Moms in France who are wondering if their sons might be gay can now buy an app for just 1.99 Euros or U.S. $2.69, that will confirm or dispel their concern. Or they could just ask, or wait until he thinks it’s any of their beeswax, which are free.

The app gives moms 20 questions that will let her know one way or the other which way their son swings. The first question is “Does he have a boyfriend?”

KIDDING. Queries include how extensive his grooming habits are, whether he has dress sense, reads “sports papers” … or likes musicals. RFI reports on what mom probably had to do with it:

“Are you divorced?” it asks, going on to suggest that there might be “a certain absence of the father” or, alternatively, that the progenitor might be “very authoritarian”.

If it turns our your son is gay you’re encouraged to “Accept it,” which sounds fine … but, as RFI points out, the not-so-gay-friendly claws come out when you get to rejoice that he’s not: “You have nothing to worry about,” it says, and adds, “…you have a very good chance of being a grandmother with all the joy that brings.”

Because it’s all about vous, oui?