Whether we are willing or comfortable admitting it, each of us as an automatic response system — the Machine if you will — that reacts sometimes knee jerkily to the topic of sex. Even those of us accustomed to exploring its mysteries — self-proclaimed sex-positives or simply the less inhibited — are products of our environment, pasts and unique sexual experiences that have left their indelible mark on our attitudes towards sexuality.
I look no further than my own life to illuminate this point. My European-born mother was comfortable with nudity and the biology of our bodies, so I learned by age seven how babies were made. Running naked through the house post-bath or sunbathing topless were opportunities to enjoy fresh air on clean skin sans shame. Mom explained more than just the mechanics of procreation to us – I remember asking her about oral sex and kissing for example — though she had serious attitudes about when making love was acceptable, and when it was not. Within the context of marriage and for the purpose of having children — acceptable. Anything else — not acceptable.
Dad was more modest, a product of his Catholic upbringing, so around him I learned to cover up, to stifle my curiosity and keep my thoughts to myself. The one time I dared talk to him about my changing body, he quickly told me that was a chat to have with mom. It wasn’t until he was in his eighties that my father even mentioned ‘privates’ in the presence of two of his adult children, and when it happened, both my sister and me dropped our jaws and giggled conspiratorially when he was out of earshot.
I look no further than my own life to illuminate this point. My European-born mother was comfortable with nudity and the biology of our bodies, so I learned by age seven how babies were made. Running naked through the house post-bath or sunbathing topless were opportunities to enjoy fresh air on clean skin sans shame. Mom explained more than just the mechanics of procreation to us – I remember asking her about oral sex and kissing for example — though she had serious attitudes about when making love was acceptable, and when it was not. Within the context of marriage and for the purpose of having children — acceptable. Anything else — not acceptable.
Dad was more modest, a product of his Catholic upbringing, so around him I learned to cover up, to stifle my curiosity and keep my thoughts to myself. The one time I dared talk to him about my changing body, he quickly told me that was a chat to have with mom. It wasn’t until he was in his eighties that my father even mentioned ‘privates’ in the presence of two of his adult children, and when it happened, both my sister and me dropped our jaws and giggled conspiratorially when he was out of earshot.
Great article, as usual, Tinamarie. I'm surprised there aren't more comments so far, but then this whole spiritual + sex subject can be a bit new or foreign to many. Especially due to personal experiences of uber-dogma and artificial chasm between body and spirit woven over eons.
I was going to write a comment beginning with...
"And now for a DIY sexercise for the readers of Tinamarie's article here...
SEX AS PRAYER
“May all beings be happy.
May they live in safety and joy.” ~ Metta Sutra
(...)"
I got about three or four paragraphs in when I realized it wasn't the time for me to do so and that it may be best as an article/essay on its own (part of this is the craftsman-scribbler in me needs time to polish something like this).
The point was to give your readers a literally hands-on way to experiment with one application of experiencing sex as a sacred or spiritual thing with oneself and/or a partner through the niche suggestion/practice you are familiar with at my site, CompassionSensuality.Net.
As you know, it's dogma-less soul freeware and while a bit unusual, there may be some interest in trying it out for her or himself. A kind of Song of Solomon 2.0 experience of sorts :o)
And speaking of which, I have strange but totally true anecdote about that Biblical passage that is part of the long and winding road of my own discovery, exploration and experience of sex-as-prayer. I won't get into the details here, but it was a turning point in my life back in 1983 when I knew nothing about sacred sex. Not only that, I was in jail accused of a gruesome crime I never committed, and it involved a woman at the ashram I had been living prior to my arrest.
Reading that passage may have led to my very first conscious sacred sex experience as what eventually became what I call Compassion or Metta sensuality.
But that will be for another day.
In the mean time, one can visit my site below.
Whether one is a woman or man and irregardless of one's orientation or relationship status (or seeming lack thereof), my artsy "Yoni Metta" video on the homepage will give your reader's a sense of what this approach is about. Then they can click through to the page with the suggestion of how to try this, "The Simple Heart of Compassion Sensuality."
_______________________
OK, dude's gotta go, sister T.
Keep on widening that breadth of writing on all of this.
It's fun watching you keep expanding your wingspan de Muse d'Amour.
Philip Steven Knight
CompassionSensuality.Net
[https://www.compassionsensuality.net]
Yes... sacredness lives in the beat of our hearts, the shiver of sexual joy, the bliss of divine connection with another.
Really good article Tina Marie - thanks for sending it to me. I like the way you have clearly expressed things here and think that it reads very well and many people will find it very interesting and helpful indeed. As Phillip says, the whole subject is still a tricky one and even those who are open about sexuality shy away from this angle!
I feel you are really getting to the roots of things with your insights here and I know that it does take a considerable amount of courage to follow this particular path of self-inquiry. All will eventually have to reconcile thes apparent opposites for it is here that the sacred or primal wound is.
My own experiences have shown me that all of our history, conditioning and beliefs are the effect of our projections onto Source/God/All That Is and are a result of the perceived split in our Being. In other words, if we did not believe ourselves to be separate from Source, then we would have no need to make up reasons for it.
Blessings,
Lynn
Great Article. I wanted to add that the entire debate between religions' take on sexualty can be boiled down to one singular concept: Control. Sexuality is the single most potent force within us, which superceeds even our survivial instinct. This is an energetic force which can be used for creative purposes beyond just procreation.
By controlling this primal force, religions have been able to control their gullible followers since their inception. Only Tantra has allowed for freedom of expression in the physical realm removing the childish notions of sin, guilt and shame from an experience which can be transcedent and one which alters consciousness effortlessly.
There exists now a school of thought which for the first time fully embraces sexuality and spirituality even beyond the tantric domain by not just acknowledging the fact that we are both humans having a spiritual experience AND spirits having a human experience but by actively celebrating it. Its called Spiritual Hedonism. Check it out for yourself [https://www.spiritualHedonism.Me]
Cheers,
Armand
I like this article
nice