6 Realistic Ways to Increase Confidence

Empowerment Do something that empowers you, even if it’s just painting a room by yourself. Small steps, and often having a sense of independence can build confidence. Many times it’s not all about my looks or compliments that boost my confidence. It’s also important that I recognize my ability to do certain tasks on my own, without the help of someone else. It's even better if it’s a task I didn’t expect to be able to handle. It is empowering to know that I can fix a computer problem or paint an entire room by myself, including moving all the heavy furniture. Those aren’t big things, but they are some things that have played parts in my confidence levels. Being productive, doing something I may not have known I was capable of all... that brings me a sense of empowerment and confidence, which in my opinion, go hand in hand.

Feeling Sexy -- for You Buy a piece of lingerie only for you. By this, I mean sometimes we tend to wear what others like, so taking a moment to totally forget about pleasing someone else and considering what you might wear if you were only doing it for your own feel-goods, what would you choose? For me, buying lingerie (and wearing it) is sometimes the biggest confidence booster of all. Most of all, though, choosing something that I feel like a princess in is what’s important. This is what makes me feel most confident, whereas if I were to choose say a cupless, crotchless, faux leather teddy only because someone else would like that look would not necessarily make me feel confident, but more out of my comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong, getting out of your comfort zone is something we can all benefit from, but when it comes to building confidence, one should aim to step into what they feel sexy in, not what they feel least comfortable in. Maybe feeling like a princess isn’t your style. Say you’re more the faux leather, crotchless kind of gal but you’ve been wearing frilly, feminine lingerie because you think it’s what someone else likes... Try going with a piece you like, even if your spouse isn’t giving it 5 stars. You’ll feel confident, and when we feel confident, we often feel like sex.


Knowing what diminishes your confidence. Identify what types of things take you from feeling like a confident woman on top of the world to the girl wearing shades and a floppy hat to hide what you feel are flaws. Maybe messy hair makes you feel this way. Hey, we can’t help what makes us feel less than our best, so there’s nothing wrong with identifying those things.

The next step would be to either try to stop letting said thing affect your confidence, or take the easier route – a heavy-duty flat iron, or whatever makes you happiest with your hair.

While it can be very confident-boosting to step a little outside your regular comfort zone, it’s just as important to not overstep too much. For example, if you’re planning a night out at someplace casual and you’re used to wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but chose to wear a fluffy dress, you might end up feeling that you’ve overstepped your confident zone, which would have the opposite effect of what you’re going for. When you’re stepping out of that comfort zone, it’s best to step just a few inches outside your box, not a few yards. Over time, you can take more steps, but you can’t just go to the extremes without the feeling of over doing, over stepping, and just feeling out of place. So, instead of the big, pink fluffy dress... a casual skirt and top that make you feel sexy would probably be more appropriate.