What Is A Sub Journal?
As I have stated in previous articles, Communication is the key to every successful relationship, and it is especially important in the BDSM lifestyle. Without proper communication between a Dom and a sub, the relationship is not likely to flourish. Talking face to face is usually the ideal medium used to communicate, but for some individuals that may not be possible or maybe communicating through writing is easier. Sometimes, A Submissive may be a novice, shy, embarrassed, or intimidated, making verbal communication with their Dom a challenge. In this age of technology, Distance can also be a roadblock to proper communication. In these cases, good Dominant is one who uses tools and techniques to help his Submissive communicate and grow. One of these tools is having the sub keep a daily journal of thoughts, feelings, activities, and whatever else they can think of. Journaling is a very common and often effective tool used to improve communication, trust, transparency, and understanding in a D/S relationship. Even I personally use an online journal, and in my experience, it has made a great difference in my relationship with my Master.
There are many ways to use a Journal, and each journal is as unique as the Submissive that keeps it. No two journals will be the same, but often there are common themes and uses.
Journaling For Development And Understanding
The most common way for a journal to be used is to help the Submissive grow and learn so that they can better serve their Dom. This is often done by having the Sub document their thoughts, feelings, and what they do that day. This serves as a way to better help the Submissive understand the reasons behind their thoughts, feelings, and actions by allowing them to consciously think about them in an objective way by writing them down. This also allows the Dominant to learn and better understand the Submissive's way of thinking. By writing things down, The sub is often able to get a different perspective on where things are, and where they may be going. Understanding one's motivation behind their thoughts and actions can prove very helpful for improving or modifying behavior as well.
Journaling As Documentation
As a submissive, I find it a very helpful and encouraging thing to be able to look back at my accomplishments as a submissive, and seeing how far I have come in my training. By writing everything down, not only can I look back to see my progress, but I can also better see where I have made a mistake, or could have done things differently. It can be a very good feeling to be able to have a visual reminder of a time that you had overcome a challenge, or that you learned a lesson. Journaling can provide the ability to remember everything in detail when you want or need to by simply looking at the entry written, Which can be a very good thing when you wish to "relive" a fond memory or Remember not to make a similar mistake you have made.
Journaling As Punishment
Having a sub write essays as a punishment is a very common practice among D/s relationships, so what better place to write them than in a personal journal? For example, if a sub were to show disrespect, having them write an essay on the importance of respect can not only make them think about their mistake objectively and why it was wrong, but to serve as a reminder not to make that same mistake. Essays are often a mental punishment, but journals can also be helpful with physical punishments as well by having the sub write down exactly what they did to earn a punishment, how they were punished, how it felt, and what they learned from the experience.
Journaling To Bond
Journals are commonly used in long distance relationships because they allow for a way to share pictures, links, quotes, videos, music, and virtually anything else that may want to be shared. For example, When I see a funny story or picture I would like to share with my Master, i can simply post it on my blog, and be assured that he will see it. My Master also has the opportunity to comment on my posts and give me feedback. I also enjoy writing down my fantasies and erotic stories for him to read.
Thank you for reading. Part two will be posted soon. Enjoy!
I love this and it is nice to see BDSM articles on this site that have been well written. For myself Master requires me to document my punishments in my journal and the reason why i was punished, what the punishment consisted of, and how i felt after. It helps me to revisit any mistakes and to see how many times if any that i have repeated them so that i/We might correct them.
While writing an article for my blog on this subject I found this post and must say it is really taking the words right out of my mouth!
Great advice for any sub, serving a dom or not!