"That which yields is not always weak."
By definition, submission is the act of willingly putting yourself under the governance or rule of another. If you're a submissive person, you've chosen to give your power and control to another, or have a strong desire to do so. Not everyone is a cut and dry submissive though, and the act of submitting isn't always an easy one. It takes a lot of self-control to make the choice to hand over your own power to another, to yield to their will, and as most submissives can tell you, it’s not an easy choice to make.
Being submissive entails many things, and sex is only a smaller portion of the big picture. A submissive won't just let someone tie them up and occasionally spank them; they're that way all the time. Submissives will act with an almost animalistic type of instinct, eyes down and shoulders hunched, around those they see as dominant to them, in and out of the bedroom. While a submissive will always be as such, they can choose to submit for only set periods of time, weekends, or only for a few hours a day.
The first part of choosing to be submissive to another is determining whether or not you can be. You will need to do some serious self-reflections to determine if you're someone who can submit. Some people are simply not cut out for it, but that doesn't make them bad or wrong. These people should instead consider acting as a dominant if power play is one of their preferences in life. If you find that you are narcissistic, focused mainly on yourself and what you will receive from an interaction, you're not submissive. A submissive is at heart a giver; they give pleasure and care to their dominants and in turn receive what they need in exchange. They care more about giving their partner pleasure and see getting pleasured in turn as icing on the cake, not an inherent right.
If you find that you are someone who could submit, you'll next want to start considering your limits. As pointed out in Fifty Shades of Grey, a hard limit is something you absolutely will not do or allow to be done to you, while a soft limit is something that could become negotiable as a relationship progresses. There’s a wonderfully detailed checklist of limits available online that you and your partner can fill out and exchange. It will help even those who are experienced in the BDSM scene determine what they will and won't do, and can do wonders for beginners determining their limits.
Being submissive entails many things, and sex is only a smaller portion of the big picture. A submissive won't just let someone tie them up and occasionally spank them; they're that way all the time. Submissives will act with an almost animalistic type of instinct, eyes down and shoulders hunched, around those they see as dominant to them, in and out of the bedroom. While a submissive will always be as such, they can choose to submit for only set periods of time, weekends, or only for a few hours a day.
The first part of choosing to be submissive to another is determining whether or not you can be. You will need to do some serious self-reflections to determine if you're someone who can submit. Some people are simply not cut out for it, but that doesn't make them bad or wrong. These people should instead consider acting as a dominant if power play is one of their preferences in life. If you find that you are narcissistic, focused mainly on yourself and what you will receive from an interaction, you're not submissive. A submissive is at heart a giver; they give pleasure and care to their dominants and in turn receive what they need in exchange. They care more about giving their partner pleasure and see getting pleasured in turn as icing on the cake, not an inherent right.
If you find that you are someone who could submit, you'll next want to start considering your limits. As pointed out in Fifty Shades of Grey, a hard limit is something you absolutely will not do or allow to be done to you, while a soft limit is something that could become negotiable as a relationship progresses. There’s a wonderfully detailed checklist of limits available online that you and your partner can fill out and exchange. It will help even those who are experienced in the BDSM scene determine what they will and won't do, and can do wonders for beginners determining their limits.
I think this article could be extremely misleading for many people.
To say that "Submissives will act with an almost animalistic type of instinct, eyes down and shoulders hunched, around those they see as dominant to them, in and out of the bedroom" is ludicrously inaccurate!
Much of the advice would only be applicable to a D/s relationship that is 24/7. Many relationships do not involve any kind of punishment. Submission is different for every person.
This article gives no background what-so-ever and to me reads like a 'one true way' for subs. Misguided at best...dangerous at worst.
lot's to unpack here.
WRONG. just ... no. so little of this is true or useful. submission is solely a physical act. you cooperate. that's it. whatever mental or emotional experiences you have are your own. no one ever owns you, your mind, or your time. ever. that's fantasy. that's play. and it's fun to play like this during playtime. even if playtime is most of the time in an LTR. but, no. you MUST care about what's in it for you. that's human. less than that is less than human. honest. you are not "a submissive." you are someone who enjoys participating in the submissive role. it's a role. it's not and never can or will be any kind of reality. the downcast eyes, the whole doing it for HIS pleasure, all that's just a pose. a way to play the game. i dismiss this article. it's fatuous and stupid and just plain unhealthy.