I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but people can be really weird about feet. Squeamish weird, I mean. I have a couple of friends who can be grossed out so easily by the mere mention of, say, rubbing a bare foot down their leg, and others who would rather die than contemplate becoming a podiatrist.

If you are one of those people, please look away now.

Most women, and I’d imagine men as well, discover footjobs by accident. You’re messing around somewhere or other... maybe lying on the bed, or perhaps he’s on the floor while you’re sitting on the sofa, and you’re tracing a foot around his body before letting it nestle between his legs. Then, you're wriggling your toes. Or maybe you’re both in a restaurant, and a foot beneath the table is sliding up his thigh.

Sounds fun. Let’s go further.

Testicles and feet are not always a happy combination. Neither are testicles and knees, although any couple that has danced so close that one of her legs slides between his, then is gently raised until it touches him there will know that it’s simply a matter of trust. Let’s be honest here - if he’ll stick his cock in a hole that’s filled with sharp teeth, a few toes around his todger should be nothing to fear whatsoever.

It feels strange, at first. Probably for him, but definitely for her. We think we know every inch of our partner’s body, because we’ve explored it often enough. However, our feet and toes have a sensitivity that our hands, mouths, or whatever else you use, do not. It’s why they’re so ticklish.

More or less, every nerve end in your entire lower body is located down there, and while that is equally true of your hands (with the upper body, of course), our hands are accustomed to the manifold sensations that a normal day can offer them. Your feet, generally, aren’t. You walk on them, true, but you coat them in socks and shoes, as well. You know when you’re walking barefoot, because every sensation feels so much more alive. And, you know when you’re touching your partner with them, because he feels so much more alive as well. At the same time as this, your own brain is struggling to process the sheer unfamiliarity of the sensation.
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There’s a joke among men that if they masturbate with their other hand, the one that normally holds the tissue, it feels like somebody else is doing it. True or false? I don’t know. However, using your foot to masturbate your partner also feels like someone else is involved. This is because you know what he’s meant to feel like, and you know all the signs that he gives out when you handle him.

Where have they gone?

Your feet cannot grip like your hands, so his penis immediately feels somehow different. Your toes are nowhere near as dexterous as your fingers. When you squeeze him in your fist, you can gauge how much pressure you’re using, and you know when you hit the point he likes best. When you squeeze him between two feet... not so much. With your hands, you can gently score with your nails. With your feet... and so on.

I found a video on a tube site a while back, a long legged woman giving her man a footjob, then bending her torso forward until she could take his cock in her mouth as well. I tried. It didn’t work. I don’t know if you need to be double-jointed to do that, but you certainly need to be more flexible than I am.

She could also raise her foot to her mouth, to lick off his cum when he finished. That, I probably could do... but I’m not sure I especially want to. I don’t consider myself at all averse to feet, but for the same reason I wouldn’t want to bite my own toe nails, I don’t particularly need to be licking my instep. Unless, of course, he asked nicely.

However, even without those particular extras, there is definitely something exciting about giving your man a footjob - a thrill of the new that doesn’t really get old.

So, what exactly does it involve?

Well, you could just watch that episode of Desperate Housewives where Gabrielle gives one to hunky gardener John. (Who now plays Christopher Ewing in Dallas. Cute and stinking rich. I’d show him my shoe closet anytime.) However, you really don’t get to see very much. Meaning anything at all. So, let’s get down to details.

Somewhat inevitably, aficionados of the footjob have broken it down into various categories, each dependent upon the method employed. There is the toe job, where both sets of toes grip each side of his shaft; there is the sole job, where the bottoms of the feet, ball and arches, take the strain; and there is stepping, in which one foot holds the penis steady and the other presses down on it, exactly as if you were taking a step. Or, if you believe Wikipedia more than you believe me, there is another form of stepping in which you literally step on his cock, first one foot, then the other. Wearing heels. Ouch.

Alternately, you can just do everything at once, varying the pressure, varying the stroke, and training yourself to use your feet as imaginatively as you would ordinarily use your hands. Fingers, palms, the fleshy bit beneath your thumbs, you don’t even really think about which part of your hand you are using, you just make sure that everything feels like it should. Which is exactly what you should do with your feet.

Use one foot to press his penis to his body, and massage his shaft with your forefoot, while your other foot rummages around with his balls. Use your toenails to scratch gently (or otherwise, if he wishes!) around all the places you might use your fingernails. Rub the top of his helmet with different parts of your soles. The skin on your feet has a very different texture to that of any other part of your body, which means a world of new sensations await him, as well as you.

Improvise! The first time you held a cock in your hand, chances are that you didn’t really know what to do, and were reliant upon his responses to guide you. Apart from that, you just did whatever you thought of. The first time you hold a cock between your feet, same thing. Let him guide you, and if he doesn’t complain, the chances are that you’re doing it right.

Just make certain that, whatever you’re doing and however you choose to do it, you are seated comfortably on something stable; that there’s no risk of leg cramps and, most important of all, there’s no danger at all of you toppling over.

The other thing to remember about feet is they are on the ends of your legs, and we’ve all seen how legs behave if they think you are falling.

They kick out. Hard. Without a thought for whatever they might connect with.

Oh damn. Have I just put your partner off playing?