight. How Jessica S. gained too much weight during her pregnancy. If we are not judging ourselves we are judging each other. That hurts not just me but it should hurt women everywhere.

I grew up in a long line of women who are mean. They have nothing nice to say about anyone. They cut you down to make themselves feel better. That is the only thing I can come up with that makes since. My grandmother told my mom to get rid of me from the get go. My mom told me she didn't want me. My mom never told me I was pretty. From a young age I learned to hate looking at myself in a mirror or in a picture. What was looking back at me was not worth anyone’s time. By time I reached high school and most girls were wearing make-up, I learned to put it on in 2 minutes so not to have look at myself. 10 minutes total with my hair. I never accepted a date very often because I figured it was a mercy date.

When I was sixteen my mom took me to a plastic surgeon. She wanted to see if he could fix my face. She wanted him to put in cheek implants, chin implants, and something else I think. It was too much for her at the time and by the time she had the money I was 18 and out of the house. Not that she didn't keep trying.

I believe that if you change yourself and it makes you feel better go for it. I am all for that. What I want for all of us is that we need to change the way we look at ourselves. To live healthy inside and out. To change the way we think about the negative views about images. We have more people in the spot light who are shedding the stereotype and living a healthy life. A happy life not the "oh I have to impress you by being 100 lbs,” life.

Right now I do not like everything about my body. I am working on it. But I can look in the mirror now. I have to admit sometimes I like what I see. Sometimes I fight that demon and want to run. But I stand there and say the good things. There are more good than bad. Yes I would like to get rid of some things. But those little flaws in my face are little things. My body is something of a mystery to me. I have been learning what I like about it and not so much. What makes it feel good? I have had two kids so I have a thick belly. It is something I can live with. I know I can change some things about myself and some things I cannot. So I am changing what I can. It is slow, so I am learning to love it all, stretch marks and all. I believe that if you love yourself then your relationships are better. Sex is always better because you can let go of yourself more. I am almost 40 and my sex life has gotten a whole lot better since I have been letting go. I hope everyone out there will join me in loving themselves just the way they are.