When it comes to BDSM, no two relationships are alike. However, there are some ideas and practices that are shared by many. One of these is the concept that BDSM play should always follow the motto: Safe, Sane and Consensual. Not all relationships believe this, but let's focus on the ones that do for the moment and talk about what exactly this means. Some may think that the concept of SSC should be self-explanatory, but to someone just entering the wonderful world of BDSM there may be so much information being thrown at them that it can get a little overwhelming and the simplest of concepts become completely foreign territory. To make this easy, let's break this down into the individual parts.

Safe:
To be safe means to try to avoid being overly risky with your play. This means many things to different people. What seems risky to one person may not be risky to another. The most common (but definitely not universal) things that are avoided due to safety risks are things involving bodily fluids, knives and other weapons, and things that would break the law. Safe does not necessarily just refer to physical safety either. Some people will avoid play such as hypnosis or other forms of psychological manipulation for fear of doing irreparable damage.

Sane:
This term is also very subjective, but it tends to mean that one believes that someone should be of sound mind when agreeing to participate in BDSM play. Many people will not play when they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol for this reason. Others believe that it is perfectly acceptable to have a drink or two before a scene, as long as you are still in full control of yourself. Just like different people have different tolerance levels for mind altering substances, different people have different opinions on what is and isn't acceptable. Some people also will not play when they are extremely angry or upset.

Consensual:
Of the three tenets of SSC, I believe that this one is the least open to interpretation. This means that both parties should always agree on the terms of play before it occurs. Consent is what separates BDSM from abuse and is one of the (if not THE) most important thing. This doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop and ask before you do any little thing, but it does mean that you need to communicate with your partner so that you know what is acceptable and what is not. Talk about what your hard limits are and what things you know you like and what things you're not sure if you'll like. A good rule of thumb, especially for newbies, is that if you're not sure, you should always ask before introducing a new form of play. Also, if your partner says no, you should stop immediately.

I hope after reading this article you feel more informed about the concept of safe, sane and consensual. Even if you decide it's not for you, I hope you learned something new.