Making It Feel "Real"

A relationship is many things, a battle of wills, need, pining, happiness and sacrifice – whether we live together, next door, or miles and miles away. Whether it works on the long run depends on whether we can both balance the good and the bad, if the sacrifices are worth the happiness we can gain. And, if all goes at least well in the bedroom, of course.

But while in real life small things, like a kind caress or a quick peck on the cheek, can happen nearly casually, we might not even notice how much they mean they are completely missing while far away. After a long and tiring day it is easy to let the frustration out on our beloved ones, but no one is going to call their significant other just shout with them for no good reason. In other words, long distance relationships have different problems, and need to be treated differently to keep things working.

The biggest problem of every day:

Very-long distance relationships have a feeling of being unreal – especially between telephone calls or chats. It only exists “for real” while you are on the phone, and the lack of casual touch and kiss can fray the romance and feelings. While a short message of “I love you” can make your heart beat faster for the first week or so, it will become meaningless if used too often. So, how to “spice it up”?

Boys and girls need different things to make their hearts flutter and beat faster. And beyond that, every individual is different.

Girls need romance more often, and love to see that you cared and took the trouble to choose “the right thing” for her. Sending a hand-written letter by the traditional post or ordering a small flower-delivery when she has no special occasion is a good start. So is sending a picture of yourself posed for a hug, or a romantic photo of a sunset from your own window, telling her she is the only thing that is missing from the picture. Telling her how you want to drink cocoa together watching the snow fall, how you want to cuddle in the morning, or have wicked and kinky sex before the guests arrive. During a video chat noticing her new hairdo or calling her beautiful. Remember guys, girls love to see and hear you, but ideas and thoughts have equally huge effects.

While guys can love romance and cute ideas, what really makes the blood drain from their brains is a visual. They like something really kinky. Most guys love when their girlfriend initiates sex – they can’t resist their power. Playing “guess what color panties I am wearing” will keep them thinking of you all day, especially if you admit to wearing none. Sending him an up skirt picture or a smile with you licking your lips is bound to get a hard reaction from them. So is a short description of what you would do with them or a sexy drawing of yours regardless of the quality. Most guys find it hot when a girl watches porn, so don’t be shy, share links, pictures, and videos you like. If you do not have the same mother tongue, translating something hot/romantic/kinky into his language can be a rewarding experience too.

To keep things interesting you should be random with these suggestions rather than follow a predetermined regular schedule. Spontaneity spices it all up!

This, of course still leaves a big and obvious problem – you cannot touch each other. You cannot stroke the body of your beloved one, even if you can see and hear each other. You cannot make them react. But there are methods to make things better.

Guys often enjoy being in charge. To be on top – that said you might want to find ways of giving control over to him, and there are some real good sex toys for that. Actually letting him pick which toy you would use is already a good a start, even if his options are limited. This, of course, only applies if you have a relatively large collection.

If your toy has different settings allow him to choose how intense you use it, and let him watch. This, of course, only works during online sessions, but if you have some toys you can wear in public, like small plugs, geisha balls, bullet vibes, or vibrating panties, telling him you have chosen to wear one will make him go out of his head the entire day. Better yet, allow him to pick a day and toy (of course you can set limiting rules) and enjoy the kinky feeling that no one else knows. All they see is a woman going down the street, and they would never guess more. But someone you care for deeply knows and finds it irresistibly hot. That had always filled me with warmth, happiness, and yes, horniness. Until I tried, I would have never believed how nice the “he knows I’m a bad girl” can feel. As girls love ideas and their imaginations can run more active, a detailed description from the beloved one on how they would stroke the tits, kiss them, or lick their pussy can be an extreme turn on.

The very best choice for this is a mobile-phone-activated bullet. Set your phone to silent, don’t pick it up, and allow him to control when you can fly to heaven. Having such power over you will be fun for both. Doing this during the day is kinky, during a mutual cam show-masturbation can bring him as close as it is possible from so far.
This toy also exists in the male variety if you want to be the one to take control. During the day you can use the cock ring version, but when you decide to have fun on cam you can order him to put it on different ways– over his cock, against a masturbator, under his balls or over his perineum. Hearing his moans always made my stomach drop.

As I said it earlier, guys love a good visual. You might not be able to touch them, but you can always give them a good teasing with a striptease show, shaking his favorite parts in the cam. Giving one of your vibes a tit-job or blowjob that you would want to give him can be a mind-numbing experience for him.

These are of course, just some small suggestions that can make your everyday more “real”, each couple needs to find what really works for them.

Of course the meeting in person is what really keeps things going, and there is nothing like embracing your partner just as they get off the pain, and holding them in your arms. But making the in-betweens more enjoyable makes a world of difference.