The Naughty and Nice List
Louis from New Jersey asks:
Dr. Dick, who’s on your naughty and nice list this year?
Funny you should ask, because I was just thinking about this very thing...
The Nice
My fellow contributors here at the kick-ass SEXIS!
GGG—Good, Giving and Game.
Give To Get—mutuality.
Couples who masturbate together: Those that jerk it together work it together.
Reading erotica aloud to your partner.
Cleis Press.
The WE-Vibe.
Iowa, Washington State.
The truth!
Sex positivity. Who’d have thought that being nice to people would be such a revolutionary idea?
Coming Out.
Self-awareness (+1 if you can add Self-Love to it).
Being open-minded.
Taking responsibility for your eroticism.
Positive body image (Santa!)
G-spots, and those who minister to them.
P-spots, and those who minister to them.
Sex toys.
Prostate self-awareness.
Foreskins.
Wet dreams.
How-to videos.
Surrogate partners.
Reverse cowgirl position.
Sex education, not that abstinence-only bunk.
Blowjobs, and all those who give them.
Cunnilingus, and all those who perform it.
Nipples, and those who kiss them, caress them, pinch them, bite them, or clamp them.
The Fleshlight.
Informed decision making.
Fighting fair (and I’m not talking ’bout UFC).
Butt plugs. Or, to quote the great Arthur Fonzarelli, “Sit on it.”
Tristan Taormino, for helping the world celebrate that most scrumptious of body parts, the ass.
The Naughty
Being a Christmasochist (someone who continues to subject themselves to Christmas activities despite feeling painfully awkward).
Maine, New York: We are paying attention, you know.
President Obama for stalling out on DADT (Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell).
David Letterman, Mark Sanford, Tiger Woods—adultery is not polyamory, gentlemen.
Autoerotic Asphyxiation.
Deception—unless you’re doing magic tricks with a double-ended dildo.
Wide stances—unless you’re a corner linebacker.
Closet cases. Live it, love it!
Self-involvedness and selfishness .
Passive-aggressiveness.
Being judgmental.
Homophobia.
Ageism .
Body stereotyping.
Barebacking porn.
Sex-negativity.
Sexual compulsions.
Abstinence-only miseducation.
Cybersex.
Impeding a woman’s right to choose. Here’s looking at you, Congressman Stupak.
Performance anxiety. Or, as Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”
STIs.
Tea-baggers—the Glenn Beck variety.
The Sexual Taliban.
Sexism.
Infant circumcision.
Sexual repression.
Sexual conversion therapy: Pray your own gay away, folks; leave my gay alone, please.
Nicely Naughty
Polyamory.
RACK—Risk Aware Consensual Kink.
Rope bondage. Those years spent in Boy Scouts really do come in handy!
Sex work and those who do it.
Female-identified porn.
Stripping for your partner.
Pegging.
Genital piercings.
Sex swings. Swing, baby, swing!
Fem Dom. Because she knows what’s best for you, darling!
Fetishes. The more, the better.
Watersports.
Erotic massage. Especially if you’re doing it to me.
Tea-baggers—you know what I’m talking about!
Dirty talk. See Erotic massage.
Cuckolding.
E-stim. In case you were dying to know what Dr. Dick wants in his stocking this year...
3-ways. And 4-ways, 5-ways...
Crossdressing/forced-fem.
You, for reading Sexis. Consider this your Christmas spanking!
Happy Holidays!