Some of the best sex I’ve had has been with men whose dicks I’m pretty sure measured below the 5.09 (according to one major study) inch average.
If you want proof that being well-endowed isn’t always the ticket to sexual ecstasy, look no further than the man with the world record for possessing the biggest penis: Jonah Falcon, who checks in at 13.5 inches. While I know nothing about his actual sex life, something tells me that there isn’t much to envy about that measurement beyond the fame associated with achieving it. Or at the very least, I can say that if I were penis shopping, that size would be out of my preferred range. Bigger is not always better. DC Bachelor claims that women are not born size queens, but are turned into them by gossiping with their friends, who will gush over a particularly large man they’ve been with. “It’s an emotional attachment similar to how people obsess over consumer products.” I can’t say that women don’t sometimes talk about penis size, but I don’t think there are bands of women out there scouring the world for the biggest cock they can possibly fit inside them.
My suspicion is that men with smaller penises tend to be much more self-conscious about it than their lovers, male or female, are. Some guys turn it into a joke, such as Stephen “Steve-O” Glover of Jackass fame, who writes in his memoir Professional Idiot that he has “I Have a Small Weiner” (unintentional typo and all) tattooed on him. Now that’s ballsy and dare I say, kind of hot in a badass, honest way.
We have a natural curiosity about how others stack up in the sack, and it’s easy to latch onto this seemingly objective number as an indicator of performance. For those who want to know how their heavy metal heros stack up, there’s an extensive list supposedly rating these rockers’ cocks. Other famous men who supposedly aren’t that well-endowed, according to a list on Lemondrop of “17 Famous Men With Teeny Weenies” include Glover’s Jackass costar Johnny Knoxville, as well as Shia LaBeouf, Jude Law, Ben Affleck, Enrique Iglesias, Ashton Kutcher, Eminem and Howard Stern. Disgrasian reveals that The Hangover star Ken Jeong calls his penis, among other things, “the smallest cock,” a “tiny penis,” “a grower, not a shower,” and a “mangina,” in a podcast interview. And there are condoms marketed as “snugger fit” condoms catering to men who are on the smaller side and want to get the same feeling of tightness as their bigger counterparts.
Worrying about penis size, as opposed to the fact of the measurement itself, can have a detrimental effect on your sex life. I think this is pretty obvious and correlates to anything a person is self-conscious about, especially when it comes to our bodies. If we go into sex thinking we are somehow lacking in some arena, it seems natural that this negative outlook is going to affect our enjoyment. Francisco Ramirez, a global sexual-health consultant with 15 years in the field, says that one of the most commonly asked questions he receives is about penis size. “When a guy is overly concerned about his penis size it can inhibit his ability to enjoy sex — or to even approach being sexually intimate with someone at all. I speak with adult men on a regular basis who, because of what they feel is a smaller than average penis size, feel inhibited during sex, do not maintain an erection, and suffer in their sex lives as a result,” he reports.
Therefore, I’m not sure that we should be cheering a recent study that says, as Time magazine’s Healthland blog reports, it may, in fact, be possible to enlarge your penis. They report on the “traction method,” “in which a penile extender stretched the phallus daily, resulted in average growth of 0.7 inches (of the flaccid penis) in one study. In another study of the same method, men reported an average increase of 0.9 inches in length while flaccid, and 0.67 inches while erect.” As one commenter astutely noted, “The appeal of a wee size increase would be MORE than negated by the anti-appeal of a person willing to spend 4-6 hours a day in a ‘penile extender.’”
Several people, including Ramirez, as well as sex educator Ian Kerner, as quoted by Healthland, point to porn as a problem in adding to men’s insecurity around size. But that explanation sounds weak to me, not to mention that porn is an easy scapegoat for almost anything. If someone truly cannot differentiate fantasy from reality, and doesn’t recognize that men who are specifically skilled, in addition to being well-endowed, are the ones who are employed in porn, then I think they have bigger things to worry about than their cock size. That’s the male equivalent of women bemoaning that they don’t look like Victoria’s Secret models. It’s a copout, and not a very becoming one. And for the record, there is porn centered around the premise of men with a small dick; a quick Google search yielded PinkyDicks.com. One porn message board recommended Alex Sanders or Randy West, as two “smaller” sized woodsmen (that’s not my area of expertise so I can’t vouch for their endowments).
I’m not suggesting that male insecurity about penis size isn’t real, but at a certain point, I think you have to accept what you’ve been gifted with in the body lottery and figure out a way to make the most of it. While most are intended to be humorous and self-effacing, Alan Weider, who wrote the memoir Year of the Cock, also showed he can laugh at his penis, and himself, when he came up with “13 Great Things About Having a Small Penis.” One is that you’re more likely to get backdoor action. I don’t know if you’re “14% more likely,” as he puts it, but I can promise you that the men at the higher range, who I’ve been with, are ones who I wouldn’t have tried to have anal sex with, even with lots and lots of lube.
Sometimes I feel like a broken record because I so firmly believe that so much of our sexuality is subjective and involves, yes, talking, or at least discerning what your partner or partners actually think. Obviously size is a touchy subject, but I think men need to take responsibility for their insecurity and find ways to both give and get sexual pleasure that are not predicated on having a giant monster cock. Because unless you’re born that way, you’re not going to suddenly grow one. If you’re with a woman who is dying to feel that sense of fullness, there are plenty of dildos and vibrators in a range of sizes that you can use with her or on her. You can even do that while she’s touching you, and the same goes for anal play and butt plugs.
This isn’t a party trick that’s going to work with everyone, but for me, especially when I’ve been involved with kinky role-playing with male lovers, the issue of size really wasn’t an issue…unless they made it one. You can experiment with different positions and see if some lead to better sensations and if you simply cannot stop thinking about the size of your penis, find a way to incorporate that into your sex life. Some men get off on being “berated” for their smallness, even if the reality is they’re not so small.
As Ramirez states, “Bigger does not mean better. And it certainly does not mean experiencing more sexual pleasure. The guy with the better sex life is not always the one who wins the size prize.” I think it’s somewhat akin to height, in that men often feel their masculinity is tied to it, and yet it’s a quirk of nature as to whether you’re six feet tall…or nine inches long. I’ve never broken up with or hooked up with a guy specifically because of his size, and while I can’t speak for everyone, I think that the hoopla around size detracts from time we could better spend getting off. So no, I’m not a size queen. And I’m perfectly happy that way. The size of a person’s brain, however…that I am very interested in, but again, I’m keeping my measuring tape safely tucked away.
If you want proof that being well-endowed isn’t always the ticket to sexual ecstasy, look no further than the man with the world record for possessing the biggest penis: Jonah Falcon, who checks in at 13.5 inches. While I know nothing about his actual sex life, something tells me that there isn’t much to envy about that measurement beyond the fame associated with achieving it. Or at the very least, I can say that if I were penis shopping, that size would be out of my preferred range. Bigger is not always better. DC Bachelor claims that women are not born size queens, but are turned into them by gossiping with their friends, who will gush over a particularly large man they’ve been with. “It’s an emotional attachment similar to how people obsess over consumer products.” I can’t say that women don’t sometimes talk about penis size, but I don’t think there are bands of women out there scouring the world for the biggest cock they can possibly fit inside them.
My suspicion is that men with smaller penises tend to be much more self-conscious about it than their lovers, male or female, are. Some guys turn it into a joke, such as Stephen “Steve-O” Glover of Jackass fame, who writes in his memoir Professional Idiot that he has “I Have a Small Weiner” (unintentional typo and all) tattooed on him. Now that’s ballsy and dare I say, kind of hot in a badass, honest way.
We have a natural curiosity about how others stack up in the sack, and it’s easy to latch onto this seemingly objective number as an indicator of performance. For those who want to know how their heavy metal heros stack up, there’s an extensive list supposedly rating these rockers’ cocks. Other famous men who supposedly aren’t that well-endowed, according to a list on Lemondrop of “17 Famous Men With Teeny Weenies” include Glover’s Jackass costar Johnny Knoxville, as well as Shia LaBeouf, Jude Law, Ben Affleck, Enrique Iglesias, Ashton Kutcher, Eminem and Howard Stern. Disgrasian reveals that The Hangover star Ken Jeong calls his penis, among other things, “the smallest cock,” a “tiny penis,” “a grower, not a shower,” and a “mangina,” in a podcast interview. And there are condoms marketed as “snugger fit” condoms catering to men who are on the smaller side and want to get the same feeling of tightness as their bigger counterparts.
Worrying about penis size, as opposed to the fact of the measurement itself, can have a detrimental effect on your sex life. I think this is pretty obvious and correlates to anything a person is self-conscious about, especially when it comes to our bodies. If we go into sex thinking we are somehow lacking in some arena, it seems natural that this negative outlook is going to affect our enjoyment. Francisco Ramirez, a global sexual-health consultant with 15 years in the field, says that one of the most commonly asked questions he receives is about penis size. “When a guy is overly concerned about his penis size it can inhibit his ability to enjoy sex — or to even approach being sexually intimate with someone at all. I speak with adult men on a regular basis who, because of what they feel is a smaller than average penis size, feel inhibited during sex, do not maintain an erection, and suffer in their sex lives as a result,” he reports.
Therefore, I’m not sure that we should be cheering a recent study that says, as Time magazine’s Healthland blog reports, it may, in fact, be possible to enlarge your penis. They report on the “traction method,” “in which a penile extender stretched the phallus daily, resulted in average growth of 0.7 inches (of the flaccid penis) in one study. In another study of the same method, men reported an average increase of 0.9 inches in length while flaccid, and 0.67 inches while erect.” As one commenter astutely noted, “The appeal of a wee size increase would be MORE than negated by the anti-appeal of a person willing to spend 4-6 hours a day in a ‘penile extender.’”
Several people, including Ramirez, as well as sex educator Ian Kerner, as quoted by Healthland, point to porn as a problem in adding to men’s insecurity around size. But that explanation sounds weak to me, not to mention that porn is an easy scapegoat for almost anything. If someone truly cannot differentiate fantasy from reality, and doesn’t recognize that men who are specifically skilled, in addition to being well-endowed, are the ones who are employed in porn, then I think they have bigger things to worry about than their cock size. That’s the male equivalent of women bemoaning that they don’t look like Victoria’s Secret models. It’s a copout, and not a very becoming one. And for the record, there is porn centered around the premise of men with a small dick; a quick Google search yielded PinkyDicks.com. One porn message board recommended Alex Sanders or Randy West, as two “smaller” sized woodsmen (that’s not my area of expertise so I can’t vouch for their endowments).
I’m not suggesting that male insecurity about penis size isn’t real, but at a certain point, I think you have to accept what you’ve been gifted with in the body lottery and figure out a way to make the most of it. While most are intended to be humorous and self-effacing, Alan Weider, who wrote the memoir Year of the Cock, also showed he can laugh at his penis, and himself, when he came up with “13 Great Things About Having a Small Penis.” One is that you’re more likely to get backdoor action. I don’t know if you’re “14% more likely,” as he puts it, but I can promise you that the men at the higher range, who I’ve been with, are ones who I wouldn’t have tried to have anal sex with, even with lots and lots of lube.
Sometimes I feel like a broken record because I so firmly believe that so much of our sexuality is subjective and involves, yes, talking, or at least discerning what your partner or partners actually think. Obviously size is a touchy subject, but I think men need to take responsibility for their insecurity and find ways to both give and get sexual pleasure that are not predicated on having a giant monster cock. Because unless you’re born that way, you’re not going to suddenly grow one. If you’re with a woman who is dying to feel that sense of fullness, there are plenty of dildos and vibrators in a range of sizes that you can use with her or on her. You can even do that while she’s touching you, and the same goes for anal play and butt plugs.
This isn’t a party trick that’s going to work with everyone, but for me, especially when I’ve been involved with kinky role-playing with male lovers, the issue of size really wasn’t an issue…unless they made it one. You can experiment with different positions and see if some lead to better sensations and if you simply cannot stop thinking about the size of your penis, find a way to incorporate that into your sex life. Some men get off on being “berated” for their smallness, even if the reality is they’re not so small.
As Ramirez states, “Bigger does not mean better. And it certainly does not mean experiencing more sexual pleasure. The guy with the better sex life is not always the one who wins the size prize.” I think it’s somewhat akin to height, in that men often feel their masculinity is tied to it, and yet it’s a quirk of nature as to whether you’re six feet tall…or nine inches long. I’ve never broken up with or hooked up with a guy specifically because of his size, and while I can’t speak for everyone, I think that the hoopla around size detracts from time we could better spend getting off. So no, I’m not a size queen. And I’m perfectly happy that way. The size of a person’s brain, however…that I am very interested in, but again, I’m keeping my measuring tape safely tucked away.
I have to debate this. For one, you start off saying you've never been with me but you IMAGINE what it must be like. That's not journalism, that's pure speculation based on preconceived notions.
I know how to use size to my advantage - it's basic physics that being thicker than a wrist will have a different (and possibly) more stimulation. You also might want to factor in the fact that someone like me will have had more sexual experiences, and from that alone, the sex will be better.
The usual platitude, in my and others' experience, that "size doesn't matter" is a lie. It does.
That said, I've never gotten entirely in a woman, so length is not an issue - there's only so deep that you can go. The LENGTH has no inherent advantage save one - long, uniform strokes that stimulate a clitoris in a different, unusual way - and that often can be exciting unto itself (a stimulation style that's rare). Aiming in various angles to get different stimulation is also a good way to make new experiences. As for the male, most of the sensation is in the glans, and again, long strokes have a different affect on it.
However, I must stress the word "different". It isn't "better", it's different. There is a change in sensation, and that alone can be stimulating (providing the man isn't a clod and doesn't try to force anything.)
In addition, oral sex is trickier with women - they tend to teeth scrape. Men with extremely thick penises tend to be very wary of oral sex and tend to be attracted to women who have had experience. (They also tend to be experienced at giving oral sex - they're aware of the fact many women like reciprocation in that area.)
Men with small penises can stimulate women just as much as anyone, according to other friends. Again, they have to know how to use it to their best advantage. Fortunately, the clitoris isn't DEEP within a woman, so you'd have to have a very very serious case of micropenis to not stimulate her.
Insecurity is indeed a problem, but everyone has insecurities - job, wealth, health, family, and so on. The way to combat insecurity is to not attach too much significance to it. In my case, people have attached significance to my size since I was 10, so I've gone through the entire spectrum of it (from ego to pride to being burned out about it to just enjoying it for what it is).
There are women who just enjoy the visual stimulation of a massive penis the same way some men are attracted to huge breasts. There are equally as many men, for instance, who like "pettanko" women (boyish, slim women), too. It's all a personal preference.
But saying "Size doesn't matter" is a lie. It does matter and it does have an effect on sex - the question is "how much does it matter TO YOU" and the answer is "do you know how to use what you have properly, big or small".
Of course it matters. Everything matters in varying degrees, and in the realm of sexual stimulation different sized cocks are going to have varying effects on any woman. Interestingly women are pretty much exactly as preoccupied with their tits as guys are with their cocks (70% dissatisfied). I go into the issue at length in episode two of Ending The Sexual Dark Age.
Jonah, if you're inclined I'd love to do a serious interview with you regarding the pluses and minuses of having a monster cock. My podcast is brutally honest sex-ed for open-minded adults, and I'm betting the audience would love to hear from you. jvaltharas at gmail dot com
Sure, why not?
Excellent, drop me an email to jvaltharas @ gmail dot com (or hit me up on facebook or twitter) and we'll set something up for whenever it's convenient for you. Links to all of them are on the podcast website at sexualdarkage.com
Jonah, are you sure you got your anatomy right?!
"Long, uniform strokes that stimulate a clitoris in a different, unusual way... Fortunately, the clitoris isn't DEEP within a woman"
The G-spot is what you are referring to. The clitoris is the external bead of nerves about 2 inches above the vaginal opening.
Sheesh.
Actually,
a big cock is great for intercourse, but not so great great if you like anal and oral sex.
I have to disagree with your size queen reference and why some women are like that.
I have been with 2 men in my life, the first one was a joke but I didn't know any better at the time, my hubby now of 21 years I would say is average in the dick department, but I am a size queen.
I have asked in a poll if women thought that having kids made a difference, as I have had 2 but my youngest is 19, so i doubt my vag stayed that way all these years, it is just something I crave, the fullness feeling. But on the same token, my hubby satisfies me just as well.
I would have to say if we are talking size matters, I don't think so unless we are talking girth here as well. You can have a 10 inch dick with a 1/2 inch diameter and I can almost guarantee you won't see much action!
Missyoububbles, I agree , I am guite thick and women talk and seek me out, just to feel that "being totally full penis. I would like to really know what the largest penis is, because If you ask any woman they will tell tou girth matters more , so what penis is bigger 13"long by 6 around or 10 long and 8" around, must be a volumn formula. Worlds longest doesn't mean worlds biggest