All of those things are normally associated with something being sexy, and when they are all well and good, but how many of those things occur on a daily basis? Looking at that list a bubble bath might occur a couple of times in a week, especially if it’s been a stressful few days. But are the rest of those things realistic in an everyday setting?

I’d say no. What I find a lot of the time is that some of the sexiest things in life are not the things that are overtly sexy in the view of society, but the little things that stoke our fires.

Not everyday is going to be a “dress to impress” day at your office. Some days you’re just putting on the clothes that are not in the dirty clothes hamper and going about your business. But for me some of the sexiest outfits that I see my wife wear are the days where she’s not dressing to the nines and wearing that great dress, but the days when she takes just a little more time in the morning getting ready. She’s not just pulling her hair into a ponytail and rushing out of the house. It’s that day when she wears a skirt that she looks good in; though few others would probably find it sexy. But her wearing that, and putting on a little makeup and combing her hair a different way suddenly get me going. Just like the days when I don’t follow my normal pattern of jeans and a blazer to the office but instead wear some slacks and button up shirt. Even though no one else is going to notice, I suddenly feel a lot sexier and confident in myself.

What else is sexy that you find in everyday life? A great thing for me is when my wife gets out of the shower. She’s in her robe, fresh and clean, and when you rub your hand along her leg it’s smooth from being freshly shaved. Again, it’s not something lots of people would find super sexy, but it’s something I love and appreciate.

What do you find sexy in everyday life? It can be something as simple as the way your significant other sips their wine at dinner, or chops the vegetables. For my wife I think it’s the fact that I actually enjoy chopping vegetables and cooking dinner that is sexy to her! Bringing her flowers, not necessarily roses but any type of flowers, just because it’s Tuesday is something that I know is appreciated. You don’t have to go to a lot of trouble to feel sexy, it’s something that can be found in all sorts of daily activities.

Think about something that you find sexy that most people wouldn’t. It can be something as simple as some of the things that I’ve mentioned here, or whatever you find sexy.

Now think about how that simple thing makes you feel. It makes you excited, it makes you feel sexy.

Now think of something else that you find sexy. Now another. Go through your daily routine and think of all the things that you might find sexy.

I used a notepad when I did this the other day and by the time I’d gotten to the end of the day I’d filled up a legal-page piece of paper with lots of things that I find sexy. They were things that I did, my wife did, views I saw, foods I liked to smell. All little things, but when you add them all up and look at them in totality, my day was filled with all sorts of sexy moments.

So when I’m having a bad day, or don’t feel very attractive – which happens for sure, none of us are perfect – I’ve started thinking about that piece of paper. Usually one of the things on the list are either happening or nearby and suddenly my focus has shifted. Now instead of that project that is going so wrong at work, I’m thinking of the view of the city that I get when I’m heading home, right there at dusk when all of the lights in the skyscrapers are on. There aren’t many views sexier than that to me. That view is more than just a view, it holds possibilities of an evening for not just myself, but everyone in the city, and that possibility and potential is exciting to me.

We all have these things in our daily life that excite us, make us feel attractive and sexy. Not every sexy moment in this world has to be brought to us by Victoria’s Secret or a jewelry store. Just that moment before bed when you kiss your lover goodnight and that kiss turns into something a little bit more than you had planned on. The next thing you know, you’re having a night you’re not likely to forget, all in an everyday sexy sort of way.