We all have this one itch to scratch. Some people have an itch that is scratched by a little bit of tying down. Some people have an itch that’s scratched by spanking, crying, or balloon popping. Whatever it is that scratches your itch, you love it and want to have fun with it.
Enter your partner.
You two may have just recently started having sex. Maybe you’ve been having sex for a while. However, now you want to introduce them to your itch and scratch! Otherwise known as, your kink!
Oh, now you’re backing up. “What if they think I’m weird? What if it grosses them out?”
Well, the best piece of advice is to swallow your shyness and come out to your partner and tell them all about it. Or not. You could be more subtle. Maybe slowly bring them up to speed on it. Leave bits of rope dangling from the ceiling. Let them come in on you watching your favorite spanking porn. However you introduce them is honestly up to you. It’s possible they won’t accept it; it’s possible they’ll be repulsed by it and never want you to bring it up again. Or, as happens in three quarters of relationships, they’ll want to know more about it.
Me personally, I have a minor bondage kink. I like tying down my partner, or even being tied down. I wasn’t super excited to bring this up to my partner, as I knew she didn’t like roughness in general, and especially not in the bedroom. However, when I finally brought it up to her, she was curious, if not completely willing, under the stipulation that I be gentle with her. The accepting partner is not an unusual circumstance. They are typically surprised, and then driven by curiosity about the kink, and about how you got to the point of liking that particular kink.
And now, the Introduction
Once you’ve actually told them about your kink, introducing it to the bedroom is relatively easy. It takes some patience and some slowness, but the payoff is wonderful. Just remember: your partner is less advanced on your kink. For some kinks, like stockings, this is not a big deal, but if you’re experimenting with something more extreme, such as breathplay, bondage, or even spanking, it’s best to take the whole thing slowly and let them know that they have the power to stop everything at a seconds notice. Never forbid your partner from backing out on a kink, and especially never guilt them for doing so. This is the fastest way to find that your partner doesn’t want to indulge you in the bedroom with a surprise of some kind.
As with all parts of your relationship and sex life, treat your and your partner’s kinks with respect and grace. Don’t freak out at their kink, and they won’t panic at yours.
It’s always worth it to keep them in the loop with your sexual well being, rather than to shove your kinks away into some small locked box, until your partner comes home to you wearing their mother's heels and tying yourself up in some awkward pose with candle wax in reaching distance.
That tends to give them a small shock.